After a five-year hiatus, we reunited with a whole slew of families in Coronado for the 4th of July. We had this tradition to convene there for years when our kids were little, and even into when the big kids were dating/married. But five years ago, with so many in our large group of friends with kids getting married and having babies, we called it the grand finale.
But then, when you have a good tradition, and also a very good party planner, sometimes you just need to reunite.
To reconvene.
And reconnect.
And because of one pretty awesome friend who was able to wrangle this whole group together, we headed back to Coronado to celebrate the 4th of July for 2026.
This was one of those traditions you thought was good when your kids were little. And you know those kinds of traditions when you go back and do the same thing again you realize that tradition was actually just living it’s glory days in the sweet spot of your brain?
This was opposite of that.
The kids kept looking at me with stars in their eyes filled up with so much gratitude that we got to do this amazing thing.
Together.
All eleven of us…
(Ok actually twelve since Sam, Claire’s boyfriend, joined us for a couple of the days fresh from his summer internship.)
…along with all 116 of us that our small group from way back when has expanded to:
Yow, right?
There were a thousand times my heart just swelled up to the size of a watermelon getting to be with all these people I love who make me SO HAPPY.
And these people too.
People we have gone through the throes of parenting with. It was so fun to reconnect with their kids who are so grown up and becoming their own best selves.
Beach Reconnecting
We hung on the beach.
Got reconnected with so many of those awesome kids with Catch Phrase that Grace brought (a great beach game I must say!)
With a little Mahjong and pool swimming on the side.
Walking through golden hour for meals
We walked through the little downtown Coronado every evening to find dinner. I loved following these people around during golden hour. Love that these two walk just the same.
Ummmm, do you think this girl gets enough attention??
Everyone could eat her with a spoon I think.
Of course, everyone wants to eat Ada as well, but she is a woman of her own schedule at this stage of life.
She just became the most perfect wobbly walker, and wants to do her own exploring, not to be encumbered with people grabbing her every minute.
…and cannot be lured by candy and treat promises. Ha!
A sunset basking I want to always remember
There is one evening that I think will always hold a spot in our hearts.
There were families galore on this big lawn just basking in the glory of all that beautiful light spilling in, and we joined them.
And proceeded to not be able to stop taking pictures because it was just all so beautiful.
Ada was off taking balls and helmets from people…ha!
I loved this little squad of “mamas” with their babies passing through:
Here’s the guy who put this all together, along with his wife. She made a slideshow we gathered to watch that night filled with pictures of all the years we’ve been doing this.
It was so fun to reminisce together.
Another night I want to always remember
By the next evening Carson and Sam had arrived, and we had another glory sunset to enjoy.
We worked on planning our reunion coming up as we watched the sun set with a giant hotel party going on behind us.
Can you tell we could NOT tear ourselves away from this??
That night the kids reconvened like old times for games. Boy they have played some awesome games over the years!! I listed some of those games over on my games for a crowd post I wrote a while back.
The 4th of July Parade
We headed out to catch the 4th of July parade on the big morning.
Small-town parades are just the best, all the music playing and kids everywhere just waiting for that parade to start.
And then it came.
Fun times for all.
Back to the hotel.
The Beach on the 4th
The weather called for a cloudy day but it was a pretty beautiful one!
Thoroughly enjoyed by all.
Murphy made some new friends and it was pretty adorable.
Family and group 4th of July photos
Tradition has it that we meet on the “green” for family photos before the fireworks.
So of course we held true to tradition.
So many good families gathered there all dressed in their red, white and blue.
We usually get group photos of all the teenagers, littles, marrieds, etc.
But all we got this year was one of the girls.
And they are all pretty awesome girls.
Got one of our girls too, minus Lucy and Ada who had had enough photos by this point.
Fireworks at the golf course
Tradition has it to walk to the golf course to watch the fireworks.
We always must stop here for pictures too:)
And then pizza (40 pizzas this time!!) and basking in golden hour until the fireworks start.
I love so much little moments like this where someone is showering Lucy with love.
She was having a tricky evening so after these first two pictures she let me just sit and put my arms around her as we watched.
