Letting Kids Conquer the “Seemingly Impossible” – hard is good

Let’s talk about something my grandma once said, “When you master the seemingly impossible, it does something for you that fits into your very character for a lifetime, and makes the next impossible thing seem that much easier.”


I think about that a bunch.

Especially this last few months when each of us have been involved in some seemingly “impossible” tasks.

Some “Impossible” tasks lately

Little things like how impossible the bendy sidewalk en route to the junior high seemed to be to maneuver for Lucy and I on our tandem bike those first few days of school, especially one little section with a tree jutting out into it:

(we are not the most talented bike-riders, especially on our tandem).

Things like Claire taking on volleyball camp this summer that I talked about yesterday.

Max and Abby, newly married, taking on living for a summer in a foreign country where Abby didn’t speak the language and they had work schedules where they could hardly see each other that first little while:

And then emerging again at the end of the day happy and triumphant.

The impossible that each child is learning to master, making the next thing on the list “that much easier.”

Grace’s “Impossible” in China

But today I want to tell the story about how Grace decided to spend the last month of her last home summer in China.

Because to me, THAT was the epitome of “impossible.” A hard thing that has helped her gain so much more resilience.

Let’s start at the beginning.

We were at Bear Lake and all was well.

Because pretty much before I could blink that girl had agreed to head off.  She somehow just felt completely calm and good about it.  Knew it was just what she should do right from the moment Dave asked.

Within a matter of days Claire and I were standing in the driveway in the dust of Grace’s farewell, linked in a tight hug, tears filling both of our cheeks.  Neither of us were ready for that girl of ours to leave a month earlier than we expected.  The only thing that gave me peace was that Grace was so sure of that decision.  Didn’t doubt it for a minute.  So it somehow infiltrated into my heart that it would be ok. But I ached for Claire.  She was losing her very best friend.

Arrival in China

But off Grace headed, into the wide, blue yonder.

Her brother and Abby were there to pick her up and get her situated:

She united with the girls she’d be working with, all but one she knew from before:

(not sure why that picture is so blurry…)

And she soaked up those couple days with Max and Abby.

(that picture was in honor of Lucy who adores m&m’s)

Oh it was all fine and dandy overlapping with those two for a few days.

They were all in Heaven to be reunited and Abby showed her the ropes:

But then Max and Abby wrapped up their time there…

And Grace got busy filling those large shoes Abby left behind:

And it hit her:

THIS IS HARD.

The beginning of the “Impossible” in China

Her face doesn’t show it in these pictures, but this adjustment was tough stuff.  She was homesick.  And she works long hours in a tough job she was trying to figure out.  I love modern technology so that she could still be involved in getting Claire off to the start of a new school year (she loves that stuff and she’s so good at it!  We sure felt a loss without her!)

Oh, she did fun things like China Disneyland one weekend, and got to know those girls even better:

(Very different from last time she went, lots more responsibility and day-to-day classes rather than a “camp” kind of feel.)

But she missed home. And I think the heaviness hit her that she will only have a super quick turn-around (12 hours) to get back here and then head to Hawaii to start her college career.

Hawaii or not, going to college is a big gig!

The time difference (15 hours ahead) is rough for talking.  She’s asleep when we’re awake and visa-versa, but every time we finally find a time that matched up, usually in the midst of the morning routine getting the girls off to school, we got this “other user’s connection is unstable” message over and over and OVER again:

It’s tough to really have a heart-to-heart when the phone connection breaks every few seconds and you can only hear every other word and most of your conversation is filled with “can you hear me?” “you there??”

One morning in particular (almost midnight there), I tried to talk her through a typhoon of all things.

Check out this video her boss took out of his window earlier that day:
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Yikes, right?  Her building was swaying when we were talking and her roommate’s room was leaking from all the rain and boy, when it rains, it pours!

A Refiner’s Fire

But that girl has learned more than she bargained for!  Mostly how that connection with Heaven isn’t nearly as frustrating to break through as the one from China to the U.S. is! I sent her her patriarchal blessing as requested and we have had some good (although still glitchy connection) talks since and boy, this is a good practice in “remembering” to look up.  And remembering why she felt such a great peace the minute this option became available.  Sometimes things like that are hard to remember in the face of the tough stuff.

Since then she has hit her stride. Sometimes it just takes some early “impossibles” to get you going!

I love the pictures she sends home:

And they put her to work doing things like this:

Ha!

This was her text when I asked how it went:
“It was straight up 8 hours of singing and dancing and talking in my most ecstatic voice to a camera…it was the most out of my comfort zone thing I’ve ever done but now I honestly feel like I can do anything.”


That text immediately made me think of my grandma and her quote about doing the impossible.  That girl has done lots of the “impossibles” over the last little while which will no doubt make the next ones “that much easier.”

And probably more fun too:)

How the “Impossibles” change your perspective