A Short Summer Stint With Lucy at Home

Let’s take a minute to talk about the short time we got to have Lucy home this summer. The “three musketeers” reunited. Because I want to hold onto it in my mother-heart.

We have to back up to a few months ago to explain why it’s still summer and she’s already gone.

You see, in the midst of still trying to wrangle her first year of college, Lucy sprouted the idea that maybe she would try out BYU summer school this summer. You can bet I have a whole novel to say about that another day. Because, spoiler alert, she’s over a week into that new adventure. She’s really doing it! Of course, there have been ups and downs galore (although I think the ups are weighing out the downs so far). There have been miracles and so much God in the details. I don’t know why I’m so teary-impressed with the grit of that girl of mine over and over, because I should probably know to expect it by now.

But for today let’s talk about what it was like to have Lucy home for just a bit between those two college experiences. A little moment in time that I thought was so precious and good. But that same moment in time that Lucy vowed in the end she would never do again.

Ha!

Oh, you have to take that comment with a grain of salt, because she would admit (if you gave her time to really think about it), that there were some pretty special moments in that cocoon of home.

We had a pretty heartfelt and special conversation standing in the kitchen at the beginning of her time at home. To her knowledge none of her other siblings have moved back home after heading out to college, and for the most part that’s probably true. They’ve all done more school, worked, secured internships, etc. She was a bit angry at me and Dave for this terrible turn of events, held hostage again at home.

I loved first of all that she would share her thoughts so well (and that I could be a durable object listening). And I loved watching her whole countenance shift as I turned the tables a bit, explaining that she is in charge of her next steps, not us. She’s a college girl after all. Dave and I had all kinds of ideas for what she could do this summer (vision camps, a little boot camp to help her learn other things that would help as she journeys further into college). But all of us know she wouldn’t touch our ideas with a ten-foot pole. Ideas from us at this point are like a plague to her. I asked her to tell me how it would look to her if she headed back to Utah right then, and I could almost see the wheels turning in her mind. That was not what she wanted.

All the while my heart was breaking inside for this girl who wants so much to be independent but has so many hinderances. She is trapped a bit, and so are we.

But we talked about how we can shift our perspective for that time at home and treat it as a gift rather than “home-jail.” She had no homework, no schedules, she could make money (cookie business) and work on the things she decides she would like to work on. It could be a pro rather than a con if she set up some good parameters.

And do you know what? She did just that.

Lucy is a wonder.

She filled up our house with her beautiful piano music, and we borrowed a neighbor’s guitar so she could practice her new skills she learned in a class at USU.

And what could be bad about getting to watch the season finale of Survivor with your parents?

Nothing, I tell you!

Cookie Orders Galore

Lucy kept the kitchen humming with cookie baking for her little cookie business. That girl did her work sending out all kinds of texts to remind people she was in baking mode which sure kept her busy.

Love cooking in the kitchen with that girl and the happiness she gets when she gets a cookie order.

I’m telling you, our kitchen was absolutely filled with cookie orders while Lucy was home.

I wish I had taken more pictures to truly capture all that.

Work and Games and Planning

Lu and I played some good chess, the three musketeers played some good Hearts (Lucy’s favorite).

We got so much situated for summer school and organizing life.

We got work done at the library and had time to talk through lots of things, and take Bo on late-night walks.

Lucy put together a game night with one of our favorite families.

Piano Music and Moonlight Sonata

But my favorite thing we did while she was home was sitting on the piano bench playing the piano together.

Lucy’s big goal was to learn Moonlight Sonata (my one song I play), and do you know what? She learned that thing. This is extremely tricky business without vision. But honestly it simply blows me away how she learns.

I tell her the notes and she plays them (some quite complex and complicated chords and combinations), and then she REMEMBERS all of them. She is so very gifted.

We made Texas sheet cake together (something she was yearning to do since last year in college).

Can you tell how excited she was?

We made a toast with our Texas sheet cake when we were done with Moonlight Sonata.

Lu and I scrubbed our outside furniture in the deep heavy AZ afternoon sun, and got to see friends who were leaving on missions.

She had a guitar lesson with the amazing man who taught her piano but really is a guitarist. He was flabbergasted with how well she can remember those chords.

We caught a last sunset (Lucy’s favorite).

And had our friends over for a last hurrah of Hearts sitting around our kitchen table.

Oh yes, it all sounds so fine and dandy. We kept ourselves busy and learned so much. But this was also a pretty emotional time. There is some kind of disconnect that rears up it’s ugly head when you want the world for your child who has some special needs.

This is really, really hard and I don’t know the next steps. But grateful as can be for BYU summer, even though the anticipation has scared the pants off of me and Dave. Lucy has never had a roommate in all her life (even at USU she had her own room).

So the best and most important thing while Lucy was home? I helped her draft a special email for her roommates telling them about her special needs and she was so willing and thankful AND her roommate replied with the sweetest email.

Which was salve to my worried mama heart in the midst of a few days for me mixed in there where there was this heavy mourning lodged in my chest for the life this girl wants so much to have.

I am usually so good at seeing what is and trying to help her love it, but for some reason I couldn’t muster up the silver linings in my heart for a few days mixed in there. Sometimes that’s just how it goes, and you need to wait for the deep worry to pass.

She is full of glory, that Lucy girl of mine, and she is doing so many amazing things. Her version of life really does have so much beauty, but just so different from how she wants it to be.

And sometimes I have to keep reminding myself of that.

It was pretty special that she asked for a father’s blessing from her dad before we headed off to move her in to her new dorm situation.

And then she was off.

Off to new and pretty exciting (as well as worrisome) things.

But she is DOING it!

And it’s amazing to watch this girl full of grit go!!

Go Lucy!