I love that she whispered to me that this was her favorite tradition. She can’t see the fireworks any more. Nor the sunsets she adores. But she can feel the big booms going off in the sky and she can hear the patriotic music. There was a feeling in the air, and I think Lucy has developed such a good sense to recognize it.
It was that feeling comes when you’re still enough to notice, and because of her, I felt it too, wrapped up there with so many people I love.
Thinking about them and also about our country. One that I’ve been thinking about so much lately due to my lesson and also world events. There is so much good in this country of ours. There is so much we need to stand up against with our freedom and moral agency as well. And isn’t it so beautiful that we can? So grateful for our Founding Fathers who put so much work into creating a nation that is based on freedom and sacrifice and celebrating differences and progress.
May we keep finding it and fighting for it as we magnify and send ripple effects of all that good in every way we can.
What a great reunion. You could tell by everyone’s faces that it was pure joy.
Shawni!
Loved this.
Can you give me some thoughts on teenagers. Me and my husband don’t quite agree.
Our daughter recently moved to Utah from out of state and I think it’s been a culture shock. Her older car, is definitely old, but all of a sudden she’s asking for help ( Loan that she can’t afford any time soon) from us to buy her a much newer fancier car. All her roommates have very nice cars and parents who pay for them and school rent. Is this the norm in Utah. I’d love anyone to give their thoughts!
This is such a great question, Mandy! One I’d love to ask a larger audience, maybe we should put it out on Instagram to see what advice other parents have to offer. But here’s my take:
I don’t think there’s really a Utah “norm” because kids come from all different places with different upbringings. If you look close you’ll find all kinds of kids. But having said that I agree that there is an interesting thing at BYU that I noticed more this time when I was moving Lucy in for summer school (more about her move-in here: https://71toes.com/lucy-byu-summer-school/). I was amazed at how many kids were incredibly put-together. There are a lot of beautiful, put-together AND very kind students there! Maybe I noticed it more this time around with Lucy since Lucy has such a different style?
Anyway, that’s got to feel intimidating for kids whether they are also “put-together” on the outside or not in their own mind. There’s so much comparison at this age which is just human nature. I do think this is SUCH an important time for parents to help their college-age child reinforce their own self-worth. Maybe your daughter is feeling a bit less-than because those around her seem to have “shinier” things. I know this is much easier said than done, but maybe she needs a little bit of reinforcement to be reminded how great she is.
This could be done in several ways:
–words of affirmation: https://71toes.com/talents/ (this is an AWESOME thing to put some pep in your child’s step, even if they’re an adult, but in the end, that confidence needs to come from the inside)
–a patriarchal blessing (if you’re a member of our faith) could be a great way to reinforce all that kids are good at. We have done this countless times
–a reminder about savings and money (avoiding a loan that can’t be afforded at all costs): https://71toes.com/a-money-system-that-works/
–if you want to put some humor with it and keep it light-hearted this could be funny to share: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3ZJKN_5M44
–a little five-facet review with your husband (or someone else who loves your daughter) to figure out how to approach this tricky situation specifically for her: https://71toes.com/five-facet-review/
–another little story about helping kids build confidence: https://71toes.com/confidence/
–I also think there’s a lot in this post to help reinforce that it’s MORE THAN OK to establish boundaries and say no even when kids really want things: https://71toes.com/boundaries-in-the-midst-of-a-coddling-world/
That especially works when kids feel part of something bigger than themselves. I think it’s so important to outline in detail what you will pay for as parents when kids go to college and what you expect your child to be responsible for. Every family will come up with different thoughts on this depending on where they’re coming from and also depending on the child (I know this from experience!), how the parents were raised (clinging to the good and wanting to change what didn’t work for them).
Setting up expectations is such a HUGE part of parenting and sometimes gets skipped over, especially in the college adjustment phase. I’m speaking from experience here because we’re STILL trying to figure this out. It’s ok to have lots of different versions of how things will work, we’re all just learning as we go. But to have open communication is so important!!
https://71toes.com/expectations-in-relationships/
Whoa I guess I had a lot to say about this! Thanks for making me think! I’d love to know further thoughts!
