This is not a political blog. But it is a place where I try to share goodness, light and connection.
Wherever your heart is after election day yesterday, I hope our country can bind together and look for the best in others. That’s where strength comes. I know sometimes that’s tricky when we don’t see eye to eye. But it’s the most important work we can do.
I read this article called “There Are No Teams” my brother sent yesterday and it was SO BEAUTIFUL so I wanted to share it here as well.
There are No Teams
It starts with this story about Mr. Rogers:
On May 9th, 1969, in the midst of ongoing tensions about segregated swimming pools, Fred Rogers did something simple yet moving on an episode of Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood. He invited a Black police officer played by François Clemmons to dip his feet in a pool with him.
Then it goes on to say:
It’s easy to forget how severe tensions were at the time. Steeped in racism, some people threw nails into pools and beat up Black people who tried to swim with them. In one instance a hotel manager in Florida got so angry he dumped acid in the hotel pool when he saw a Black family swimming in it.
The author talks about how this act by Mr. Rogers set such a good example of the second great commandment: Love your neighbor.
He talks about some pretty beautiful examples and also the scriptures to mourn with those who mourn…oh there is so much good in that article.
Love More
I’ve been thinking about this quote:
“The way you think about who you are affects every decision you make.”
–President Nelson
May we think of ourselves as peacemakers. People who look for the best in others. Who look beyond their actions into their hearts.
You can be sad or elated or horrified or fine-with-whatever about yesterday, but may we remember our job is to “love more,” even (and especially) the people who think differently from how we think. We’re all children of God coming from different angles to life. May we have compassion for each other as we build wherever we live to be a better place.
May we show up in all things with LOVE.
I love how this article I shared closed:
But when you see yourself and others fully, you realize that there ultimately are no teams. “The line separating good and evil passes not through states, nor between classes, nor between political parties either,” writes Russian author Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, “but right through every human heart—and through all human hearts.” There is only endless complexity unfolding inside and between each of us, an ever-shifting blend of good and bad—a hope for a brighter future together.
And still the rain keeps falling and the sun keeps shining on us all.
May we all love just a little more today than we did yesterday.
XOXO
Thank you for this and for always sharing so much goodness and light. I’m feeling deeply sad and worried for all the vulnerable communities (including women across the country) and in moments like this, is hard to remember that there is more that unites us than divides us — your post was that reminder for me today. xx
Me, too.
Thank you for your worry. It feels like love to me today❤️. And I see you in the vulnerability. I worry even more for my daughters than myself. Speaking of which…
Shawni you should read Ejaculate Responsibly. It makes you think and is written by a Mormon mom of 6 on abortion. Thank you for sh sting your love, light and family so freely.
Love looks like holding people accountable when they perpetrate hatred. It means arresting the hotel manager who threw acid in the pool and protecting the Black family. Love looks like standing up for the marginalized and speaking up on behalf of those who suffer from the bigotry and hatred of others. Love is working so that the perpetrators of hate lose power. That is how I will practice love today.
Thank you! I am the mom of a trans child. Terrified she will lose access to her medicine. The medicine that literally saved their life. No one would choose this in this climate. She has been through hell in Utah. Having “Friends” tell slurs at her among other things… I keep having neighbors tell me we can be kind and agree to disagree and sending me pictures of Christ washing both candidates feet. I told them that this is more of a Christ over turning tables moment. And that kindness is standing up for each other not telling me it’s ok when it’s not.
Nicole, my heart aches for you and your child. I can only imagine how difficult that journey is for you both. Sending you so much love. XOXO
Why is changing gender saving his/her life?
Your child needs to know to love themselves the way God made then.
I am black if I hated my color I couldn’t turn white. What would that prove? I would just find something else to hate about myself and want to change that.
