A few weeks ago I was asked to teach our fifth-Sunday lesson on the constitution at church. It caught me a bit off guard at first. After all, this is a worldwide church with the majority of its members stretched far and wide, never to set foot in America, so why the constitution? But this lesson was designated just for congregations in the United States. And as I got studying I felt like that lesson plan was divinely inspired. Because when it comes down to it, that constitution of ours is based on the beauty of moral agency. And “one-ness.” To me, that’s what the gospel and life is all about.
You know how sometimes when you accept a calling you feel completely unqualified, and then end up learning more than you bargained for? That’s exactly how I felt. And I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since.
I have so much to say about the constitution, especially with the 4th of July coming up. But for today I want to talk about a theory that keeps circling around in my heart ever since my lesson preparation.
This is what I wrote on the board as an introduction to the lesson.
These things may seem disconnected, and why would I write them on the board together? But I think they are all interconnected so beautifully and work together to help us progress. Help us get closer to each other in a society (the whole premise for the constitution), yet also help us forge a connection with God. Let me give a brief introduction to each.
A Broken Heart and Contrite Spirit
The admonition to have a broken heart and contrite spirit has, for as long as I can remember, been my favorite phrase in all of scriptures. It reminds me of a conversation I had with Grace on her mission. She had had a personal realization that “humility is the answer to everything.” When we are humble, we realize we are not the only ones with an opinion and can better see where people are coming from when we disagree. We trust God more, even in the tough times. When we are humble we are so much more able to learn and progress, because we realize how small we are in the whole scheme of things. And how much beauty comes when we recognize that we are a small part of something so much bigger than ourselves.
I think sometimes having a broken heart and contrite spirit comes from difficult situations. Situations when we are actually broken from what life throws our way, and compelled to have a contrite spirit.
But I think it can come in happy times as well. Times when we connect the dots…the breadcrumbs God leaves us. When we notice His hand in the little things as well as the big things.
I believe we can train ourselves to do this.
And when we do, life is so much more meaningful.
Messiness
Oh I’ve talked about messiness here on the blog for years and years. (Probably most recently when talking about the messy middles and Elder Eyring’s conference talk). Because life is messy, and I’ve learned through the years that the mess, though horribly painful and dark at times, is something life is made of.
Lucy has been a good teacher to me about messiness. She gets frustrated when people only share the parts of their stories after the messiness. The times when life is all wrapped up in a bow and hunky-dorey. Because life is a series of messiness that we get to organize and learn from.
I quoted Rick Warren before in my “fires of motherhood” post, but it deserves to be re-quoted here:
“Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you’re just coming out of one, or you’re getting ready to go into another one. The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort.”
It’s not the wrapping things up with a bow where we grow and progress. Not the finish line of a marathon or the graduate certificate hanging on a wall. It is the process to get there that helps us grow.
That is what we learn from.
That’s where progress comes.
The Strength That Comes from Pushing Against the Boulder
Makes me think of this story one of Claire’s friends told at her farewell years ago about the “unmoved rock.” I still think about that story all the time. In it a man was asked to push against a boulder with all his might, day after day. Frustrated, the man complained that despite his very best efforts he was never able to move that boulder. It was explained that the task was never actually to move the boulder, simply to push against it. Only then did the man realize his transformation. Through the opposition of all the pressure he had put on the boulder, that man had developed muscles and strength beyond what he realized. He was now better adapted to face the next trials that would certainly come along. (Reminds me of my grandma’s impossible quote too!).
I was reminded of this strength to be gained in the process or “the mess” poignantly as I studied the constitution. The lives of those who put that document together were messy. There was a mess of trying to find independence and found a new nation. I mean, look at the messiness of the simple drawing up of the Declaration of Independence:
But that’s where those founding fathers searched for meaning. For things that would resonate with those in that new country they were setting up. The process of discussions, study, and I would bet lots of prayer is what created that document that still holds some of our best outlines for a united society. And certainly made those men see life more clearly in the process.
I see that messiness in our lives every day as well. So much of life is “matter unorganized.” Matter that is messy and we have to try to put some semblance of order together. And we learn so much in the process.
Some examples:
- How do we help a surly teenager learn respect?
- How are we going to wrangle all our ideas and put them together in some semblance for our family reunion we’re in charge of this year?
