And we were all pretty happy about it.
You see, years ago my parents wrote a pretty awesome book based on their “big talk” experiences with us nine kids.
And I’m so thankful not only for that book filled with wisdom that we have now used to guide us through such an important topic with every one of our children, but I’m grateful that they took the time out to have that “talk” with me when I was a kid. As I said in “round 3,” I don’t remember many details, but I remember feeling love spilling out of them as they told me about “the most beautiful, amazing thing in the world.” I remember I felt safe and secure to talk to them about pretty much anything after that.
The whole concept is that parents should be the ones to teach their children about the birds and the bees…not their friend or a neighbor kid, or some random teacher at school during the sixth grade maturation schpeal.
They recommend that age eight is a great time to have “the talk” since at that age kids are pretty aware of their surroundings and can really grasp it, yet they are still innocent enough to be in awe of how amazing it all is. Sure, some kids need it sooner, some need it later, and parents are the best judge for that.
In Lucy’s particular case, we knew she wasn’t ready at eight, and that’s ok. There were certain things that led up to all three of us feeling ready. We talked it all up, hyped that we’d be talking about something so important, took her out to a special dinner (Panera…her choice), where we talked about some initial things. Then we sat in the car and went through the whole dialog we’d done before…which we should be experts on by now but I sure still needed that book! (luckily my friend had a copy…I couldn’t remember who I lent mine to last!)
As uncomfortable as it may seem like having “the big talk” will be, I have to admit I really do like it…more and more every time we do it.
The thing I love the most is that it opens the door for talking. It gives the “ok” for questions Dave and I want to be the “go-to” experts for our kids…they know that no question under the sun is too weird or embarrassing or “bad” to ask us about. It establishes trust. I love that it builds a base to jump off of in so many ways. I love that following that “talk” every time there seems to be stuff that comes up that makes me so glad that kind of beautiful communication is open.
Thanks once again, Mom and Dad, for helping us navigate those waters so many times. I’ll always remember that night, the mesquite trees still in vibrant bloom above us, Lucy’s awe and sweet questions, and how her eyes popped right out of her head when she asked how old her siblings had been for that talk and we told her they were eight. Ha!
It was a good one. And here’s to many more follow-up discussions to go.