It took me awhile to understand too. When she hit puberty she got really depressed and anxious and didn’t have the words to help us understand what she was feeling. It was several years of this. When she was finally able to describe it, we spent several more years in therapy and studying to understand. And now that she is out and on HRT, she is delightful and goofy and making plans for the future despite the hate she gets in our community. No one would choose this. It’s too hard. And so I believe her and believe that she is loving who God made her to be. When she came out, it was actually the most spiritual experiences of my life. It felt like God wrapped me in his arms V and said, “You are so so lucky you get to know your child completely”❤️. And we have done tons of research. There is so so much medical proof to validate her experience. I actually learned about being intersex at BYU, which is an adjacent thing. The biggest motivator though is suicide rates among trans humans go down drastically for people who have access to care and people who validate and believe them. I don’t have to understand completely to love well. If you are interested in stories… this book- fiction, written by the mom of a trans kid is great “This is how it always is” by Laurie Frankel. I think we just still have a lot to learn about the beautiful diversity of our siblings. And the more trans people I know, the more I am amazed at their goodness and courage.
Oh Nicole, I’ve been meaning to come back to this comment all week. I so appreciate your vulnerability and the beautiful way you shared the journey you and your daughter are on. You’re right, we don’t have to understand completely to love well. But having more of a window into the hearts of others helps develop deeper compassion, so thank you for sharing that window of yours. Love is powerful, and I love to hear how you and your family are growing into it.
XOXO
I agree, Carly. I believe that’s what Jesus would do. Trying to understand where someone is coming from doesn’t mean not standing up for what’s right. If you read more of the article it says this:
“It also takes strength to love universally and still demand accountability. I mean, we can understand the hotel manager’s life circumstances *AND* also put him in jail. After all, in its full expression universal love encompasses the actions of justice. (This might have been another subtle reference from Fred Rogers, who sat next to Officer Clemmons, dressed in full uniform—suggesting the need for restorative justice.)”
I wonder what happened to the family. They must’ve been in terrible pain.
I really hope that they recovered from it ok.
I am not garbage. The sitting President of the U.S. called more than half the country garbage. I am female. I am not vulnerable because I am female. The media who dislike the results are doing the same thing as the sitting President did recently. “Half the country is… “ pick from the list of names and stereotypes we heard them all say today about those who voted differently than they told us to. I’m not entirely sure people have a grasp on which side is doing the aggressive speech. People are not assigned to groups to remain in some status of vulnerable for decades to be safeguarded from some nonexistent threat. Of course the country voted different than the people calling American’s garbage and other things told us to. We like the other guy. He does not do that.
I am a woman. What the heck can’t I do because I am a woman? In the U.S. This year. I am over 50. Please tell me what can’t I be? I can stay single or marry. I can choose my spouse. I can have a child. I can be childless. I can go to school my whole life long if I want. I can study anything I want. I can earn multiple degrees. I can work in any job besides Catholic priest and I’m not called as it is a vocation not really a job, so could care less. I could be clergy under a different title, go to seminary and be employed with that degree afterward so same difference. I can join the military, at a younger age. I can quit my job and return to the workforce later on. I can vote. My mother always could. My grandmothers always could. I can wear whatever the heck I want. Uncover whatever the heck I want. I don’t need a male guardian in order to go to the store, leave the country, marry or get a job. I can drive. I can hold office. I can travel anywhere in the country without a permit. I can change religion, find religion, leave religion. I can vote for whoever I want to vote for, provided they survive the election cycle.
When you look at men the same list for them. They can’t be nuns. But they could be other clergy and being a sister is a vocation not a job as well. They need help to have a baby but women can’t do that by themselves either. Need certain material from elsewhere.
How are you vulnerable as an American woman?
As Shawni said, This Is Not A Political Blog. The last thing any of us need is to be blasted with more of your usual anger and cynical attitude, which by the way, is all you ever seem to post. Why don’t you join some political forum or some other kind of forum that’s made especially for the whiny complainers. You’ll fit right in.
I’m so glad you feel empowered as a woman, Kristine. That is so important. Use that power to make a difference for those around you, they may really need you right now.
And you are definitely not garbage, none of us are! We are human beings who can have so much power through kindness. I agree that there’s lots of aggressive language on both sides, that’s why I really loved this article I posted about. I also love what Ryan Holiday said on social media today, “Our job today and tomorrow is the same as it’s always been–to be good, to be wise, to stand up for what’s right, to resist what is wrong and evil. Nothing changes that. Nothing exempts us from that. Nothing prevents us from doing that.” I believe he’s right.