XOXO
Oh yes! I’m always shocked when I go to Utah, I’m like what happened to poor starving students? Lol they pull up in their Audi, BMW, new VW, and the girls are all so put together. With hair extensions, nails, fake tans and such. I 💯 think our generation of parents have completely done this to them. They expect to have at 22 what we have in our50s!!
I feel like our generation also paid for much on our own, school, clothes, cars etc. I know Shawni you talked about this a lot when your kids were growing up, but in reality do you you think you do way more than your parents did for you? Paid education, paid world travel, I’m sure you paid it with their cars. Do you think kids nowadays are … well entitled?
Jenna, what you said reminded me of this article my brother sent our family group text recently… an op ed from the Wall Street Journal: https://www.wsj.com/opinion/the-selfie-generation-is-the-baby-boomers-mistake-4b75d1d1?eafs_enabled=false
Thank you for sharing these ideas. These have come just at the right time for my teens and I. I can see self-doubt creeping in and am trying so hard to build up the confidence and self-worth in my 16 and 12 year old. Thank you. Beautiful photos!
Ah Mandy you scare me a little! We’ve got a son about to head up to BYU next winter. I am planning to send him without a car. It makes me wonder if he will feel he’s at a disadvantage. But you know, for our family, I think it’s the right thing to do. He’s a good kid, loves people, and he’s super smart. He’ll figure things out. There is free transportation for students up there. And if he needs a car for the following fall semester, he’ll work really hard this summer, I guess!
As a side note, I think it depends on which apartments they live in also. But maybe everyone is well put together now days. I may be in for a shock – ha!
Shawni has such a beautiful family, and the pictures of events like this are gorgeous. It takes some money to do things like this usually, but it is also where you put your priorities. It might makes us feel like “Whoa! Look at all this! What am I doing with my life?” But I see this and remind myself to splurge in the right places (I ‘m frugal to the core) like doing things that will help create fun family memories.
Hi Mandy! I understand your feelings. My daughter will be a junior at BYU Provo, and she doesn’t have a car. But she is very confident getting around on her own. There is a great bus system in Provo that takes you so many places. I’ll often get a text or call from her and she’ll tell me where she had gone and I’ll ask how she got there and she’ll tell me she took the bus. A lot of students do it too. She lived in France for a semester and learned how to navigate the city and LOVED it and it gave her confidence to do things on her own. Despite the self-induced and sometimes other-induced pressure (my son’s friends can’t for the life of them figure out why he doesn’t have his own car at 16 and has to use his dad’s), they are still very put-together, confident kids, who know what it’s like to do without, and also know what it’s like to want things, but still get a lot and are sometimes overindulged. It is hard to navigate the teen and young adult world sometimes!! And kids do compare themselves, which is a little heart-wrenching for us as parents, but I’m grateful that their worth does not revolve around things that are dispensible. We’ve told our kids that we’ll help them if they want to earn money to buy cars. Through time, they’ve felt like they can do without and save up their money for other things and get that in time. I haven’t heard my daughter complain about it. I have heard my son. He recently though is content with his decision to wait and get a car after he returns from a church mission in future years. We are happy to support them in their dreams. My dad always used to remind us to build foundations under our castles. I always loved that solid reminder that things take time and work. Grateful for the dynamics of this world that teach us these things, & tricky sometimes to navigate too!! I empathize with you!
Another thought to my previous response to you, Mandy… we do not pay rent or tuition for my daughter for school. She received scholarships and has paid for most of her education and rent. She worked hard last summer and a really great job, and made the extra money she needed to supplement her life after the scholarships were paid. This spring, she was working and taking classes for spring term, so not making as much money. And this summer, she still has the part time job, but is not taking classes. She’s been looking for a second job she could do that might help her increase her earnings and experience these next six weeks before Fall starts. We have helped fill in sometimes if she needs it, but she’s expected to pay what she can, and she does pretty well. When we’ve helped, it’s been minimal. One of her good friends has no financial help from her parents, but brought one of the family cars to school that her and her sister had shared in high school. She pays for everything she needs. I think it’s true that communicating expectations, boundaries, and also sharing your own encouragement and compassion/sacrifice as a parent, helps create a bond and independence in your child that helps their confidence and growth for years to come. I don’t feel like she misses out and neither does she. She recognizes every situation is differerent and I think the planning and talking about it helps.
