Home motherhood the “parenting pose”

the “parenting pose”

by Shawni

One week a month or so ago when I was at the end of my “parenting rope,” my sister told me about something her yoga instructor had said during a recent class. They were trying to hold a complicated pose and the instructor had said, “don’t worry if you lose balance and fall out of pose, just recompose yourself and try again.”

So simple, right?

But in sharing that story my sister helped me remember that it was ok I was having a crappy parenting week, I had just slipped out of my “parenting pose.” I could recompose myself and find it again.

Last week Lucy came home from school all lit up and chatty.

I was in the middle of trying to coordinate something for Relief Society and stood stooped over my phone trying to text but also trying to listen haphazardly to what she was saying, offering a distracted “uh-huh” or “really?’ here and there.

After a few minutes she left to do her homework and I realized, too late, that I had just missed out on a beautiful opportunity to look into her eyes and listen.

Oh this is not the first time this has happened, and sadly I know it won’t be the last. I went to find her, ready to really listen but she was on to the next thing, the moment was gone.

I had lost my “pose.”

How many times in life do we “lose our pose!” We start a new exercise routine that doesn’t last, we make new goals we don’t keep, we don’t “show up” in the ways we desire.

But you know what? That’s ok! That’s all part of being human. We all go through phases where we feel like we can conquer the world…oh, our “pose” is so on pointe! And then we lose balance.

The point is to just keep trying.

And also to realize when we’ve fallen out of pose so we can learn to do it differently next time.

There is this beautiful painting I have hanging in my closet where I see it every day:

Teach These Souls to Fly by William Blake

It is a mother putting all her strength and energy into her baby (I wrote a post about that painting in much more detail back HERE.) She is in the “parenting pose” if there ever was one. I mean, just look at those muscles trying to focus on her responsibility!

But that inverted tension just can’t last forever.

We have to give ourselves a break every now and again.

And then recompose and try again.

I’m so grateful for second chances.

You may also like

9 comments

Danielle H Bates May 5, 2021 - 9:53 am

Thank you for your inspiring posts. I have a question about a piece of art you posted (possibly a year a go). It was of a women and an angel was leading her in a different direction than the one she was choosing. I believe it had some orange tones. Do you recall the artist? I am looking for a Mothers Day gift and couldn’t find it in your blog archive. No worries if you don’t recall. Thanks again!

Reply
Ellen May 5, 2021 - 9:24 pm

I might be wrong, but is it one of these pictures by Brian Kershisnik from this post:
https://71toes.com/2020/12/angels-among-us-and-lighttheworld/

Maybe seventh picture down entitled “Looking for Something”? Good luck!
Life is Good 🙂

Reply
Danielle Bates May 7, 2021 - 8:56 am

This is it, thank you!

Reply
Shawni May 11, 2021 - 2:23 pm

Thank you for the info, Ellen, I’ve been unable to come back here for a while! I love that picture, Danielle!

Reply
Jessi May 5, 2021 - 9:58 am

I needed this today. Juggling 5 who are 9 and under has me struggling most days. I often tell my husband “I think I’m ruining our kids!” Holding the “parent pose” is difficult! I thought it would be so easy. HA! Thankful for your real post. I needed the reminder! ❤️

Reply
Shawni May 11, 2021 - 2:24 pm

Oh I thought so too! And it just gets trickier as they grow. But luckily we can always get back into the parenting pose when we fall out of it, which all of us do from time to time!

Reply
Rachel Brooks May 6, 2021 - 6:33 am

Who is the artist of this parenting pose picture? I’ve never seen it before.

Reply
Shawni May 11, 2021 - 5:28 pm

It’s called “Teach These Souls to Fly” by William Blake. I was in such a hurry to post that I forgot to include, will add now. I love it so so much. I wrote a whole post about it back here: https://71toes.com/2013/05/teach-these-souls-to-fly-give-away/

Reply
Paola Jellings May 25, 2021 - 5:34 am

I loved this. And I remember reading about the William Blake painting in your original post. It has stayed with me as a parent, forever. I’d love to know where I could purchase a print for myself if you happen to remember? ❤❤

Reply

Leave a Comment

UA-15801285-2