Laura, thank you for trying to keep this on track. I think Kristine is just trying to express herself. Sometimes it helps to type just to figure out your thoughts. Sometimes those who seem most cynical are the ones who could use the most love.
XOXO
Yes Kristine! I agree.
you poor thing. you drank the poisoned kool-aid trump has been giving you for the last 10 yrs. you are part of his cult. looking to tucker carlson as well as the others you mentioned shows that you clearly are uneducated and ridiculously ignorant. those of us who are smart and aware look at the likes of you and realize this is why your dumb trump “won”. he had idiots following him. remember he said clearly, “i don’t care about you, i just want your vote”. he only ran to clear up all of his legal issues he has. no other reason. he doesn’t care about you or your life or bettering your life. but the poisoned kool aid you drank will keep you in your disillusioned world forever. how very sad for you and your ilk.
People with issues as serious as yours should stay off the internet.
Yep per the norm. Attack voters. Name calling voters. Call them idiots. Irredeemable deplorable idiot garbage me.. No one verbally attacks Biden voters. Biden perhaps but not fellow American’s. It used to be American’s respected others and kept their criticism to the candidate or elected official. I have a bachelor’s degree and master’s degree. In library science which is one of the most liberal professions out there. But if I had no degrees I’d be an American entitled to a vote like all citizens 18 and over. There is no literacy requirement. More women have been enrolled in university than men for the last 3 decades, maybe longer? The server at Chilis has just as much right to cast their vote as a person sitting at a ‘news’ desk and neither should be vilified for their choice. The news desk person gets to at work say who they want. The Chilis worker is forbidden from wearing vote for buttons on the job.
Listen to MSNBC. Their response. Flabbergasted the public did not vote how they were told to by them and their 6 figure salaries. And all those rich entertainers who really ‘know’ the everyday person’s life. Those in the media are acting like middle school bullies. The think if they tease and torment people for certain things others won’t want to be targets so will go along with whatever they say to do to not stand out and be the next target. Encouraging others to join in. The women that voted for him must be uneducated. Hispanics are racist. They are on tv disappointed at the character of people who had the nerve to vote differently than themselves. They like to marvel in their own magnificence. They are not the saviors of anyone.
It took 6 1/2 years for Snopes, heaven help us, to clear up the one incident the left used to call Trump antisemitic and racist Nazi. A man travelled without papers from across the pond and showed up at the southern border. They let him in. He went to the most Jewish neighborhood in Chicago and shot an observant Jew, easily identifiable as Jewish, because he is Jewish and then cried out a phrase that should only be said during a peaceful prayer but said during terrorism incidents in the non peaceful settings. The Democrat mayor didn’t mention the victim Jewish at first. Took almost a week for hate crime charges and for them to consider it terrorism. Kim Foxx still in office. She treated the Jessie Smollet hoax differently and was far more speedy. We are not being kept safe.
You are all concerned a person in Venezuela without a visa in hand in the home they are leaving will not be able to enter the U.S. if they just show up? Why would anyone there need protection? It is socialist and socialism is supposedly awesome. If a particular group being targeted by the government there perhaps we need to step in militarily? Is the U.S. a place anyone anywhere is entitled to live at a time of their choosing?
It’s not 1969 anymore. Americans are just Americans. More of just about every ‘group’ voted for him compared to first term. Women, youth, AA, Jews, Hispanics … It is not rational to approach voters and put them in your categories labeled this way anymore. Identity politics is over. It would probably make more sense to put people in categories by job category and students and retired people. The dream has come to happen. People are not judged based on gender and race anymore. Just who they vote for which is a form of voter suppression. There should be no such pressure. Disappointment is natural but not need to take it out on peop.
Come on friends, we all know Kristine by now! She has trolled here for years (although I am never sure exactly why)….
Factually, Trump called America a garbage can on October 24.
Those are English words that are understood to describe the things and people in this country as garbage. (Just the one time, you say? Hardly….) Interestingly, you’ve only cited Biden’s unfortunate and uncharacteristic remark. Why is that? Biden is often called a decent man. I don’t ever hear anyone ever refer to Trump as decent by anyone, especially his “followers”. What we do hear are the vulgar, hateful insults or that Trump, his family, his sycophants, or followers hurl at women, the disabled, people of any color, race, country of origin, or religion. Kristine, by supporting Trump you and others have normalized this way of behaving and speaking and at this point I have no choice but to presume it is because you share the same vulgar and insulting feelings and behaviors yourself. That makes it impossible for me/us (meaning those simply can’t comprehend this way of thinking) to connect and communicate with you, Trump, or others like you, but it doesn’t seem like you even want to connect or communicate.
