Here we go, back to the grindstone after the holidays because school starts today, dang it! So much has happened over the last two weeks but let’s go back in time to winter formal before I get to that.

Because it for sure deserves a post of it’s own.

I love how Lucy is determined not to miss out on the big things that make up a high school experience. So when this opportunity came up for another girls’ choice dance, Lucy quietly thought hard about it, and then determined she would be going.

And she did.

This girl has a will I tell you! And also some amazing grit that helps her have the courage to do so many things we get nervous about for her. She’s the perfect embodiment of this quote:

Some men see things as they are and ask why.
Others dream things that never were and ask why not

-George Bernard Shaw

Lucy has “why not” as part of her mantra for life I think.

The circles of goodness around her help facilitate her dreams in ways that make me super emotional to think about.

From her teachers at school (we had her last ever IEP and I for sure cried about that), to her friends who are so willing to drive her places and slow down to help lead the way, to now two boys now who have been the most incredible dance dates we ever could have asked for.

The first one was one she knew from junior high she knew was a nice kid and was so good to her at MORP.

And then Winter Formal was with a boy she didn’t even know at all when she asked him.

Just a recommendation of a really nice kid from her friends. So she worked hard on her poster and had a friend take her to drop it off. (That friend also thought to take a picture for me, and I love her for that!).

She got informally answered that same night (see that sweet phone text up there?). Oh I loved that boy right from that moment.

Then the formal answer came right after one of her MCO concerts:

Oh you can’t help but be SO happy for a girl with that kind of a smile, right?

I will say though, these things weigh so heavy on Dave and my hearts. We want the world for her…and this dance was a big deal for all of us trying to hold each other together. Dances and social situations can be really difficult for Lucy with her eyesight and emotions, so Dave and I carry around a lot of worry in anticipation. Oh how we want her to have a good time. And her date too.

How will she manage a “dance dress” with her sensory issues?
Will she get emotional and be able to handle it all?
Will her date know anyone else and feel comfortable?
How will she navigate that crowded/sweaty dance floor?
Will she be ok staying up to the wee hours of the morning without getting grumpy and needing to have some alone time?

But I’m here to say that she did it all.

Dress Shopping

I mentioned before that she asked to go shopping for a dress. A huge deal in our book. It was interesting how she chose a dress: She felt each dress on the rack of her size and chose a few she thought she could handle. Then she tried each on and gave us a little fashion show.

This may seem like no big deal for most high school girls, this is what you do before a dance, right? But man alive, this is not my Lucy. This is way outside of her comfort zone, and she did it anyway. (See Elle up there giving her input too? Loved this girls night right before Thanksgiving.)

She chose the first dress she tried on.

It needed to be altered a tad bit so I was really worried the alterations would cause it to “feel” different…too tight? Just not right somehow. So we had a big talk on the way to the alteration lady about how it might be something she’d have to get used to.

And she did! She even asked for a photo of how it looked all ready to go.

The “Day Date”

She didn’t have a ride for the “Day Date,” which is the pre-dance date. So her cute date came and picked her up. Could you even think of a cuter duo than this??

He was so darling and polite and nice.

Dance-Readiness Prep

Then it was time for the real-deal dance. I didn’t get a photo of us pulling her all together, letting me actually dry her hair with a hair dryer AND curl it. (Those were big, emotional asks I tell you, but she did them.) She even let me put a tiny bit of concealer and some tanning stuff on her, although I think she was so stressed she didn’t even really notice. This girl is NOT a make-up girl.

And here’s the biggest new malleability:

Lucy let me talk her out of wearing her tennis shoes and actually agreed to wear these new shoes I picked up for her at Target.

Incredible. She was very concerned that we needed to paint her fingernails silver too, so she was pretty proud to hold up those puppies in the photo below, and headed off to pick up her date with her boutonniere my mom whipped up for us since she was in town (Thank You Mom!!)

The Dance

Her date’s mom sent me this darling photo of the pick-up:

And then it was time for the group photos.

Boys:

Girls:

Couples:

Are they not just the CUTEST??

These outtakes are perhaps my very favorite, I mean, look at that smile.

Love these friends Lucy has known her whole life who are so good:

Topped off with a pink sunset backdrop, Lucy’s favorite:

There were some ups and downs to be sure. A dance for that many hours is a lot. But I think everyone, including Lucy’s date, and also me and Dave in the end, came out triumphant.

Hooray for grit and goodness that abound.

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12 Comments

  1. I’m so proud of Lucy! I was never that brave as a teenager, and she is glowing and growing from her choices and her grit!! Her soul is magnificent, and she looked absolutely lovely all dressed up.

  2. what a pretty dress! and her hair looked beautiful too (though, I am always jealous of the hair in your family). maybe a delicate question, but are you ever afraid (a meta-fear) that your fears will telegraph onto Lucy or your other kids? That they might not have considered being afraid/uncomfortable with a situation (a situation that with someone else would not be a big deal), but they pick up on your apprehension? This is something I’m working on with my own tribe of young people. So, I was curious about you as well.

    1. This is such a good question! I think there is definitely a “telegraphing” of fears onto Lucy. I think all parents must do this, because we are human and do have worries for our kids whether we tell them about them or not. Even though Dave and I would never say how much we worry to Lucy, I’m sure it’s tangible sometimes. Our kids know so much more than we say in words, they really are so aware and they can feel things. And that is the worst when we make our kids worry about something they wouldn’t normally be worried about. I am SO grateful for Lucy’s grit and determination to get herself places and maybe that worry she senses in us sometimes has made her even more determined, who knows? I just hope that she never stops pushing and growing, and boy, do we ever hope we can be helping the pushing along rather than the pulling back from it all. Would love to know your thoughts about this, it sounds like you’ve pondered it in your own life. How do we get over that as parents? Or is it just a part of human nature?

  3. Ohhh, this is just beautiful. Thank you for sharing Lucy with us, and showing that we often don’t see the hard work that goes behind the end photo. I’m so glad she had a good night, and her date is just darling.

  4. It looks like Lucy had a fantastic time. You must be so proud of her determination. She is destined for big things that girl!

  5. I’ve been following you a LONG time. (Since Lucy was maybe 2-ish) I’m not sure I’ve ever seen her look so *genuinely* happy. Amazing how important peer relationships are! She looks so very lovely. I can only imagine how happy you were for her. Good job, mom and dad (and sibs), and I’m so happy for Lucy.

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