During this week and a half in California, I had the chance to gather with three different circles of women who have shaped my life in different ways:
- Three Generations of Women – time with my mom, sisters, and our daughters
- The Sisters I Married Into – gathering with my mother-in-law and sisters-in-law
- Friendships That Hold Across Decades – time with the high school friends who have walked through life with me
This post is the third gathering.
These are “chosen sisters” who have been such an integral part of my life for so long. We have been together through thick and thin, some of us since elementary school.
Being Known Without Explaining
It’s interesting to think about how much we’ve all grown and branched out since those high school days so long ago. Yet somehow we are still from the same “trunk.”
These women knew me when I was too shy to talk about boys I dated. They saw the red splotches creep up my neck when I was embarrassed. They remember versions of me that I honestly don’t even remember. They know me from what sometimes feels like a whole past lifetime.
Why These Friendships Still Matter in Midlife
And yet these friendships still matter so much. Maybe even more now.
There is something powerful about relationships that stretch across decades — friendships where you can pick up right where you left off, even if years have passed.
Over the years I’ve written about some of these friendships here on the blog — from our trip to Hawaii , to the time we gathered in the desert, another mini reunion, to all kinds of reflections I’ve shared about long friendships.
And we can build from where we are in our own corners of life when we come together.
What We Did While We Were Together
This group grew gradually. Sara and Marie were the first to arrive, Maureen joined us the next morning.
That evening we picked up Sammy on the dock en route to dinner:
It was my third dinner at Mama D’s in a week and a half which was a bit embarrassing when they recognized me. Ha! But I can’t turn down those spinach raviolis:)
Angel met us at dinner. And then we were up to six back for talk, talk, talking at night.
The next morning, when I got back from my ritual solo morning walk, Sarah had arrived fresh from Japan.
And our crew for the gathering this time around was complete. Oh we sure missed those who couldn’t make it, but sure enjoyed this group.
Things I Want to Remember
Exploring Newport Together
We biked everywhere — to food, to beaches, through neighborhoods filled with everything from tiny cottages to sprawling homes.
One afternoon we rode the ferry over to Balboa Island, wandering the streets before stopping for Balboa Bars (because that’s basically required in Newport, right?).
I loved having time to simply sit on the beach together, talking about everything under the sun. There is something about being outside near the ocean that opens conversations.
The Tide Pools at Little Corona del Mar
I took these friends to the tide pools at Little Corona del Mar where my sisters and I had spent the final night of our gathering.
Oh man, I love this spot — especially at sunset.
I want to remember the almost physical haze of golden light hovering around all of us as we stood there taking in that gorgeous view.
It looked like we weren’t the only ones who love that spot.
Maureen is an incredible photographer, and captured the beautiful pictures you see below.
Some of my favorite memories are the little ones:
• tacos, guacamole, and churros crowded around a tiny table at The Taco Stand
• sitting together at church, lifelong friends stretched across the same pew “Leaning into Jesus, rather than leaning on Him”
• Sarah, true to form, organizing a competitive “game” in a triangle park on the peninsula
• long bike rides through sunlit streets
Our Minivan
We also need to take a moment to honor the minivan I rented from Turo.
We had some pretty funny stories from driving around in that thing I have to say. Enough funny stories that our group text was re-named “Shawni’s Mini Van” by the end. It was old and a bit stinky and the doors got stuck. But it got us from place to place in one piece so that’s good:)
I sure love these women!
And love that we got to make more memories to add to the decades we already have.
The Last Night
Maureen and I were the last ones standing after we dropped everyone else at the airport.
We had one extra night together, which felt special since we’ve known each other longer than almost anyone else in my life.
She is one of those “adopted sisters” in my family who actually traveled with them to Romania to work at an orphanage together right smack-dab in the middle of while I was serving as a missionary there.
We took in the last of the glimmering sunset…
And she joined in with my family for our “fortnightly” call.
I love my family. And Mo.
Maureen joined me for my ritual walk through the morning sun.
All the way to the Bellevue pathway with flowers spilling out of every yard onto the red sidewalk between them.
What These Gatherings Reminded Me
I left all this gathering business with gratitude clinging to my bones, the heft of it so big. How on earth did I get so lucky to have all these women in my life? So grateful for their goodness that has molded, healed, built and unconditionally loved me for all these years. And for the blessing of having a spot to host and share love with them.
I had a special dinner with Dave when I got home talk, talk, talking to catch up on the wide worlds that separated us for two weeks. I love him.
Also, I got to greet my dog prancing in happiness when I got home…and my RANUNCULUS are blooming!
WOOHOO!
I love that those blooms were kind of symbolic. I worked so hard to plant and grow them, which makes the blooms such a payday. Just like these gatherings were the blooms of friendships that grow after years of cultivating..
Yes, women friendships are powerful.
Looking back on these three gatherings, I realize how rare and sacred it is to sit inside different circles of women — each one shaping, strengthening, and reminding me who I am.
And maybe that’s one of the quiet gifts of getting older. We begin to see more clearly the women who have held us along the way — the ones we were born to, the ones we married into, and the ones we chose somewhere along the path. Different circles, different histories, but somehow all part of the same weaving. And when we take the time to gather, to sit together and really listen, we remember how much we belong to each other.
WOW! These pictures and these adventures are glorious! What great fun to dive deep with old friends! Love it! Love you!