I was cleaning out a cabinet the other day and came across this:

And a deep baby-love spot in my heart pulsed heavy.

Why can’t I throw stuff like this away??

Then I came across this picture my friend took years ago:

Miss those little girls snuggled in sucking thumbs.

I have problems.

I think I need to change my IWAN (I.Want.A.Newborn.) to IMMB (I.Miss.My.Babies) because I do.

Dear Children, 
Please stop growing so fast.  I adore who you are becoming but please slow down a little bit!  I need a little more time to take you all in and soak in every second.
Love, your mother  


  1. i hear you!!! and i have a new born!!! my 5th is only 3 months old and i can already feel the baby-ness slipping from my fingers. I'm pretty sure we are "done" having babies (unless I want a new husband 🙂 but it is killing me. i'm trying to just focus on my little one and soak it all in…but what if the whole IWAN thing never goes away???? is that where grandkids come in??

  2. Charity summed up exactly how I feel about having a child of my own, (or not having one yet) one that I won't have to give back to anyone else.

    It's even harder as a member of the church.

  3. I feel the same way every day. My baby, probably our last (unless I can convience hubby otherwise) is 9 months and so independent and I just want her to stop for a little bit. I thought today that I wanted to bottle this part of her and hold onto it forever.

  4. I had my first experience with this, but it was more of the IMMB…my two year old went to pre-school and not ten minutes after I droppe her off I was on the phone with my mom telling her how lonely the car felt. I stayed on the phone the next 2 and a half hours (and I am NOT a phone person) until I picked her up and her little chirping was again non-stop in my backseat. LOVE HER!

  5. I have the same "nose suckers" and can't part with mine either. I was really glad I saved those because with my younger kids, the hospital stopped using that type and started using really flimsy ones that didn't work as well. 🙂

  6. I share your IWAN, at least I have. Recently a friend asked if I was sad to have no more children, and it was then that I realized. I DON'T want a newborn. I want MY BABIES to be babies again. Any old newborn isn't sufficient. So I am right there with the IMMB.

    BAD. 😉

  7. So fun that you wrote this post. I was just thinking about this today. As I read your Thailand post a few nights ago I caught myself wishing I could be there too. I wouldn't say I was jealous, but those beautiful pictures sure made me want to join you! But then I stopped for a minute. I looked down at my 5 week old son sleeping in my arms. I thought about all the experiences I was sharing with my husband and 2-year-old daughter as expats living in Brazil. And then I finished your post, completely content with my life and sweet young family. Thanks for the frequent reminders to cherish my newborns/babies! With you and Charity in my reader, there's no way I can forget it.

  8. Wow, don't turn around to fast they'll be gone. My daughter just started her sophomore year at BYU-I,(it was 1993 just the other day wasn't it??) and my baby is a senior in high school, yikes!!! Thankfully I do have a 15 month old grandson to snuggle and spoil, but there is something about your own kids growing up that is exciting and heartbreaking at the same time, I'm going to have to talk to Heavenly Father about that one day!!

  9. Have one more Shawni…just one more baby may cure you..:-)…I have 5 babies and my youngest is 2 and Im craving more littles in the house…what makes us stop wanting more babies..?

  10. Ah. This is a sweet post! We had our first baby 8 weeks ago, and I already feel like he's growing up too fast! Being a mama is one special thing. Thanks for the reminder to soak up every second – even the spit-ups & blow-outs 🙂

  11. I can totally relate – my son is 18 – but although I think about those baby days a lot, I truly don't want another one. And please, the people who commented here about maybe not having another one even though you have 5 or 6 already – please. Five, let alone six is more than enough – especially when the reason you want to have more is to satisfy your own rather selfish feelings. Concentrate on making the ones you have into great individuals – not on having more and more, just for the sake of being able to hold another newborn. It's hard to close this chapter in your life, but sometimes it's best to do it and move on.

    I read Charity's post as well, and I hate to say it, but surrounded by her own large family, who also all have many, many kids – do you think it's possible that Charity is getting the message from them, even subconsiously, that she will not be a complete person until she gives birth multiple times? Charity is wasting precious "alone" time brooding about this, rather than enjoying her freedom while she has it.

  12. I feel pretty content that our family is complete, but just a few days ago I texted my husband and said "I want a baby" and was quite emotional about it. I went through everything in my mind about how it could all pan out, but I had to remind myself of that contentment and peace I've felt in our joint decision. It is so so hard though.

  13. I look at this picture and realize this will soon be my past too. Right now I'm smack in the middle of crazy mommy life with a 4 month old a 2 year old and a 4 year old. I love and adore them and every time I think about them growing up my heart sinks a little. I want to freeze them in time and give them snuggles forever! Now life isn't all peaches and roses its hard really hard, especially without sleep. Sometimes I feel like I don't enjoy them enough. I look at your family and hope and pray my children grow up to be wonderful individuals like yours. I hope that I won't look back on these times with too many regrets. You are a great example, thank you for your wise council.

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