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“friending”

by Shawni

The other day I was juggling a few different things when Claire needed some attention.

Well, she didn’t “need” it. She didn’t ask for it. But you know when you just know?

Sometimes I act quickly on those nudges. I drop what I’m doing and go give love. (And it’s amazing how that “important” thing I was doing generally survives just fine without me right that minute!). But far too often I am too quick to push those nudges away.

I think to myself, “I’ll get to that after I finish this…”

And then when “this” is finished, I have another “this,” until I go to bed at night, sending up a plea to God that maybe I can do it all better tomorrow.

In this busy world, sometimes we find ourselves on the conveyor belt of the “hustle” and we forget to take time for what’s really the most important.

Sometimes it’s tough to decide what is the most important.

But I love this quote from Thomas S. Monson: “Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved.”

Those “people to be loved” are so often our children.

And our husbands.

And our friends.

So I loved this thought that my friend Brooke Romney posted the other day:

She is so wise (check out her Instagram HERE).

What’s that you say? That quote is about friends, not kids and husbands?

But really, can’t our husbands and kids be our very best friends? Especially if we spent 200 hours (over and over again) actively listening and offering unconditional love?

Whether we are related or not, it does take time to be a friend.

On another similar note, I have been thinking about the time it takes to be a friend in relation to ministering as well. “Ministering” is a fancy word we use in our church for assignments we have to look out for others in our congregation. (Sometimes I like to call “ministering” “friending” instead because really, it’s all about being a friend.)

It takes time to get to know those around us. To really get to know them. Including those in our own families who change and morph into different stages all the time. It takes looking up from phones and social media and this computer of mine! It takes pondering and listening. It takes asking good questions.

In this fast-paced world sometimes it’s too easy to forget that (at least it is for me!!).

But oh! How rewarding it is when we do!

I’m so glad I listened to that little nudge the other day and snuggled up my 17-year-old on the couch, giving her time to open up a little more to her mama.

It was an ordinary day. There was nothing grand or earth-shattering about it.

But it was a gift for both of us.

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3 comments

Isabel June 8, 2021 - 6:06 am

After an interaction with my eleven year old left me feeling so down last night I needed to read this today. Thank you for ministering even from afar.

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Heidi June 8, 2021 - 10:56 am

I love this s& I love Brooke too.
I’ve been thinking a lot about friendship lately and how many are ‘ surface’ friendships. Sure, we can go to lunch, chat but really how many deep relationships do we have? I loved this post ., thank for sharing!!

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Estelle June 8, 2021 - 11:01 am

I hope this isn’t a bad question to ask.
For those not too familiar with your religion I always thought your temple blessing wedding was the most important part of your lives. it was very serious? And frowned upon if you did not .
I know Elle has been married over a year now so is she not allowed to get temple wedding? I know previous you mentioned it was just timing to get together but you were all together this weekend etc I’m just confused as to how it all works.

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