We got lucky enough to celebrate with most of our kids this Easter. The weekend was filled up with kids, grand babies, long walks and motherhood epiphanies. For me, amidst the glorying in being with all those people I love and beauty of the world, there were lots of thoughts about “moving to the bleachers.” Especially as graduation approaches for Lucy. And my motherhood stages just keep shifting.
Of course, there was lots of thought about Jesus too. I mean, it was Easter after all.
Sadly Carson’s work schedule didn’t work out to meet us, and man, we missed him and Elle! (Thank goodness for FaceTime.)
But we got to be with everyone else…plus the Easter Bunny.
Poor Easter Bunny’s eye, haha!
I will never take this togetherness for granted.
Moving to the Bleachers
I had worked so hard to wrangle everything together including Easter baskets and candy and little Murphy toys. Little kids are so fun on Easter!
But the older kids? How do you graduate from all the “fluff” of Easter for them and move on to something more sentimental? I did figure out a simple sentimental gift for my big kids that I’ll have to share later. For this post today I just have to say that part of me was in mourning missing those little girls lined up in matching dresses. Max in his matching sweater vest.
That brand of Easter delight that fills the air with younger children has vanished into thin air. Gone is the excitement for coloring Easter eggs and even egg hunts.
This is yet one more thing Dave and I are on the learning track to “move to the bleachers” in our parenting of adult kids journey.
I have to admit, this is hard for my mama heart. But I do love that we’ve made Holy Week such a big part of Easter over the years. That is something we can take with us to spread out on the “bleachers” AND on the “field.” And really, any part of building relationships, any kind of unconditional love we spread over our children? That can come with us too.
Dave told me he’d been thinking about how we have to help shift the Easter responsibilities to our kids. And he’s right, but it still made me emotional. It’s hard to ease up on my vice grip of traditions and pouring love into all these things for twenty-seven years. But again, through it all we have Jesus. And of course, that’s what it’s all about.,
An Easter Egg Hunt
Easter Traditions
Church Services
Church was so good and the speaker spoke right to my heart.
Mostly what hit me was that the speaker talked about why the resurrection matters to us. How does that change our lives? I loved his thoughts about one of my favorite scriptures. One that helped me with my decision to attend Boston University for my freshman year:
“Whatever principle of intelligence we attain unto in this life, it will rise with us in the resurrection.”
I just LOVE the thought that all the things we learn here on earth are building blocks to our souls. The hard, the joyful, the He talked about what we learn from being in the middle of trials and all the tough things that come our way in life are the building blocks to make us stronger. If we’ll rely on Christ who suffered all for us.
I loved it, and was hoping Lucy was listening. Boy, we would never in a million years choose this. But I get weepy when I think of all the grit and determination that is building in her that is going to help her through life. Especially with college coming up.
We were a tad bit of a ragged group showing up at church, half in an Uber since we only had one small car, complete with tennis shoes and fuzzy hair.
Missed the whole Easter dress thing, but I was pretty happy to be able to show up with whatever we had, some of us in an Uber, to worship together and learn more about Jesus.
Strings to Easter Baskets
Our Easter traditions, at least according to Lucy, are not allowed to be shifted yet. The “Easter Bunny” still had yarn (bless Dave’s heart) leading to the make-shift Easter baskets (one of them a “mixing cement” small bucket I found in the closet and another one an upside down sun hat).
So, as per tradition, we tripped over those things, and confused Murphy.
…and delighted Lu.
And another “of course,” eggs Benedict:
Because the big girls are not about to let this tradition go. We all crowded in that tiny kitchen to whip them up and I only got a tiny bit stressed at the end trying to get those things hot on the table.
Because I guess now Easter wouldn’t be Easter without it.
A Family Easter Devotional on the Beach
But my favorite part of all that togetherness?
We went and sat on the beach and basked in the beauty of the world. More importantly, we basked in the Easter lesson the kids were assigned to give while we kept Murph busy with her sand toys, and Ada took a snooze in her bassinet.
They each shared a thought from the Easter story and took it a little deeper asking questions.
And that was my favorite part of Easter.
That realization that they can derive their own meaning from all those spiritual things, and speak from their hearts. Gosh I love them.
Maybe “moving to the bleachers” isn’t so bad after all:)
Oh there will be continual shifting and changing. I had a little talk with Max and Abby as to how they want us to proceed with Easter and going forward. This will take lots of talks and communication.
But through all those growing pains I just kept thinking how lucky I am they are mine.
And Dave and I are theirs.
And they are each others.
Because of Jesus.
Please allow one small correction:
“we missed HIM and Elle” NOT
“we missed HE and Elle.
If I might suggest you and Charity study the difference between object and subject pronouns. You both use them incorrectly all the time. 😊
(Raised by an English teacher!) 😉
Haha I love it, thank you!
xoxo
“I had a little talk with Max and Abby as to how they want us to proceed with Easter and going forward. This will take lots of talks and communication.” – I’m not usually a commenter, but I am super curious about this, and why future Easter plans will need ‘lots of talks and communications’! I could be reading this wrong, but it sounds like there may be pressure on the kids to keep meeting up as a big group for holidays, when now they have their own families and potentially want to do things as a smaller unit sometimes? If it is that, I would say that that is a very natural shift. I realise it can probably feel sad for things to change, but IMO trying to force togetherness will only create less desire for it, in my experience! Apologies if I’m misreading the situation, though.
I read it to understand that she is asking them how they want to move forward with future holidays in light of their own families…definitely NOT the opposite of putting some pressure on them to keep doing something they may or may not want.
Shawni shows us in so many ways how to have grace and space and love as mothers and I’m sure that extends to her grown kids and their desires to do whatever it is they want and need as they grow their little families.
Oh I appreciate this question for clarification Jessica, because sometimes words on a screen don’t explain very well! I was just referring to a little side-conversation Max and Abby and I had. I want them to know I care about what THEY want to do on Easter, and in EVERY season. And we talked about how I hope they’ll always communicate if they think we’re overstepping or not stepping in enough. That’s just a kind of tricky balance as grandparents and we want to get it right. They are so good at it all and want any and all interaction at this stage. But will that change as those girls grow older? I just want them to know how much we respect their parenting the way they’re doing it.
There is no pressure for meeting up except maybe by them! 🙂 Max and Abby were the ones who planned to go to Newport first with those two little girls hoping we’d join them there. And how could we turn that down? Ha!
Jen, thanks for sharing your thoughts too! I’m glad what I was thinking came through.
It’s interesting because my parents were very hands-on with us when they had their first grandkids (in a great way). Max and Elle were their first grandkids and they were so excited as were my younger siblings. Dave’s parents were more hands-off in many ways yet SO full of love. They already had so many grandkids and their personalities are a little more reserved. And BOTH ways of being involved worked out so great for us. It’s just good to have that open communication as we maneuver life continuing to grow and blossom in different ways.
Anyway, thanks again for the question!
XOXO