Missionary Monday (on a Wednesday)

Oh we sure loved up our kids on Labor Day weekend. But there was for sure a big gap.

There always is.

That huge personality of Claire’s is tangibly missing.

When we were boating over that weekend there was this moment (I’m trying to get better at being still enough to recognize moments), where I felt so much love. There was something so pretty about the light and also something so special about so many people I love packed into that boat, Murphy the center of it all. But right at that moment there was also such a pang of MISSING in that part of my heart that keeps Claire close. Such a hollow spot in filled up with the fabric of missing her.

Life goes on, of course, when you have a missionary. There are the regular comings and goings. The group family texts, the gatherings bursting with so much love. And admiration for the “becoming” going on amidst my almost-all-adult kids (Lucy’s 18th birthday is in a couple weeks!). But accompanied by all that, there is always a gnawing missing in the corner of your heart. It doesn’t go away.

I haven’t given an update on Claire here on the blog lately so we’d better get down to business. Because that girl is a wonder. She just hit her YEAR MARK and I don’t think I’ve written about her missionary life since the beginning. Yikes.

Letting Missionaries Go

For anyone without personal experience in the world of missionary work, I’ll just let you in on a little secret. It’s not all rainbows and butterflies. Missions are no joke. Not for the parents who let them go nor for the missionary.

I realized the parent part when we sent Max out years ago. I recently read the post where he got his mission call and we were drama queens over here I tell you! All bawling and happy and sad all at the same time. And then when we actually sent him off? It was like my heart was getting torn in tiny pieces right out of my chest. I couldn’t believe how hard that was because I served a mission. Little did I know how hard it was to let kids leave (or maybe I’m just wimpy).

This ripping-your-heart out has been a little different with each kid. Max may have been the toughest for my mama heart to let go because he was my only boy (two full years away) and also my first. AND we could only talk to him on Mother’s Day and Christmas…on the other side of the world. (You can FaceTime every week with missionaries now, so we got that with Grace as well as with Claire).

And it’s weird. Because as much as you MISS those kids with all your might, if they decide it’s what they want to do, there’s nowhere else you’d rather have them be. A mission is such an amazing opportunity for growth and learning. And to figure out what’s really in their hearts. It’s such a beautiful way to build a connection to God. And to forget themselves and learn to love people in a whole new way.

Of course, any kind of real growing in life is no joke, and is often a little bit (or a lot) on the painful side. I’m bemoaning the mothering side of letting kids go, but of course they’re the ones doing the leaving.

Growing Pains

Claire hasn’t missed out on the growing pains of missionary work. Learning Mandarin Chinese is no cakewalk and she has dealt with some anxiety. The nature of a mission pushes that kind of stuff I think. She has studied her whole heart out, and is so earnestly trying to do her best, and sometimes even when you put forth all your effort it feels like you’re taking a step forward and then two steps back.

Also, being a missionary speaking a different language in an English-speaking mission has got to be such an interesting fit. Right now there are only four Mandarin-speaking sisters and six elders. They are their own little pocket in a big, huge mission which must seem to separate them a bit. She’s never said anything about this but knowing those numbers that limits the people you meet and who you work with which is makes it different (different from serving in Taiwan, for instance, where all missionaries are learning Mandarin).

But this girl is learning so much with every transfer (each six weeks there are changes…not so many when there aren’t many companion options), there are golden moments mixed in there that make all the tricky parts worth it a hundred times over. She is finally starting to get in the groove of this language and told us the other day she thinks maybe she’d like to extend her mission. To which we all told her that is not allowed. Ha!

She is on a steep learning curve and glowing with the ability to tackle the tough stuff. She is learning so much about herself, God, relationships, faith, and love.

I love that I came across this note when I was cleaning out some cabinets lately:

Yep, even back then she had visions of serving a mission.

And now here she is right in the thick of it. Learning so much from everyone she meets.

Claire’s Mission Update

Ok so I’m going to let the pictures do the updating.

Claire has been in a couple trios (three companions together).

She has had the opportunity to train a couple brand-new-from-Taiwan companions who have actually taught her right back in the process (language, and other things too!).

Elder Cook came and spoke to the mission and she had such a special experience that day.

They teach English classes each week:

And meet with the best families.

She’s made it through an Australian winter (our summer)…

…and now it’s starting to warm up.

You see the Taco Bell crunch wrap up there above (where she’s wearing the winter coat)? I’m sure she was loving that. Because this picky eater of mine is mostly surrounded by this food she never liked before:

And I think she’s actually learning to like most of it.

The missionaries get to go to the Sydney, Australia temple each transfer (every six weeks):

And have zone meetings (I can’t remember how often):

She got new mission presidents (above) in July and she adores them (adored the last ones too, such great leaders!)

Her latest companion is a gift from Heaven. They have learned so much from each other and as Claire was hoping, they just got transfer news they’re staying together for another six weeks.

How grateful I am, as a missionary mom, to be able to see the hand of God in the people my girl meets and learns from and is assigned to be with.

Here’s a part of her latest letter:

As i have hit one year on my mission, Ive been thinking so much about all my experiences here in australia and all the relationships i have made.

It has been a haaarrrdd year of learning and growing. Sometimes it is hard to see the success of all the efforts we put in. Sometimes i feel like i am giving it my all, and seeing nothing in return.

But i know that the relationships i have made, whether they choose to except the gospel or not, are so special that i will remember forever.

This is a year that i will cherish forever and i know it has changed me forever.

One of my favorite talks is “god knows and loves you” by allan phillips

“You are His child. If you are feeling lost, if you have questions or lack wisdom, if you are struggling with your circumstances or wrestling with spiritual dissonance, turn to Him. Pray to Him for comfort, love, answers, and direction. Whatever the need and wherever you are, pour out your heart to your Heavenly Father. For some, you may want to follow President Nelson’s invitation and ask “if He is really there—if He knows you. Ask Him how He feels about you. And then listen.””

I love the part “and then listen” because his answers come in all sorts of ways. We have to pay attention and listen to how he personally answers our prayers

愛你們❣️💌

Love you forever Miss Claire Bear!