- Why does Lucy have to have BBS, this genetic syndrome that causes her so much emotional turmoil? (her continual question)
- How do you make sense of your child coming home from a mission earlier than anticipated? (So many friends in the midst of this “messy middle” through the years)
- Where do we find answers to the deep gospel questions we are trying to understand?
- What about dating? How do we find the right match?
- How do we manage health? Physically and mentally? And deal with the health struggles that come along (big and small)?
Of course, this list of “messiness” could go on endlessly and wrap around so many of life’s questions.
There are some messy middles where the “middle” stretches throughout all of life, never to be wrapped up. And what do we do with those? I’m still trying to figure that out.
But I love thinking about all those quandaries that come along as “matter unorganized” that we can grow stronger with when we let God in to help.
Oh it’s not easy. Just being in the “messy middle” of not being able to move my arm from a shoulder injury a couple weeks ago was so miserable. And of course, that doesn’t hold a candle to the other really, really difficult things we hit up against and the people around me are trying to make sense of.
I love this Caitlin Connolly painting so much, and others in the posts linked at the end of this one.
And through it all, even the darkest nights, we learn and grow and become.
Moral Agency
This is what the whole constitution is based on, of course. But as I studied I realized moral agency is the key component for growth amidst the messiness that comes our way. We don’t grow when we don’t make our own decisions.
And there is so much growth in making both good and bad decisions.
We learn and progress from both. We are human beings with human tendencies so sometimes we make terrible decisions. But we have the ability to learn from them and find beauty for ashes. And when we do, we make better decisions as we go.
Of course, then we fail again. Because that’s just how life goes.
But the beauty of life from my viewpoint is that no matter how many times we use poor moral agency there is always and forever endless opportunities to also use that moral agency to make things right.
There is nowhere and nothing we cannot overcome when we rely on God.
The Circle around the Three
See that big circle I drew around these three concepts on that chalk board? That, I believe, is where God shows up. Those are the places where we learn to trust more in our Savior who has given us endless second chances. He is there when we’re stuck in the mire of our own messiness if we’ll only reach out. We are so much more likely to recognize Him when we have broken hearts and contrite spirits. And moral agency, as is presented so beautifully in the constitution, helps us learn that what we do matters. How we can learn to “disagree better” and to give people the benefit of the doubt. Whether we can lean on Him in the hard parts or whether we turn away for a season.
He meets us where we are, and helps us progress through all three of these human experiences.
So, back to the constitution and the Declaration of Independence too. Because I truly believe in this beautiful sentence:
“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.“
These three concepts are all about life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
We have the agency to choose our path in life. To become “one” as God commands us to in the scriptures.
I know I have so much more to say about all of this. These thoughts keep rumbling around in my heart and I love that. Because I think that’s exactly the point: a broken heart, a messy life, and the moral agency to keep choosing God in the middle of it all. That’s the whole thing, isn’t it? That’s life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. And I am so grateful for it.
I’ll leave you with some of my favorite recent listens that you may find interesting on this topic as well.
Podcasts about Trying to See from Other’s Perspectives
- “Torn” with Jeff Strong on Faith Matters
- Disagree Better with Governor Spencer Cox
- How Mattering Can Change Your Life (Oprah Winfrey)
If my parish starting giving instruction on the constitution I would find it quite terrifying.
I missed our 5th Sunday lesson. I was out of town and couldn’t get to a meeting house. I have had a profound love and admiration for our Founding Father’s and what they accomplished. Our faith would not even exist if it weren’t for them. That it one of the things that I love about the Gospel, it fell into place just when it should. The Lord needed a free society to restore his Gospel and until America was founded that didn’t exist, so our Constitution is one miraculous document. Even though we are now a worldwide Church, it all started here, with those exact truth’s you talked about. That is why Ii feel it is so important that we study the issues in our communities and VOTE, we could lose what we have built over 250 years if we are not diligent. Love reading your blog Shawni, I don’t get to travel much and love reading about your family travels, if I could do it over again, I’d try it your way!!!
” The Lord needed a free society to restore his Gospel and until America was founded that didn’t exist,”
Are you saying the Gospel as taught by the Catholic and Protestant churches pre-1776ish wasn’t the proper Gospel?
