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a new good read and being curious about ourselves

by Shawni

We just finished and discussed this book for book club:

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, by Lori Gottlieb.

And you know what? I really liked it.

It’s a story about a therapist and tells little things about all kinds of things her patients are going through, and then takes you through her story of why she went to a therapist as well. And intermixed there are all kinds of thoughts about the “stages of change” and the “stages of grief,” and gave me all kinds of good things to think about.

It gave me little stars in my eyes about how cool it would be to be a therapist.

Everyone needs to talk to someone right?

Here are a few things I made a “clip” on in my audible listening (and these are going to sound like it’s all just thoughtful quotes, but there’s a good story in there, I promise:):

“When the present falls apart, so does the future we had associated with it. And having the future taken away is the mother of all plot twists. But if we spent the present trying to fix the past or control the future, we remain stuck in place, in perpetual regret.”

“In therapy we try to fix our relationship with the past, but we need to know that right here, right now, what we are doing is changing our relationship with the future.”

(I love thinking about how we can decide, right now the steps we want to take toward our future.)

“Therapy can’t help people who aren’t curious about themselves.”

(Isn’t that a cool thought? Being curious about ourselves? Why we do the things we do? I think when we are curious about ourselves we become more humble, which is always a beautiful thing.”

“The most powerful truths, the ones people come to by themselves little by little, are the ones that stick.”

I think about this a lot. Sometimes it’s tough to learn things unless we go through them. (Tough for kids too.) Sometimes we’ve got to learn through experience, even when that experience is hard.

“Do you want to sit through the pain or do you want to suffer?”

“The reason most people go to therapists is to have the connection they crave.”

Oh we need that connection so badly. Connection brings so much happiness!

Oh gosh, I just erased the quote I loved the most…but it talked about how it is difficult to sit with ourselves and also to learn new things when we are in a constant state of distraction. Oh we are so distracted in our society these days, don’t you think?

I’m determined to be better about that…so with that I’m signing off.

Happy reading!

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6 comments

S April 29, 2022 - 3:21 pm

We also read this for bookclub a couple years ago (selected by a therapist in our group!) and I really, really enjoyed it. I felt like the author was really honest with her story and willing to do the hard work and reveal her own human-ness.

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Shawni May 4, 2022 - 2:09 pm

I agree!

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Katie April 29, 2022 - 9:48 pm

Lori Gottlieb has a great podcast called “Dear Therapist,” in which she and a co-host hear from people seeking help and offer them an abbreviated therapy session and advice. It’s really amazing how much someone’s individual struggle with something unique can feel like it translates to all of us in different ways. It’s a great listen!

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Shawni May 4, 2022 - 2:06 pm

I will have to check that out! Thank you for the info!

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Sheila+Bailey April 30, 2022 - 11:03 pm

I’m going to order it right away! The first quote you put up really spoke to me.

My two oldest kids aren’t active in the church and one is gay. Oh it’s sure not the future I imagined we’d all have but life is a wonderful journey of learning and growth isn’t it? I’m so grateful for the challenges along with the many blessings and I wouldn’t change a thing.

Thanks for the great post.

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Shawni May 4, 2022 - 2:09 pm

Oh I love those thoughts. We learn so much from the paths we chose…or don’t chose too! I learned this so beautifully from some of the people we got to meet in Grace’s mission last weekend, and it’s something I think about often. I think it takes looking at the hard things as well as the good things that come our way and choosing how we will react. We have so much power in our choices. I love that you recognize even the things that aren’t what we planned as a “wonderful journey of learning and growth.”
xoxo

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