The other day I came across some questions/phrases to love better. It’s amazing what one little phrase can do to mend or build a relationship! And I figure it’s a good time to share on Valentine’s Day!

But first, I think it’s interesting to note that our Valentine’s Days have gone from stuff like this:

To this one remaining kid:

Lucy ready for Valentine's breakfast

But the sentiment is still the same: LOVE.

How great to have a day to bask in love!

Of course, Dave is forever and always my number one:

Shawni kissing David on the cheek.

But there are so many people to love in the world!

And people to love better.

Some powerful phrases to use with those you love

I am working on a project recently and came across a few things on pintrest the other day that have helped me love better specifically as a mother.

I realized I’ve been getting a little short and impatient with my Lucy lately, and for some reason these thoughts/ideas changed my attitude right around.

So I thought I’d share.

Because love is action.

Love is patience.

Love is giving the benefit of the doubt.

Love is forgetting about yourself.

And also, Love is attitude.

Maybe this one was my favorite, and it doesn’t go just for kids! Adults need these things too!:

positive phrases to say to your child to show love

As Lu and I were working on her homework last night, her magnifier buzzing away and that computer screen so enlarged I could hardly follow along, she kept clicking out of tabs we needed and kept getting frustrated with me even though it was actually the tiny buttons she couldn’t see that were making her mad. I was tired and it had been a long day. But those phrases were in my mind and somehow slowed me down, made me love her more than ever, and appreciate the hard work she puts into school work. Oh how frustrating that would be to not be able to see to maneuver your homework and to want so desperately to do it well! I was able to wash over her with some of those phrases and send her to bed with so much love when we were done.

I think sometimes we forget how powerful our words can be.

To diffuse difficult situations.

To create safe places.

To create stronger connection.


HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY dear blog readers!!

Sending out lots of love to YOU!

Thank you for all you teach me.


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  1. I love all these ideas! I’m printing out the lists so I can see them everyday. And I’ll just throw one more in there in the spirit of love. If we mamas can teach our kids to not use “that’s gay” to mean that is lame/that sucks etc… the world would be a much more safe and loving place. Some phrases are so baked into our vocabulary they are invisible until you love someone that is gay. And you are right, words matter so very much.

    1. I doubt that the Pothier’s love any one that is gay. At least not that they are aware of.

      Also, Shawni? If you could go back to your post about the levels of obedience a few posts back and respond to my question/comment there, that would be great. Thanks.

      1. @Yolanda And I seriously doubt you know the Pothiers’ hearts. All of your comments so far have been aggressive, judgmental and argumentative; what’s your purpose in reading Shawni’s blog? It’s definitely not to open up healthy discourse when all your comments begin with judgment. From what I’ve seen I doubt you love anyone who is LDS or religious.

        1. Anna Grace, it has nothing to do with their hearts. Their religion teaches that being gay is a sin and that it will bring God’s judgement on the person. Not my (or their) judgement, GOD’s. That’s not negative, that is fact. I would LOVE to open up healthy discourse with Shawni, but any questions with any substance or that might be “hard”, are met with, not an answer or a discussion, but with comments like yours… “why are you so mean to ask a question like that, I hope you have a better day…”

          1. Of course it has to do with their hearts! Thru this blog Shawni has shown how they live their faith and beliefs; Mormonism is a part of their lives, their beliefs, what their hearts hold true. You can’t have faith if you don’t believe it with your heart. So you professing to doubt that the Pothiers don’t love anyone gay IS judgmental, ignorant and mean. And, Shawni has answered questions to the best of her ability, according to her faith. Or did you just skip over those posts or ignore them when she came back later to answer? I also find it very telling that you interpreted my comment as someone who whines “Why are you being so mean to Shawni?” When that was the furthest tone to my question. It’s a legitimate question: why are you spending time on a blog that obviously riles you up? I mean, since you seem to be so concerned with people’s hearts/faith/religion wouldn’t it be better for your heart and peace to not read Shawni’s blog. Again, a legitimate question, not being snarky.

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