Shawni, thank you for acknowledging/alluding to the election. It can be hard find the right sentiment or words to meet the moment but I appreciate the post’s effort.
Amen, Annabelle.
You are not garbage. I’m sorry that some people think you are. I know that hurts. Immigrants, journalists, trans people, and women who need abortions are not garbage either. The dozens of women who have been raped or sexually assaulted by Donald Trump are not garbage. Puerto Ricans are not garbage. Black and brown people from “shit hole” countries are not garbage. Prisoners of war are not garbage. Disabled people are not garbage. People on food stamps are not garbage. Muslims are not garbage. Jews are not garbage. Palestinians are not garbage. Ukrainians are not garbage. LGBTQIA+ people are not garbage. Immigrant children at the border, forcibly taken from their parents’ arms, are not garbage. Democrats are not garbage. I know you probably agree with me on many if not all of these points. I wish we agreed that the man who has repeatedly maligned and endangered each of these groups of people was not fit to be President.
I dont understand how so many people still don’t see through the deceit the mainstream media spews. Yesterday was a very happy day for me. I feel a great sense of relief knowing we have a real leader of the country and not a puppet being led by the deep state. Have you not noticed the celebs who support Kamala are also friends with Diddy and Epstein? Have you not noticed that abortion is satanic, Literal child sacrifice? Have you not noticed that biological males should not be competing in women’s sports it’s unfair. Have you not noticed that youre being deceived by those who don’t have your best interests at heart and are painting the good guy as another Hitler? Wake up. Try watching some other news outlets. I suggest Candace Owens, Joe Rogan, Tucker Carlson, Charlie Kirk… have a nice day. 👍 God Bless America.
While everyone is entitled to their beliefs, something that makes this nation wonderful, please note that this blog post is calling for unity, and your comments are doing the opposite by promoting conspiracy theories and individuals who are creating an increasingly divisive rhetoric.
You’re welcome to your own opinions, but please share them on your own page rather than co-opting someone else’s blog.
Thank you SJ!! I agree!
Is everyone bashing Trump and Trump voters unifying?
Do you mean it’s meant to be a safe place for people to be upset their choice did not win this time? Cause that is not a means for unification.
I’m sorry to see that’s what you’ve taken from this. It seems like you’re experiencing a lot of big, overwhelming feelings right now and I know you’re not alone. Especially now, it can be helpful to unplug from the internet and do some of these things instead: try a new exercise class, volunteer your time at a local charity, spend time outdoors before it gets too cold, reach out with love to those in your life who may need more support, bring flowers and cards to a nursing home, stock your local free little library stands with some of your favorite kids books, ask a neighbor if you can help them with a task they’ve been putting off, treat yourself to a massage (my personal favorite!), watch your favorite movie or tv show, sponsor a family for Christmas, donate to your local food bank, make a point to smile at everyone you see, leave an extra generous tip for your server, do a guided meditation (another favorite!), make your bed with cozy holiday sheets, and in everything you do, lead with love.
Maybe others can add to this list as well with activities that help them de-stress and feel better when tensions are high.
We have more in common than we think, and kindness (from ALL) is crucial, especially right now.
@Laura Fredlund – the term “mainstream” means regarded as normal or conventional. So, from there we can interpret that “mainstream media” is, in fact, normal and conventional. The opposite of mainstream are words like “abnormal” and “unusual”.
The content you are consuming is on fringe – that’s why you can’t refer to Tucker, et al. aren’t considered “mainstream”. Just because there are a lot of people like you listening to and believing this stuff (vulgarity, insults, discriminatory, hateful rhetoric, ideas, and flat out lies (about simply anything! abortion, immigrants, science, the weather (!!)) simply does not make those things true.
