My beautiful niece Ava got married last weekend. It was such a happy day.
There is just something so very special about two people finding each other. And choosing each other. So so happy for this great couple. And their families too.
This niece is one of Claire’s best friends. They have grown up together their whole lives and lived together up at college.
And that’s where they expanded and gathered all these amazing women as best friends.
SO….wedding weekend meant we got to have all these girls in town since they were the bridesmaids:
…staying at our house.
They are so full of joy and kindness and light. Love them so much.
They spent that first morning swimming and hanging and making a pretty awesome charcuterie board with all the stuff I had gathered.
We also got to hang with some of Dave’s family (on the right above).
Also, Grace came too. She’s dear friends with Ava as well.
So Dave and I got to have both our middle girls for a few days, which was a little piece of heaven.
The Wedding Dinner
We gathered the night before the wedding to toast to the bride and groom.
There is something just so happy about gathering together with all of Dave’s family who was able to make it. Love them and what amazing cheerleaders they are for each other.
Love these cute same-age cousins.
…well, Elias is one year younger but that seems to vanish when you graduate from high school.
Wedding Morning
I wish I could post the video of these girls greeting the bride the wedding morning. (I’ll post it on Instagram today.) It was so cute. They had “Going to the chapel and I’m Going to get Married” on full blast when she came in and had a hug line going.
So much good hype.
Then there was yoga and pickleball in the back yard.
They all happened to bring black workout clothes, not planned.
Then it was time to head to the temple.
The Wedding
The part of Dave’s family who could make it:
The part of our family there:
The Dancing Celebration Reception
Started out slow and beautiful:
…and got ramped up!
I love how Claire was such a good hype girl getting all the Pothiers rounded up to get on that dance floor. They are the best dancers and know how to let loose out there. Here’s Claire luring Nana and Papa to join in:
It was a good night.
Wedding Aftermath
We had about 56 trips to and from the airport to get the girls here and drop them back off (I exaggerate, of course, but there were lots of comings and goings). Loved the talking time, the games, the meals, the connection.
With cousins that last night too.
It felt good to have the house filled up again.
And the cherry on top? I got to sit not only with Dave at church (since he was recently released from the bishopric), but Claire and a couple extra girls who were still in town too.
Happy days right there.
Happy, happy wedding to my sweet niece and her new husband!
Hi Shawni
I’d love to know a bit about what being an LDS bridesmaid means during the wedding itself if you don’t mind sharing? I’m not LDS but years of reading LDS blogs means I feel like I’ve got my head in the game a bit but this is something I don’t think I’ve seen talked about. I’m used to British, non-LDS weddings where bridesmaids walk down the aisle before (these days) or after (more traditionally) the bride. They then basically chill until following the bride out of church/the ceremony unless they have another role, such as being a legal witness or giving a poem or reading. As far as I understand, temple weddings don’t really have a procession? Does a wedding involve doing the rest of the temple ceremony first on the day (which I guess all the bridesmaids could do with the bride??) or do you go straight to the sealing? And I think sealing rooms are quite small – do all the bridesmaids get to go in? If not, what do they do?
I know what happens in the temple is private so I hope this comment doesn’t cross any boundaries, and I hope you can see from my comments in the past that I am asking in good faith.
Hi Mariana! This video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gA6aTiMDYho) might help answer some of your questions but I’ll try to answer some of them below too. I’m an active member of the church, and I didn’t find your questions to be crossing boundaries at all—you’re just curious!
They show a pretty big sealing room in the video, which is pretty normal to find in most temples. If a temple is big enough to have the space for it, then there will usually be a couple really large sealing rooms, medium, and small sealing rooms too. So when you first call to schedule the ceremony, they’ll ask you what size of room you need and you work out date, time, which room, etc based on availability and how many people you expect to attend the sealing ceremony. If someone a a truly huge group, then sometimes people will even squeeze a little and someone might share their seat or stand to fit the last couple people in. Or sometimes a couple will specifically want to keep their sealing more intimate and choose a smaller room and smaller invite list for the ceremony and then invite more people to the reception etc—just like people sometimes do in non-temple weddings! So whether or not bridesmaids attend the sealing depends on the situation—it’s totally normal for them to attend the sealing, but it’s also not weird if they don’t all go (for example, a bridesmaid who is not a member of the Church and can’t attend the temple sealing would just rejoin the rest of the wedding party when they came out of the temple).
Anyone who is not attending the sealing (including children, nonmembers, photographer, or even someone who is a member and close to the couple but wasn’t able to be invited to the sealing due to space limitations or something like that) has a few options for where to wait. Temples have a waiting room area inside where anyone is allowed to sit and wait. They are typically beautiful with flowers, etc, and have usually have some couches, chairs, bathroom, water fountain, etc. Some (but not most) temples have visitors’ centers next door, which is another great place to wait/explore. But when the weather is good and if you’re in an area where there are surrounding gardens on the temple grounds (this is pretty much always the case unless it’s a temple in the middle of a huge, super populated city like New York), then people often enjoy waiting outside because the temple grounds are so beautiful. The landscaping and gardens (flowers, fountains, etc) are always very well cared for and a beautiful place to stroll around (or sit—there are usually benches, etc) while you wait. The sealing ceremony is not long, so it’s often easier to just wait nearby (in the waiting room, in the gardens, etc.) than to leave and come back or something like that.
