A while back Abby asked me what my favorite parenting books were.
I searched the blog to find my list to send her. And what do you know…I realized I never shared my list of tried-and-true parenting books. You know, the ones that I’ve read over and over again until they’re dog-eared, or the ones that particular parts still to this very day still ring through my heart.
Oh, I’ve talked about them all before here on the blog, you can bet on that. I even have a photo of me reading one of my favorites here:
It’s even featured in my blog categories for crying out loud:
Check out those categories up at the top, by the way, I put some descriptions in them and I’m curious if they help navigate.
Anyway, Abby’s question made me realize I need a list all in one place.
Because parenting books are golden.
There is something so comforting when you read a book that speaks right to your heart when you’re in the very middle of the “trenches.”
When I was raising my kids I always had a stack of parenting books sitting on my nightstand. I know, there’s all kinds of other things now. Substack and Instagram and even TiKTok spill out some pearls of wisdom.
But do I sound old fashioned when I say there’s nothing like a real, live book? One you can underline and turn the pages of. One you can keep coming back to like a good friend.
These ones are the parenting books that still, after all those years, fill up my motherhood heart.
How to Talk so Kids Will Listen & Listen so Kids Will Talk
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, and Listen so Kids Will Talk is a book that I still think about on the regular.
Just the other day Lucy was telling me something or other on the phone. As I responded with short answers that encouraged her to keep talking, I had the cartoons with little bubbles of what to say in conversations from this book popped up in my head. This book has been transformative as to how I talk to my kids and really try to listen. Oh I can attest I sure still have a lot of work to do, and my kids will whole heartedly agree. But I love that the words and cartoons still whisper to me as I work to create positive communication.
The Parenting Breakthrough
I read The Parenting Breakthrough in the midst of trying desperately to teach my kids how to work. I LOVE the no-nonsense way the author spills out wisdom about how early kids can learn to do household tasks. I didn’t even think about having my two-year-old make their own sandwich, but you know what? They can do it? This is the book that gave me the idea that you can “certify” kids to do things like cleaning the toilet, etc. Even give them a certificate for it and let them teach their siblings.
Genius.
She also has all kinds of money and manners and service ideas, as well as ideas to help kids in their own spiritual development.
1, 2, 3 Magic
Ok, 1, 2, 3 Magic is a super simple book that I think I read somehow on xeroxed papers years and years ago. But it was magic indeed. It was formative with helping my kids understand expectations.
According to Amazon, since it outlines it better than I can, this book helps:
- Build a solid foundation for being a confident parent
- Manage testing and manipulation to avoid derailing your efforts
- Encourage good behavior
- Strengthen your relationship with your child
- Establish positive bedtime, dinnertime, homework, and wake-up routines
I Didn’t Plan to Be a Witch
Of course, ALL of my parents parenting books are my favorites. They have more parenting knowledge in their pinky fingers than most other people I know. But I have to say I Didn’t Plan to Be a Witch is my favorite.
It’s written by my mother who has this uncanny knack to make you feel like she’s RIGHT THERE in the trenches with you. She takes herself so lightly and offers incredible encouragement. She helps you realize you’re not the only one holding on by your fingernails. Oh I love her and I LOVE this book.
Some of the Many Posts Where I Refer back to these books:
- How to Foster Deeper Relationships with Your Family
- The Early Years – I do talk a little about parenting books in this post, all about life with my little kids
- Age-Specific Jobs for Kids
- How to Help Kids Be Productive in the Summertime – and of course in the wintertime too!
Thanks for sharing, Shawni! I always your ideas and opinions on these sort of things. I LOVED your moms book and try to read it every May so I feel better about my feeble mothering efforts by Mother’s Day. It always makes me laugh and feel like maybe I am doing an ok job and maybe that’s good enough.
Did you use all these books until the kids left the house or did you have some favorite teen books? Maybe it’s just my house, but teens are a whole new ball of wax. The meltdowns, defiance, laziness, inability to influence, teach or persuade and guide them has gone out the door. I long for a toddler meltdown these days.
Also, I can’t see the new categories at the top of the screen but maybe it’s something I’m doing wrong on my end?
Hope you have a great week!
Oh man, so sorry I’m so late responding! If you click on the categories at the top of the blog do you see any words that come up? Let me know because I want to be sure I’m doing this right!
I’m trying to think of a list of good teenage parenting books. Of course, my favorites would be Teaching your Children Values and The Entitlement Trap by my parents…so good. I LOVE Brooke Romney’s Modern Manners books for teenagers. I loved Untangled by Lisa Damour (“guiding girls through the seven transitions into adulthood”): https://amzn.to/3IbJjkx. Also, How to Talk so Kids Will Listen is SO GOOD for teenagers too. As well as the Parenting Breakthrough. And honestly, one of my favorite books for raising teenagers may sound strange, but it’s “A Tree Grows in Brooklyn.” I just learned so much about parenting teens in that one and would love to read it again. It’s not a parenting book, just a novel, but I remember it being transformative to my thinking when I had teenagers: https://amzn.to/4mxSGch
I write more about what I learned from that one here: https://71toes.com/what-i-learned-from-tree-grows-in/
I’ll have to do a raising teenagers parenting book list soon!
Good luck with those teenagers, it sounds like you’re in the thick of it and my heart goes out to you. Yes I remember those days longing for a toddler meltdown rather than looking in the eyes of those defiant teens! Remember letting those teenagers fail is one of your best superpowers. We live in an age where we coddle teenagers and do so much for them and I’m learning more poignantly than ever with Lucy that swooping in to “save the day” is really hindering our kids. Not sure if that helps but I hope maybe a little! Sending you lots of love!
XOXO
I’m late to this conversation, but I’m a high school librarian (and a mom to a young kid) and Lisa Damour’s books about teenagers are great at helping parents understand why teens do what they do and how to get through to them. I’ve also met her and she is lovely!
Oh, and How to Raise an Adult is good for a thoughtful approach to life skills for older kids.
A quick note for Abby — there is a little kid version of How to Talk so Kids Will Listen (etc) and it is GREAT for the toddler and preschool phase! It helped us out so much.
Oh good to know, Thank you so much Christine!
xoxo
For your readers with grown kids, Doing Life With Your Adult Children by Jim Burns is a great read. 🙂
Thank you for this recommendation, I’ll have to look it up!!
xoxo