Ten Ways to Manage Pre-Teens
To be honest, I actually thought I was doing pretty well at that task with my four older kids.
Or maybe I just forgot. You know how you forget stuff like how tough it is to be pregnant until you are eight months in and you can’t sleep and you’re just so dang anxious to meet that baby you can hardly stand it?
Anyway, I’m in the thick of this pre-adolescence thing right about now. Some parts I get right, sometimes purely by accident. It reminds me of those miraculous nights when my babies were tiny and they actually slept through the night. I would wake up completely refreshed feeling like I won the lottery.
I remember so very well trying to determine why they had slept so well. The next night I would painstakingly work to remember the exact process of the night before…use the same blanket, swaddle just so, I’d feed that baby just how I would remember I did the night before, and tiptoe out just sure all my hard work would give me another night with good sleep. Only to wake from my slumber an hour later, back to the starting line.
Well, that’s kind of how this pre-adolescent time is going with this girl of mine:
Ten Tips for Mothering Pre-Teens
1) When kids are upset, have them drink a glass of water.
This allows time to slow down and internalize feelings for you and for your child. Maybe I need to drink more water…
2) Instead of asking yes or no questions, ask questions that require a “real” answer.
3) Give kids their dignity.
4) Let them be involved in making up the “rules.”
5) Help them transform feelings of frustration rather than transmit them.
6) Use the formula LML (“Let Me Listen”)
This means you really just listen…and offer minimal input.