You’re correct that bridesmaids don’t play a role in the ceremony and that there isn’t a procession. The bride and groom both kneel at the alter that you see in the video or pictures, but besides the sealer who is marrying the couple, everyone else is simply just there to watch—there’s no walking down the aisle or anything. Often it is parents who will be chosen by the couple to be the official witnesses (to sign the marriage certificate etc), but it doesn’t have to be parents; that’s just a common choice. In the United States, temple marriages are legally recognized so you don’t have to do any other ceremony different from the sealing. But in countries or places where temple marriages are not legally recognized, authorized Church leaders or others can perform civil marriages that are then followed by a temple sealing. This pattern may also be followed when a temple marriage could cause parents or immediate family members to feel excluded because they cannot attend the temple ceremony.
Hopefully that helps!
I have been a bridesmaid 8 times. My first two were for Mormon temple weddings before I was able to go into the temple, so I waited outside like Rebekah described. Then I was a bridesmaid six times for non-Mormon weddings.
The wedding party does not play a role in the official temple ceremony, like Rebekah explained. It’s more of a declaration of best-friendship than a specific role with explicit responsibilities.
When I was a bridesmaid for temple weddings my job was to make life as easy for the bride as possible. I babysat little nieces and nephews so their parents could go into the sealing ceremony. I kept track of flowers and got the dance party started at the reception. The two receptions I went to didn’t have wedding planners (LDS receptions are often more casual affairs than other weddings I’ve been to), so the bridesmaids helped out a lot with logistics and answering questions from guests. We wore matching dresses and we took a ton of pictures with the wedding party. We did everything we could to shower our friend with love!
A few things that surprised me about being a bridesmaid for a non-LDS wedding:
– the expectation to attend an expensive destination bachelorette party. (I also traveled for bridal showers if I was a Maid of Honor)
– bridesmaid gifts!! I got some really nice stuff from my brides and was shocked the first few times
– the all-day time commitment. In a temple wedding you might get ready together, but it’s also common for everyone to just meet at the temple, already dressed. For non-LDS weddings I often reported to the “get ready” location 3-5 hours before the wedding, and in addition to getting dressed we’d take pictures, make toasts, travel to the wedding together, and chat chat chat. I really enjoyed this prep time together, and would have loved to have it for the temple weddings I attended!
I got married in the temple and decided not to have bridesmaids. Most of the women I would have picked are not members of the church. I knew they would be expecting the non-LDS bridesmaid experience, and that mine would be confusing and likely underwhelming. It was a wonderful day and I do not regret my choice one bit. There’s no real wrong way to do it!
Oh man, I love these great answers from Rebekah and also such good insight from Liz. Thanks so much, you guys! I couldn’t have answered better. I love what you said, Liz, about all the prep time together in the non-LDS weddings. All these girls staying at our house had fun prepping and getting ready together, but not with the bride who was soaking up some family time. I think Liz is so right, any way you do it can be wonderful. So many good ways to get married!
XOXO
Yes because of the nature of the temple wedding( sealing) The bridesmaids may be in attendance at the temple sealing but there is not a procession in or out of the temple like a traditional wedding. Often times bridesmaids are called on to help in pre wedding and reception activities and also pose for pictures. Also some couples have a civil marriage in a church or other venue before they get sealed in the temple so bridesmaids may be part of that as well.
Yes, thank you for this as well! I’ve actually been to quite a few LDS weddings, especially post-covid, where they have traditional ring ceremonies before or after the temple. I love that so much. Probably my favorite wedding was Elle’s where they shared such beautiful vows, and we were all spaced out wearing facemasks with a tiny wedding party on a red mountain in Page, Arizona. Here you go if you want to check that out!
https://71toes.com/the-plan-that-worked-elles-wedding/
They are just for photos and since so many marry young, a way to keep a friend. Some of the bridesmaids and groomsmen won’t even be in the sealing room. And if they do wear something else.
And I see that showing shoulders is now a common practice as is double and triple pierced ears. How the mighty have fallen…. And yes I’m back…did you miss me?
Google new garments. They don’t have sleeves anymore. They have been adapted over time.
JW also changed. You can say hello to a disfellowshipped person. And you can now go to law school.
Do not worry. God is in His heaven. All is right with the world.
Hi KMS! New name I see. Glad you have expanded your religious expertise to include JW as well as LDS. JW’s have always been allowed to go to law school. It’s just frowned on, kinda like the double and triple piercings .
I love the LDS weddings as it seems they focus more on the religious aspect of getting married. I’m not a member of your church, but I feel the cost and expectations have gotten out of control where I live.
Clare’s hair is so pretty and the wedding was so lovely!