Shawni,
I do think your blog is a place of kindness and thoughtfulness on the internet. I am still sorting through a lot of feelings in this election, but overall I am heartbroken. Some of the comments here certainly do not help this feeling.
I cannot believe the state of misinformation and misplaced anger we are living in and I hate seeing this in the comments here. To think that Trump is not funded by those who only care about power and money, such as the gun lobby, fossil fuels, Elon Musk, etc. I can’t wrap my head around it. To be upset about Biden’s garbage comment and ignore all of the horrific things that Trump has said about punishing those who don’t follow him, seeking vengeance against opponents, wanting generals like Hitler’s, etc. How does that make sense? To assert that you are not vulnerable and ignore the attacks on the vulnerable. I worry that we have become complacent and ungrateful as a nation for all we have. I am scared for all of us.
I agree with you so much! I read this today and resonated with it deeply “When I think about this I remember the “Paradox of Tolerance” that my school taught us about in high school (re – of course – Nazi Germany). To be tolerant you must be intolerant of intolerance and a society must be intolerant of intolerance to remain tolerant. I cannot look beyond intolerance my friend has condoned and pretend it is ok”. It’s a work in progress, but its our duty to love more and stand up for what’s right. Sending love xx
And thank you Shawni for this space!!
What did the electric car guy do to warrant such hate? It’s the new religion environmentalism.
Reminds me of JK Rowling. Respected for the franchise she built. Incredible woke and PC. Dig at no child for American teachers following. Hogwarts free she said in an interview. All faiths represented in the wizarding world we saw in the series. Dumbledore is gay she said. A hero. She gave money to Labour Party and spoke against Brexit like a good globalist. Then she says biological sex is real. There can not be same sex attraction or feminism if biological sex not real and she was labeled a horrible human being.
Mr Musk must have upset someone?
Kristine,
What I dislike about Trump, Musk and Rowling is seemingly what I think you also dislike about certain political figures – that their rhetoric seeks to divide people. Musk has estranged himself from his daughter and said horrible things about her. He has repeatedly sowed division online between those he considers “woke” and those that think how he does. That breaks my heart. Trump mocks immigrants, the disabled, and those who don’t align with his views. I have friends in education telling me that young boys spout the same things Trump says and this leaves fellow classmates who are immigrants, who are gay, who are women, in tears at the cruelty. This breaks my heart. Rowling calls out female athletes by name and says horrible things about them. Dear friends of mine are trans and they are scared right now for their futures. This breaks my heart.
I don’t like this side-taking of any kind. I just want us all to remember we’re working for a common goal and be nice to each other again. To recognize the humanity in each other. We are all on the same team. I believe this above all else.
I also voted for my daughter’s rights.
I voted for her right to free speech.
I voted for her right to practice her religion.
I voted for her right to peacefully assemble and protest a tyrannical government, regardless of her political leanings.
I voted for her right to bodily autonomy without interference from experimental drug companies mandated by her government.
I voted for her to exist as a woman, in women’s sports, to have a women’s bathroom, and have a women’s only dorm room.
I voted for her right to love whomever she wants.
I voted for her right to bear arms.
I voted for her right to a secure border and safe streets.
I voted for her financial freedom so when she grows up she’s not bound to a tyrannical government that overspends.
I voted for her innocence.
I voted to protect her from gender confusion and chemical castration as a minor.
I voted for her right to grow up being raised by her parents, instead of being coparented with the government.
That’s why I voted for Donald J Trump.
oh boy…..you claim to be pro life but love your guns.
Laura, as a strong female, you are the kind of woman who make women look bad.
you drank the kool-aid trump served. it’s the uneducated, ignorant, racist men and women who won last night. trump is just the one who hates all the people you hate.
Actually Betty, I hate no one.
Laura — You voted for your daughter to practice her religion? What about our Jewish children? And Muslim? And agnostic? Is the classroom going to be a safe place for them to practice what THEY believe? It seems like the Christians are very pro religion in the schools because they assume it will be THEIR religion. How would you like your daughter to come and tell you that she was forced to read the Quaran? How would that feel, to be forced to pray in a way that’s not familiar, that’s not how your family prays, that’s not how you were taught? People who want freedom of religion want to be FREE of it in schools and be able to practice at home/in their chosen communities.
