I performed at what I think was my fifth cello recital a week or so ago. Yep, my fifth recital where I was surrounded once again by a whole slew of performers like 40 years younger than me. For real, I’m not exaggerating. I have to say, I did NOT want to do it. It is so claustrophobic to go and perform something you really don’t do that well in front of an audience. Serious kudos to all you performers out there! But I wanted to write about it because I got a little extra encouragement as I performed, fingers shaking up there in front of everyone. And I want to remember that small gesture that made all the difference.
I was determined to practice my heart out before the recital. Enough excuses on not practicing. I practiced until my back was sore and my fingers ached. Getting those fingers in the right position in all those different positions is no joke, I’ll tell you that! And keeping that bow on one string? Gosh it’s tricky for me. But I felt like I was getting better.
…until I got there. It is scary you guys! Thank goodness there happened to be one other adult there this time around! My first time with another adult if you can spot her there on the left, hallelujah!
Anyway, I waited my turn, heart beating, then went out and fumbled around playing my song: “Humoresque” by Antonin Dvorak.
It’s supposed to sound like this:
But it didn’t.
Of course, even after all my practice, as I started playing my fingers were shifting in all the wrong places as I scratched out those notes.
But here’s the good news: out of the corner of my eye I could somehow see this teenage boy who was sitting right in front of me. Can you see him below across from me in this blurry shot taken from a video? He had this encouraging smile on the whole time, fully engaged. It was like he was saying “you can do this!” with his eyes. Like he almost knew I was about to stand up and walk right out of there.
How nice is that? I’m sure we were to the point in the program where most teenagers were bored to tears. Can you see it in the kid next to him? I feel you, buddy! But there was something in that engaged kid’s smile that willed me on, and I finished. Done!
And I’m just here to say, smiles matter. Encouragement matters! Even to older ladies who seem like they should have it all figured out.
They don’t. At least I don’t. And I was just so grateful for that seemingly insignificant act of kindness from a random teenage boy in the audience to help me get through.
Some polite, quiet encouragement.
We had to sneak out early, but I wish I could have told him I was grateful.
I’m so lucky to have my patient teacher and these two other people below who are so nice and encouraging about my practicing at home, despite the scratchiness.
That last part made it sound like I’m giving an academy award speech, Ha! All that to say that yes, the little things are sometimes the big things.
And a smile as a little extra encouragement can really mean the world. I’m going to remember that and pay it forward. Whether it’s at a cello recital or on Instagram or at the grocery store, everyone can use some encouragement!
I think it’s so commendable to try something new, especially after traditional schooling years. It’s also so beneficial for everyone involved in multi generational activities as we all have so much to learn from each other! Between learning the cello and starting your beautiful garden, you are setting a great example of how we can continue to learn new things throughout our lives. I hope you’re proud of all your hard work!
Shawni I am sure you played beautifully. We are our own worst critics. Keep up the great work and amazing example that you are to your kids and grandchildren!
Thanks Tammy!
xoxo
I’m probably old enough to be your mother, and I could not do that. I’m not a shy person at all, but I had an unfortunate experience at my first piano recital. Although I stayed with it long enough to play hymns, I never have played for an audience again. *sigh*
Dang I’m sorry about that Laura! It’s never too late if you want to try it again!
XOXO
Congratulations, Shawnie, you are so brave! I opened your blog today feeling quite down and honestly thought to myself, ‚Please let there be something encouraging today‘. And there was! Thank you! I‘m almost the same age as you and also struggling with something new. It‘s a sport I started a few months ago where I also am surrounded by young people only. I really love the sport, but sometimes feel out of place there and doubt myself and my abilities even though I’m enjoying it a lot and am getting positive feedback. But it‘s hard seeming to be the only one in the world who does this at my age – starting something new like this later in life. And also – of course all those young people have a very different learning curve, and comparing myself to them stands in the way of my enjoying the activity. But I want to keep doing it, and your post today is helping me a little bit getting through these feelings. So – thank you so much for sharing this experience! Love from Germany
Aw Petra I love that you are doing this new sport! Getting out of your comfort zone! Keep at it! I’m with you that it’s frustrating and such a learning curve. But by doing these things we are opening new channels in our brains (at least that’s what I’m hoping!). Sending love to Germany!
XOXO
This is so lovely! I try to be the person in the audience smiling and nodding at the speaker, especially if they seem nervous.
I want to be that person too! I’m sure you’ve probably helped more people than you know through your smile and warmth! Thanks for that example.
XOXO
I love this story! thanks for sharing