I know you know this…and that’s what I love about your blog…you are sooooo blessed with your amazing family and friendships ❤️ Wow. Just wow.
Thank you Janelle, I agree, we are so lucky to have all these relationships I never want to take for granted!
XOXO
I think it is sad people have to reign in their enthusiasm for America. It is freaking awesome here.
Unless you’re a recent immigrant, or any ethnicity other than White, or a woman who’s worried about a high-risk pregnancy, or lucky enough to stand in line for hours at a soup kitchen because they’re one of the millions of Americans who lives in a food desert, or someone whose kid was just sent to die in a pointless war in Iran, or you got gunned down at a protest because your city is under siege by a paramilitary organization and you tried to help someone who fell in the snow, or…
Then you might feel that your enthusiasm for America has been reined in, yeah. Unfortunately.
Actual recent immigrants like the place. Or they would not have left where they came from or picked a different place to be.
Try living somewhere else. The first thing you will do is check for visa requirements before you leave. The first thing you will notice is they will not treat you like an immigrant they will treat you like a foreign national. And you will be pleased cause the U.S. will have a role in getting you home should you be arrested for reporting a SA or arrested for failing to cover your head or find they won’t let you homeschool or hear the sirens cause an attack in incoming or any number of things you take for granted while moaning how uncivilized this place is.
Guess I thought a country with such beautiful, inspiring ideals, which I was raised to believe in and love, a country with such prosperity and good-hearted people, could do a little better than, as you point out, offering more freedom than some of the most oppressive regimes on earth.
As to the ways that we treat “foreign nationals” in this country, I think you are rather misinformed about the absolutely unChristian, appalling, heartbreaking conditions people are enduring, in prisons funded by our tax money. Maybe you’ll say that the network of warehouses run by for-profit prison companies are still better than Saudi prisons, or El Salvadoran prisons, or prisons in the Congo. I consider it patriotic to say that the USA can aspire to much better than “not as bad” as those places.
I also consider it patriotic to acknowledge that there are many some legitimate reasons to critique my own country. I never moaned about “how uncivilized this place is.” I hope that, with effort from everyone, the USA will fully live up to its great potential. It can’t do that if we ignore the many ways that it still fails to do so, just because other places are, in some ways, worse. You understand the difference, right?
I’m a black woman and I absolutely love this country. My mom’s side are from Jamaica, and this country has helped us so much. We have opportunity here. Opportunity to succeed and do great things. My grandma came here in the late 60’s making $40 an hour. And I, her grand daughter, was able to become a doctor, but now chose to be a stay at home wife of 5 kids after 19 yearsof practice. Could this have happened anywhere else? Maybe, but I’m glad I was born and raised here and appreciate all that God has blessed me with, even the trials.
Happy 250th USA.
Thank you for sharing this story. I love to hear stories of those who do the “impossible” as they sacrifice to make things happen and create ripple effects that lift the next generations to come. Such a beautiful thing!
XOXO
Meant $40 a week
Amen! Love this! This is how my mother feels too… SO SO grateful to be here. Sometimes on the news we see a jaded view that is not all-encompassing of what is true… we don’t get to hear about that endless gratitude many feel to be in this amazing place. We are so blessed! Thank you for sharing your light and gratitude. It is not a perfect place, but it is truly a place we can appreciate and work to continue to preserve as a place of freedom and growth. It makes a difference and will continue to make a difference in this world.
Unless you’re a recent immigrant, or any ethnicity other than White, or a woman who’s worried about a high-risk pregnancy, or lucky enough to stand in line for hours at a soup kitchen because you’re one of the millions of Americans who lives in a food desert, or someone whose kid was just sent to die in a pointless war in Iran, or you got gunned down at a protest because your city is under siege by a paramilitary organization and you tried to help someone who fell in the snow, or…
Then you might feel that your enthusiasm for America has been reined in, yeah. Unfortunately.
