Miracles Amidst the Hard Stuff: Lucy at BYU Summer School

We are already half-way through BYU summer school for Lucy and it’s been a rollercoaster ride for us for sure. But I want to take a minute to talk about finding miracles in hard times. Because amidst the heart-wrenching things, there are angels and miracles that keep showing up along the way. I’m always trying to train my kids to notice the miracles. Isn’t it so interesting that the more you look for them, and the things you think God wants you to notice, the more tangible they become? Lucy is carving herself out to open up for so much growth, and although it can be a lonely journey, I believe that’s often where the miracles come. And they are important to record.

The Miracles That Started Before She Even Arrived

So let’s back up to April right after we moved Lu out of her freshman dorm at USU and in the midst of her cousin’s wedding celebration. The two of us made a quick trip down to Provo to try to figure out school housing because there was nothing available online by the time she signed up.

It just so happened that a guy over the housing happened to walk by the front desk when the girl there told us we’d have to just email to figure it out. He invited us into his office and found that one spot had just opened up. A spot in a location that both Lucy and I felt would be a good fit. I saw God in those details so tangibly and it gave me so much peace for Lucy and this decision.

Then, a month or so before summer school started. I woke up to a tearful audio message from my sister Saydi. She was in awe after finding out her neighbor was randomly assigned as Lucy’s roommate. This incredibly kind girl who had also been randomly assigned in the same HXP group with Lucy’s cousin last summer. And then I got teary myself, reminded yet again how much God shows up.

Angels in Human Form

The biggest highs so far have involved this sweet roommate as well as Lucy’s cousins who have been close-by.

I can always tell the mood Lucy is in by how she answers the phone, and this night her voice was extra excited. She got to jump off a bridge into a river to celebrate one of her cousin’s birthdays. And it was hard to do with low vision. But angels in the form of some nice boys helped this determined girl do it safely. This is the face of a girl who was pretty excited about that brave and exciting thing:

Amidst the hardest days for Lucy people have showed up.

A kind roommate, an assistant teacher in her guitar class, someone to help her walk through internet problems, kids who are willing to stop and give her directions.

On one particularly sad day for Lucy one of our favorite families from home showed up. They took her to the temple:

And also hung out with her to play games one night.

Her siblings have shown up over and over again. There was a miracle on a late night when Abby went to grab her when she just needed a pick-me-up. And wouldn’t you know it, there was a thunderstorm that night: Lucy’s very favorite.

Yes, God is in the details.

When Everything Fell Apart (And God Showed Up Anyway)

One big low is that Lucy’s computer crashed while we were out of town for the 4th of July.

And losing your computer when you’re vision impaired is just not the same as losing your computer when any old computer will do. She has such specialized programs on that thing that will read to her, give her zooming and high contrast capabilities that work specifically for her needs.

I don’t want to sound too dramatic, but it was quite devastating.

We hoped with all our might it would be a little fix her tech guy in the desert could help her with.

But it wasn’t.

And that thing is her lifeline.

So we have been on a troubleshooting journey to try to fix that thing. And angst and worry too. Her tech guy needed someone to help walk her through a few troubleshooting things (preferably an adult, not a roommate). So I worked my little heart out to find someone after Lucy’s attempts failed. Max and Grace were both working, so I started making calls. With each one my heart got a bit more deflated as everyone kept passing the buck. The disability center said the IT people should be able to help, the IT people said they can only help online, even though I explained all we needed was just an adult, ANY adult to help.

I was so emotional by the time the fourth person told me they couldn’t help. Oh I know people are generally so full of help, but as I searched so far away I was just so filled up with this mama-bear feeling for my daughter who is just trying so hard that I just couldn’t hold it in any longer and started bawling to this guy.

I was just so overcome with sadness. This poor girl of mine is just trying so, so hard. And I just felt so helpless to help with her success. And the hard thing is even if the IT people could help her, could she find the building she needed to get to? That campus is just so big. (Of course she could, because she just does things, but this seemed overwhelming to me putting myself in her shoes from so far away.)

She did end up getting the kindest person to help in the disability center and both of us were so grateful.

Except that the reset didn’t work after all that.

A Thumbdrive to Save the Day

So the tech guy in the desert told me he could send me to Utah with a thumb drive to hopefully help it reboot. (I was heading up for our reunion, so it was another miracle that timing worked out.) I made the flight (another miracle because of some complications), and scrambled to get an uber to Lucy’s dorm in time, only to not be able to get a hold of the tech guy to walk me through the fix.

A Computer Rental

Yes, there was a miracle though! Because we were able to get there in time to help her rent a computer that can help while we try to fix the other one. It doesn’t have the same capacities, but she can at least communicate with her professors.

After some phone calls and hullabaloo to figure out the right building to rent a computer, and a car to get me there (Lucy’s cute roommate let us borrow her huge boat of a car), Lucy and I raced to get there minutes before it closed. We had to scramble through campus to get to the car, Lucy clinging to my arm as I dragged her along, her knees hurting.

I couldn’t figure out how to move the seat back so I drove with my knees jammed up in the dashboard and no AC on that hot Utah day following my map and then my phone died. Thankfully we still found the place and Lucy got a rental computer until we could figure hers out.

Her smile was so big and I felt so much love for her and how hard she’s trying as we drove back in that hot car triumphantly with that temporary computer in hand.

I worked on her original computer with that tech guy non stop for the next day, FaceTiming trying all kinds of different ways to reset the computer.

Oh this is such a saga, and I could write pages trying to articulate my mother heart and how it was aching and hoping and praying through all this. But I’ll just say that my brother Josh was able to help by installing all the drivers needed and I think that computer just might be able to work.

Finding Miracles in Hard Times: Where Were They?

Where is the miracle in a broken computer, you may ask?

Oh it was in the timing of the flight.

It was in her computer tech guy who was so helpful.

There was a miracle in the random few deer who lightened our hearts as we scrambled across campus to get to the car to get the rental computer.

(Yes, deer right on campus, crazy right?)

There was a miracle in that awesome car we got to drive, in that her roommate happened to be there and let us use it right when we needed it.

And in the fact that Lucy had a map when my phone died, and that the sweet kid running the computer center could help us so much.

There was even a miracle that these crazy shoes stayed on my feet as we ran all over the place, and in the fact that Lucy’s cute roommate was able to drop me off to where I needed to go when we were done (I love her).

There was certainly a miracle in my brother being able to help speak computer language to install all the drivers.

Yes, there were miracles bubbling up all over the place even in the midst of a really worrisome thing.

And we’re still hoping for a few more as the finishing touches are put on this computer fiasco. And on the rest of this semester of learning and growing for Lu.

I keep coming back to something I said at the beginning: the more you look for miracles, the more tangible they become. Lucy is living proof of that. She is out there every single day, doing hard things, and God keeps sending people, timing, roommates with giant cars, brothers who speak computer language and perhaps maybe even a deer (ha!) to help her along.

I don’t believe these are coincidences. God is no stranger when we look for Him.