Exactly Kimberly, after all the apostles had been killed, the priesthood was no longer on the earth, thus there was a great falling away. The Catholic and later the Protestant Churches didn’t acknowledge that however, but that is why the Lord had to restore his original Church and until there was a free nation on the earth that was not possible. The Church was actually restored in 1830, quite a few years after 1776, once it was proven the first free nation in the history of the world was going to stick. I believe the Catholic and Protestant Churches did have some truth, but it had been corrupted over the years and centuries by all the denominations having a different interpretation of the scriptures. If you haven’t already look into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, you should do it, we have covenants and ordinances not to mention Temples that no other Church has, led by modern day Prophets and a quorum of 12 Apostles, just like the Church Jesus established when he was on the earth. The story of the founding of our nation is something special but it takes on even deeper meaning when you realize why it had to happen.
Sounds like a beautiful lesson, and a great way to start a meaningful discussion. I would have loved to be there.
To the comment above, I would say the lesson wasn’t so much about the constitution as about the God given rights that were affirmed in that document, that every person should care about and be grateful for. All religions, and all people to be truthful, should care deeply about moral agency and religious freedom, and rights that come from a higher power than government.
This was so great to read. As I’m dealing with 3 teenage boys and lots of messiness, literallyand emotionally. But do not grow weary in doing good.
Sending love as you wade through the messiness!
xoxo
Were all wards in USA told to teach on that topic, very interesting?
I sometimes feel envious of your life. I guess we don’t see the messiness in the blog much. You may talk of it with Lucy, and that is hard, and she does amazingly with parents encouraging her. But it seems like your older kids right now are not going through anything messy. We see world travel, and school and love, weekends away constantly and laughing. Most people are trying to afford groceries, dealing with kids leaving or wanting to leave the church, marriages falling apart. So how do you as a family who thrives really know about true messiness? That isn’t a judgment more or a real world thought.
I love this question Jackie, and your honest curiosity as well as real world reminder. We are not in the midst of some of the messiness you are referring to, but messiness comes in so many different avenues, and I do pour out my heart to God grappling with the varieties of messiness our family comes up against.
Zooming out to a bigger view, there is messiness to be grappled with in things as simple as how to organize the day when you wake up. And that is worthy to put effort into, finding rituals and routines that work help organize and prioritize.
AND there is much more complicated messiness surrounding things like world hunger, mental illness, marriages falling apart, loneliness, faith crises, strapped finances, death. Oh there is just so much going on in the world. And I’ve realized as I’ve wrestled with the things heavy on my heart as well as intertwining my life with people in all sorts of different stages/forms of messiness, and also let them into my own, that there is common ground: it is all overwhelming on different levels and in different ways. I believe we have power to connect with God to figure it out. And in that process, we build learning steps along the way. Building muscles that will help us with the next “impossible” mess.
Sending you so much love as you grapple with your own brand of messiness.
XOXO
“[T]oo often secular elites and government officials focus so much on certain
favored identities—such as race, ethnicity, sex, sexual orientation, and gender
identity—that they miss the importance of religion as a profound source of
identity. Too often they see religion and religious faith—especially traditional
Christian faith—as something akin to a quirky private belief or hobby … that faith
is really just one more personal preference, like deciding whether to become a
Yankees fan [or that] one’s religious identity is just an ordinary choice. I think this
is profoundly mistaken. For many believers, religion is simply not something one
can put on or remove like a favorite T-shirt. Dispelling this myth is key to greater
understanding between religious and nonreligious people.”
“I believe that no democratic government that claims to value personal dignity and
human rights can ignore the moral imperative to respect the fundamental right to
freely, openly, and peacefully exercise one’s religion—to be who one truly is, faith
and all, in the private and public spaces where people live out their lives. I believe
religious identity deserves to be taken at least as seriously—and that it should be
afforded at least as much protection and accommodation—as other forms of
identity that now attract far more attention and sympathy. It is that essential.”
“Yes, there are challenging situations to be worked out … We cannot escape what Elder Lance
B. Wickman … has called “the hard work of citizenship”— the work of finding common ground
and generous, even loving, accommodations for those whose beliefs, personal needs, and lives
are different than our own. …”
“But I believe that religious and secular Americans of good will … have big enough hearts, broad
enough minds, and strong enough wills to forge the hard compromises that will allow all of us,
whatever our identities, to live together in dignity, respect, and peace. It is to that task that we
must commit ourselves for the good of all.”
– Elder L. Whitney Clayton, BYU Religious Freedom Annual Review, Wednesday, June 20, 2018.