Physically I can do it when Dave’s out of town. I can get the kids where they need to be when they need to be there (not without the help of friends and carpools, but they get there). I can make dinner. I can change diapers. I can wipe runny noses and volunteer at the school. I can bathe kids and get them to church almost on time. I can even “be still” better than I have before and write my kids occasional special notes about how much I love them.
But emotionally I’ve reached my limit. I’m done. I was totally fine for the first ten days but I hit my limit this morning and I had to really struggle to pull myself together for Max’s last basketball game…I’m sure he would have been a little embarrassed to have his mom sitting there with tears welling up in her eyes on the sidelines while wrestling with his sisters to keep them off the court. (I know I’m pretty much a wimp because I know there are moms out there who have to be the single mom all the time. Boy do I admire them.) Dave’s been gone for a week and a half and I’m ready to hang out with him again. I just miss him. He’s in China and China’s tough because I feel like we can hardly talk when he’s there because he’s so many hours ahead that he’s pretty much asleep when I’m awake and there always seems to be an echo on the line, and sometimes I just hate talking on the phone because inevitably there’s a child hanging on my leg, wiping a nose on me, begging for a cookie, or trying to carry on a conversation with me while I’m trying to talk to the person on the other end of the line.
And missing him has been topped off with having a bad cold sore and having a really bad cold with aches and all that junk. So maybe I’m done physically too.