Lucy’s 19th Birthday Celebration: Letting Go and “Letting Them”

It was Lucy’s birthday yesterday. And I have some things to share about it. So if you’re sick of hearing about Lucy, you may want to skip this one and I promise I’ll get back to regular programming…if life will just please slow down!

But you guys, this was such a big deal for I think both of us. Because for the first time in 19 years I was not attached at the hip to that girl. And it was a bit emotional for both of us. I teared up like 54 times with gratitude for all the people who made her birthday so special. I teared up also because that girl loves a good birthday and despite everyone’s very best efforts, could they pull off a perfect birthday celebration to her high expectations?

Here’s the spoiler alert: they did. Everyone stepped up and made it an incredible day for the birthday girl. Oh it ended a bit emotional. But I hope she’ll remember all the beautiful parts.

It was a beautiful lesson specifically for me to learn to let go a bit. And also to learn to “let them” take over. Because when you serve you love even more. At least I hope that’s how it turned out!

Before I tell how it all went, let’s take a look at Lucy through the years. Because isn’t it amazing thinking of a child emerging into adulthood? All the things that have made this girl into the incredible woman she is, and I love to think about all the baby steps to get here. From the time she was itty-bitty.

Lucy through the Years

I love her.

So many things to Love about Lucy!!

And I love the things she has brought to me. The things she teaches me every day.

I love her grit. Her determination. I love her willingness to put herself in difficult situations if she knows it will help her grow. Her kindness. How she reaches out to others. How she’s always ready with “I’m Sorry” when she realizes she’s in the wrong. I love that she knows how to take time out to be alone when she needs to regroup.

I love that piano and music soothe her like nothing else.

As well as leaves and nature.

I love that you always know exactly where you stand with Lucy.

As much as I miss her, I love and deeply respect that she has such a drive to be independent.

For example, Dave and I got all set to get up to Utah to celebrate together. But after she thought about it for a bit, she decided it would be good to figure out that celebration without us. I mean, she’s a college girl after all. So this is how it all worked:

How Lucy’s Birthday Went

Dave and I actually felt super calm about not being there. So good for her siblings to rally around her and for her to feel independent. But yikes, that was a lot of mother-heart-strings trying to help the swings of birthday moods from afar and helping everyone feel like their efforts were so deeply valid even if Lucy didn’t show that they were. This is such a difficult motherhood balance: To let go enough so it doesn’t hurt so much, but to cling to what Lucy needs help and guidance with in her continual progression and development.

Lucy is a birthday girl to the core, and man alive, she has high expectations so this was a huge deal.

She decided she’d like to make the trek down to Provo to be with her siblings and also some friends there. So she and I worked together to figure out a bus ticket. And she arranged for her cousin to pick her up and take her the rest of the way. She let Grace know what she wanted for dinner and cake. She organized a game night. And they were all off to the races.

But first! Claire went up to sleep over with her at her dorm the night before her birthday. I LOVED FaceTiming with those girls that night, all smiles, together.

Lucy’s darling roommates put streamers up on her door early that morning. This is one of the most important details of a birthday according to Lucy. Streamers on the door as well as a candy bar poster. And I think her sisters took care of that one.

Claire had to get back for classes, and Lucy needed to be in her own classes, so Lucy took the bus down to meet up with her fellow celebrators rather than catching a ride with Claire.

The Bus Adventure

I’m going to insert a little of my own story here, because it’s interwoven so much into Lucy’s birthday story.

After a very crazy morning with a doctor and blood work and a problem with airline reservations, my heart was racing getting to the temple with a friend (we’ve scheduled and re-scheduled and both just really felt like we needed to be there). Because we pushed back our temple session for my doctor appointment that took forever, I realized as we were walking up that I’d be in the temple right when Lucy was supposed to catch her first ever bus from campus.

I had had her go to the bus stop before to scope it all out. She had her ticket. She was ready. But man, my heart was racing so fast when I put all that timing together.

But you know what? It was actually an amazing thing. Yes, my heart was racing, but I’m tearing up thinking about how special it was to not be able to do a single thing about it aside from praying with all my might for that girl of mine. Sure at first I very seriously thought about how to get up and leave. But then I realized that wouldn’t actually fix anything.

She could do this.

And I sent up the most fervent prayers for angel ancestors and those around her to help her. I felt so held in God’s love, and felt that Lucy was held in that same cocoon. I want to always remember that special hour in the temple.

Still, I cannot express enough how relieved I was to get back to my phone and find that SHE MADE IT!!

Made it on the bus, made it to the welcoming arms of my sister and her cousin:

Then the rest of the crew for dinner and games at Grace’s.

Oh that girl had things orchestrated I tell you, and everyone rallied around to celebrate her goodness. I was in tears much of the day thinking about how much I love her. How grateful I am for her. And then crying again talking to Grace who was at the grocery store trying to get everything she needed to make the dinner.

These heroes worked their little hearts out preparing dinner and cake and organizing everything.

I was crying seeing pictures of all that outpouring of support. Then crying again late at night when Lucy was so exhausted that she broke down. I think she was just so exhausted from holding it all together all day long and trying to set her expectations right.

But as I write she is safely tucked in the car with my brother-in-law (another hero) en route back to her dorm, ready to begin again in that lonely but beautiful world up there.

Another experience and yet another birthday under her belt.

All these steps of beautiful and sorrowful progression pushing her along in her path of life. Creating yet more grit and exuberance and strength and love.

And a life that is so strangely veering away from mine as she maneuvers her way in college and I try to figure out letting her go.

A Village of Support

It makes it so much better than I know there are people like this to buoy her up.

…as there have been every birthday.

Oh she is a well-loved girl.

And I hope she felt it yesterday: the day she turned nineteen.

Love you forever Miss Lucy!
XOXO