I am relieved and comforted to see SJ, Andrea, and Elizabeth’s comments, and I am frankly amazed by Shawni’s kindness in response to some unfailingly negative contributors. I do not believe as Shawni does, and I do not agree with everything I read here. If I have something to say, I try to do so with civility and asking questions respectfully.
I started to comment in a way that encouraged people to refrain from bringing only negativity to these comments, which some individuals here do with regularity. I cannot, however, comment in good conscience without reacting to the recommendation of hatemonger and anti-Semite Candace Owens. That is a model for your family? God help you all.
Have you ever actually listened to Candace Owens? She is not antisemite, whatsoever. You must only believe that because of what you’re told to believe. Same reason why any of you voted the way you have. I feel bad for you that your eyes aren’t opened to the evil you’re supporting. That’s all ill say because if you don’t see it at this point, there’s not much I can do. Listen to the actual words of Trump himself, and the people that have known him for years. You are beyond deceived.
Actually, Laura, you have no idea what I believe or who I support. I have listened to Candace Owens, many times, so that I can be informed on my own. Who is deceiving me when I listen to many varied news sources and think for myself? Isn’t that what you claim to be doing?
Some commenters talking about protecting women’s rights, but your v party can’t even define what a women is!
”your party xyz” is not a unifying comment. I shared some ideas above for helping to lower the temperature on this current rhetoric and hopefully that’s able to help you during this challenging time.
Sending love.
Another thing to say. I’m not here to cause contention, or fight with anyone. There’s enough contention in the world. As women, as sisters, we need to listen to one another. I’m just trying to say that you are mistaken about President Trump. Please take the time to watch this video from Brett Cooper with an open mind.
https://youtu.be/ybgV3jSNKEE?si=bLkmc247VYBSgEhe
You really need to stop grandstanding and insulting people on someone else’s blog. You wine about how there is so much contention, yet in the very next sentence you are throwing your opinion about Trump on all of us. Just move on and keep your rude comments to yourself.
To quote the article shared in this post, “There’s a strong pull to choose your team and create purity tests–to claim that those who don’t agree with you are a ‘them’ and that only those who are on your team are pure.” I think that speaks very well to this election! Even in the comments on this post, there are those that claim that anyone who voted for Trump is “uneducated, illiterate, and racist.” Wow! I know amazingly intelligent, loving people who voted for both Harris AND Trump–and even some who voted for a 3rd party. It is interesting to me that there’s been such an emphasis on the claim that Trump supporters are “uneducated.” I think it partly lies in the reality that most of our higher institutions of learning now push very liberal ideologies, and many conservative Americans are leaving those institutions in favor of trade schools or private schools that don’t participate in the cultural brainwashing that is taking over our public schools and colleges. It’s also interesting to me that many people chose to support Harris simply because she is a woman of color–which makes them both racist and sexist, doesn’t it? Many who voted for Trump admit that he has many serious faults, but they believe that he truly cares about America and Americans, and that his policies will help protect Americans’ fundamental rights–especially when it comes to religious freedom and the right to bear arms to protect ourselves and our families. He wants to put Americans first and enforce our southern border, helping protect Americans from the wave of criminals and drugs crossing that border. We can dig up plenty of dirt on BOTH candidates, but those who support Harris completely deny that she also has an immoral personal and political record. Harris supporters who claim to want to protect women’s rights have no interest in protecting the rights of unborn female babies. The ironies, contradictions, and hypocrisies are mind-boggling! I think Americans need to admit that we didn’t have a truly good candidate in the race. Both candidates have some redeeming qualities, but we had to vote on their policies, not on their personal character. And at the end of the day, we are all Americans who want the best for our Country and our families–at least that is my hope of hopes.
Thank you Stephanie for putting this whole mess into perspective. Your comment is very comforting and such a nice change from the vindictiveness that is being thrown on here by so many who can’t wait to spew their vile opinions at others ON SOMEONE ELSE’S BLOG! I never expected to see such juvenile behavior over here.
So thank you for sharing your words of sensitivity and common sense.
Which opinion of mine is vile?
