Home motherhood cherishing the here and now

cherishing the here and now

by Shawni

Today is the day:

Official GRADUATION day for Claire.

The forecast says it’s going to be 107 so yeah. Be thinking of us sitting in that football stadium all squished together and appreciate your A/C a little extra for us! Ha!

In some ways all this graduation ruckus feels strange with all that’s going on in the world.

It feels like we need to stop and take a moment of silence, as I know so many of us have.

Over and over again.

Grieving for those children and their families. Wondering how things have come to this.

Amidst those moments of silence I hope we can realize that we are not powerless. (I love @sharonsaysso with all her wisdom and calls to action, and if you want encouragement on ideas to make change, go there.)

But one of the biggest things my heart has been mulling over is that I have power as a mother.

I can stop what I’m doing, right now, and look into my children’s eyes, who are right here.

Yes, they are growing up and heading out, but even then I can call them. I can FaceTime them. I can look them in their eyes and love them. I can teach them goodness. I can teach them their divine nature.

And that is powerful.

We cannot underestimate the power of loving and nurturing.

That little thing is one of the very biggest things that I think sometimes we forget. Sure, we do it. We have our motherhood muscles on repeat, doing the work of mothering, day in and day out.

But do we stop and realize what our love can do? The ripple effects it can create when we take the time to teach and be patient and forgive and build through our love? The humans we are nurturing to become contributing members of society who hopefully then will in turn love and learn to turn the other cheek and give their neighbors the benefit of the doubt and listen to their stories.

I think sometimes we forget our power in the trenches of it all.

So in honor of those mothers who have lost the children who were right there, the heft of their cheek on their shoulder, the palm of their hand pressed against theirs, I have been trying to “see” my own better.

I swam with them yesterday, and even got my hair wet:)

We played cards last night.

I held their cheeks in my palms and looked into their eyes.

Little things. But they were big things.

And of course it didn’t just help them, it helped their mom.

Giving and receiving love are both such beautiful gifts.

Let’s love more powerfully in honor of Texas.

Let’s look at this graduating girl one more time:

She is quirky and funny and lovely and good. And also stubborn and feisty and still learning so many things.

And in the wake of current events I am keenly aware of how lucky I am to have her right here, and to call her my own.

I can’t always be there to keep her safe, but I can give her power from the inside with my love.

And I am so excited to see the places she’ll go!

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2 comments

Kristen May 26, 2022 - 12:33 pm

I agree and do these things with my kids but then I think it’s not really my kids ( though my kids aren’t perfect and neither am I) and their friends that I’m worried about it. It’s the kids growing up in poverty and/or drug addiction. It’s the kids who don’t have engaged parents. It’s the kids with special needs or mental or emotional problems with parents who don’t have the resources to get them help. How do we help these kids? My heart is broken.

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Kristine May 26, 2022 - 9:09 pm

Ten years ago the shooter shot his mother. This week the shooter shot his grandma. One was wealthy the other likely not. I’m sure the grandma and mom were engaged. They were first on the list to silence. The ones in their way. Their last connection to the world. These men were isolated. Maybe the second was COVID situation that was when he dropped out. Did his school district send everyone home that spring? People talk resources but for many suffering mental illness there is no cure, no successful management and heck the wait to get an appointment many months. Maybe an ER can do a quick observation like the shooter of the store years before that incident. But what can a person assess in 2 days? I’m not suggesting we randomly intern people longer but it’s triage and they can only assess the present. It’s not like a tumor where you can get an X-ray or do blood work and know everything. Few go into psychiatry. For decades we just locked people away. Only recently have their been medications for a small number of identifiable issues. You can’t parent a kid in a way to make them free of cancer or parent a kid to be free of mental illness. Many using substances are self medicating something. At some point the children of the 90’s will be seniors and perhaps they will change the constitution? They are ones in elementary started doing these drills. Or maybe they watch each remake of Red Dawn and see invasions like Ukraine and live with it? Maybe movies with realistic weapons moving forward need to be cancelled. We have Baldwin anti gun in real life getting 6 figures to hold one in a movie they want hundreds of thousands of people to watch for entertainment. What a conflict! Kids must be confused. They practice hiding from shooters yet so much entertainment full of violence. A lot less language and sex in movies than the 80’s and a lot more violence. Enjoy the graduation. Can’t stop life cause of things happening in the world there is always something. The shooter could have been graduating this year. Horrible act, and was just a kid himself earlier this month. Texas pretty open but he would have left right when all kids locked out school even the open states. If only he had somewhere to be around other people, maybe..

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