I must apologize because I obviously struck a chord with my post yesterday.
And I must agree wholeheartedly that this is a first world issue and definitely something to be very grateful for. I want to reiterate once again that we feel extremely blessed to have the opportunity to build a house for our family. I know there are many who would love to do the same thing and will never have the opportunity to do so. What I was trying, in my frazzled state to explain, (and obviously didn’t do a super job), was that in my heart I know all this “stuff” I’m running around like crazy trying to get done is just stuff after all. I’m trying to keep in perspective, lucky or grateful or not, what really matters.
But I had a wise friend tell me the other day that creating a home does matter. No matter whether we live in a grass hut in Africa, a make-shift metal home in Thailand or a large or small house right here in the States, we have the ability to make our homes glow with light from within. It doesn’t matter as much what our walls look like as it does that we make some place to kneel and pray with our families and to grow together in the best way we can. I love this quote by Winston Churchill: “We shape our dwellings, and afterwards, our dwellings shape us.” I do feel a certain desire to find the goodness in the seemingly materialistic “things” that take up my days lately. That’s why I’m so articulate about what I put on our walls (that post is back HERE). And now I’m expanding that to a house.
I know that what I wrote made some people feel bad and that would never be my intention. The trouble is that whether it’s shallow or not, I am in the middle of a huge project. I haven’t written about it just for the precise reason that became even more apparent in those comments yesterday: it makes people uncomfortable. But I have found over the last few months I can’t be as authentic as I want to be in my writing if I’m not telling the whole story. And without authenticity why am I even writing here? This is a record of our life, the good, the bad, the ugly and yes, sometimes the shallow. If I only tell parts of the story well then it’s not real and I am a real person. I finally decided I may as well include some things here because I want to remember this! I spend the majority of every day sweating it out over in that half-finished house talking to contractors and measuring walls and re-thinking decisions and then staying up until the wee hours of the morning trying to figure out how to finish things on Houzz.com or drawing up walls on graph paper. It takes so much of me right now. I don’t want to go back some day and think, hmmmm…that whole building thing must have been a cakewalk because all I have are pictures of sunsets and everyone smiling. I need the sawdust and heat and electrical wires included to make it whole.
So what I’d like to do is keep the house stuff separate so that those who have no interest in home-building can not be bothered by it. I’ve tried to create a different blog for those posts, but I realize I cannot keep up two blogs. So my new idea is to create a different tab for house stuff. Those who are interested can click there, and those who are not can blacklist that little thing:) But for better or for worse, I need the therapy of writing about it. And so many readers have expressed interest I want to share it somewhere. I’ll see what I can do about that.
In the meantime let’s check out these pictures my sister sent me that she found of my cute “boyfriend” I had back in my English days (that I wrote about back here). I think I was a little aggressive!