The democratic party claims to be so inclusive but the opposite is true. I’ve never met anyone as hateful, and divisive as you. No words I can say will penetrate the level of delusion you’re under. I don’t see how you can vote the way you do, nor can you see the way I vote. However, I don’t hate you. The only name calling here is coming from your side. I pray that your eyes can be opened like mine have. Someday.
I can see you’re experiencing some really overwhelming feelings (and you’re not alone!) but posting comments in direct opposition to this blog’s call for unity isn’t the way to handle that.
I shared some positive ways to manage these feelings in another comment, the first one being unplugging from the internet to let the temperature cool off. Hopefully some of those suggestions can be helpful to you during this emotionally charged time.
I look forward to all being able to have respectful and constructive discussions one day hopefully soon.
Sending love
I wish you would all share more love, as Shawni suggested.
And Shawni, I wish you would close the comments here. Sadly, the comments just add more sadness and hurt on top of everything else.
Thank you Stephanie, for sharing your perspective in such a thoughtful and respectful way. Isn’t it interesting that every comment on this post is, I believe, reflecting a good person who voted for what they think is best for our country and for our children and for the future? Yet we all come here with such different thoughts and opinions. And it’s so natural to get defensive when someone doesn’t agree to something you feel passionate about.
Even within this little blog post comment section we can see there is “endless complexity unfolding inside and between each of us, an ever-shifting blend of good and bad.” My question is, what’s our “big picture” goal here? Does it help people feel better to sling anger when we think differently from how others think online? In my opinion that does nothing to help the “other side” really “get” what we’re talking about. It just makes both dig their heels in MORE to what they are holding close to their hearts.
I LOVE this TED talk by Spencer Cox:
https://www.ted.com/talks/spencer_j_cox_how_to_disagree_with_respect_not_hate?subtitle=en
He tells us to “disagree better” to make change. He talks about the “classic political virtues” which are humility, patience and moderation, without which, we become “ravenous beasts of prey.” (John Adams). Sometimes when I look at social media I think we have definitely become those ravenous beasts of prey.
I think we SHOULD have our own opinions. We’re going to think different because we ARE different. Politics and life are messy. But if we want people to understand our perspectives (and therefore build and unite on more common ground, isn’t this the real goal??) we have to “disagree differently.” We have to realize in order for others to understand us, we have to let down our guard enough to try to find common ground and to see and understand THEM too. It’s a two-way street, not just their job to understand US. That’s where it gets hard. It’s easy to just type out anger from our own high horses. It’s much more difficult to try to get to know a person and WHY in Heaven’s name they are thinking the way they are. To believe that they, like us, are showing up with different opinions that they feel equally passionate about.
I’m not saying we all need to just get along and put our arms around each other. Love doesn’t mean that we “ok” things that are not right. We absolutely have to stand up to them. But there are better ways to do this than slinging accusatory comments at each other through social media, which is happening in so many different ways and avenues following the election.
A friend was telling me recently that she met someone new and was vulnerable in admitting that she immediately didn’t like this new person. There was something that rubbed her wrong. So she decided she better force herself to get to know this new person. This, as you can imagine, was not easy. But because she softened herself to really seek to know this person, she not only gained a new friend, but expanded her perspective.
I believe we’re all more similar than we think we are. May we get to work finding similarities more than differences.
Well said Shawni. I respect that. That’s why I still love my friends that see differently than I do. I understand we’re all passionate in our own ways and it’s important to put our differences aside and work together. In the end it will all come together for good. I feel for you. You must feel like I did 4 years ago when “my side” lost. Scared, unsafe, worried for my children and what they’re exposed to. Like the adversary is at work now more than ever, because he certainly is. In time the truth of all things will be made known. I wish you all the very best.
I love the picture of Mr. Rogers and his new friend. It’s joyful. I’m finding a lot of comfort in studying recent history right now. Thinking about what the US must have felt like in 1969 when this picutre was taken helps me realize all we can endure. I also watched Rick Steves’ program on the rise of facism in Europe. Soon, I’ll move on to learning more about rhetoric and communication and I’ll start with the Ted Talk about disagreement that Shawni linked in a comment.
Thank you, Shawni for holding this emotional space so well. It inspires me to be as brave and loving as I can be. Love to you and your beautiful family.
Love to all of you and your beautfiul families.