You are truly blessed. You have such amazing friends and family, and your kids got to grow up with them. That’s the one thing my husband and I are lacking, a good group of friends to enjoy life with. It seems like everyone is in their own world and always so busy to do things with people anymore. It’s good to see that there are intentiona people out there in the world still enjoying family and friendship.
I do feel so lucky to have these friendships especially in such a fast-paced world where there is increasingly more disconnection. But there are so many people looking for friends and I pray you (and I) will continue to seek and find them. And nurture them. Because human connection is such an incredibly important part of life. Sending you so much love as you seek to find and nurture those friendships.
XOXO
My mom is an immigrant from Canada. We just had a family reunion (ironically planned over the 4th but not intentionally!… we celebrated both Canada Day (July 1) and 4th of July up there… I LOVED the reunion. I lived in post-soviet Ukraine in the decade after it got out from under it’s oppression… it was truly tough for them to come out from under it. We are SO LUCKY to live here, we have NO idea. My grandmother (Canadian – they have socialist medicine up there) was in her 80’s and had a small benign carcinoma in her leg. It could have been operated on and removed immediately. Instead, she had to wait EIGHT MONTHS to have it removed. At that time, it was a giant tumor, and her leg was almost amputated. She limped the rest of her life due to the muscle they had to remove with the giant tumor. When I was up there with my cousins for this reunion, they said it’s really terrible what is happening up there. They said they don’t go to the doctor. There are no specialists. You got to the urgent care or emergency room, you don’t get in all day, so they don’t go. They have to wait months and months and months for treatment and the standard of care is diminished. My cousin talked to me a long time about how a law was just passed in Canada that can deem the bible as hate speech and ban it and arrest people for reading it in public. He also posted about groceries he bought (produce) for $63 at a wholesale place. These were miniscule amounts that would cost us $25. People in his circle were oohing and aaahing that he got so much for $63 and one person said that amount in a regular grocery store would be four times that. While there, I went to a grocery store to pick up some of our favorite jujubes and candy bars that they sell in Canada. No one was in the store, and many of the shelves were empty. There was one owner or manager inside who welcomed us. We starte going in to look down the aisle. The manager said, “Don’t forget to check the expiry dates.” I said, “Why? Because some of the food is expired?” He said, “uh huh.” We brought some of our candy bars to the check out. We were checking the dates. One expired the month before. I brought it to his attention. He said, “Oh well, that’s the best bought by date” and then scanned it for me and we bought it. These are the effects of trickling in socialism…. THIS IS IN CANADA, PEOPLE. Our Sister Nation. Where my mom is from… I have a friend who lives here who said she went home to Canada and was sending an article to her family to inform them of some of the things they need to be aware of that are happening in Canada right now, and she received a notice, IN HER EMAIL, that the article was not allowed to be sent and was against the government regulations, and therefore was intercepted and not sent. Can you believe that?!!!! We have NO idea how much we need to be mindful of and watchful and fight to preserve what we SO OFTEN AND EASILY take for granted here. It is worth preserving. We can care for those in need, and still promote our freedoms. We can embrace immigrants and obey the rule of law. We can find solutions that don’t overregulate our freedoms. We need to be careful and wary not to embrace socialism and communism… it will dial down America’s quality of life, for all, SO FAST. Prayers for our country. We need them. Praying for rain and righteousness too. So grateful for immigrants, and for this beautiful place we call home. God bless the USA. I am currently reading “The Making of America,” by W. Cleon Skousen and have been grateful to see how much sacrifice went into the founding of our nation and its principles. It is worth preserving and defending for generations to come and can be done so peacefully.
I loved your post here and all the joy on everyone’s faces!! That must have taken some mega planning to get that many people together in one hotel!!! I have a few questions: Do you have your adult children pay their way to come to these things? Or do you get them there? I noticed they all got together for Memorial Day too and I know you have the 80/20 savings rule. Do they set aside funds for vacations like this or do you do that for the grown kids? Thinking ahead for navigating that in the coming future. Also wondering if all of your children are still active in the church or not, and how you navigate some going or not if that is the case at all. Thanks!