As Lucy prepares to leave for college, I find myself holding a mix of emotions I can barely put into words. There is so much going on in my heart right now! The excitement, the fear, the letting go—it all feels heavier and more sacred somehow. Especially when your child has special needs and you know the road ahead won’t be simple.
So I’ve found myself doing one thing over and over again:
Praying for angels.
The Emotions of Sending Lucy to College
My emotions are mixed into things I will miss. Things like Lucy filling up the kitchen with the business of baking cookies. I will miss this. A small pile of flour on the floor. Ingredients all lined up in a row. The mess and the preciseness. Her timer going off. I ache because it will be gone. How will I remember how even this one small thing feels?
This business has been full of angst and joy all mixed together. The college prep takes on a whole different life when it is Lucy preparing. Things take longer. They have to happen organically. From how clothing feels to what bag is right to what must be done first on the to-do list. There is still so much to teach. Social cues. Grit is a gift and also a curse.
We take baby steps. I have willed myself into a durable object. Over and over as we prepare. And then, when I breathe, and help her breathe, our hearts come together. Sitting on her bed. Her artifacts of life lined up carefully just where she wants them in her bedroom. They will gather dust. Her room is sacred. So many books read snuggled together on her bed. Mountains of homework done with her eyes fixed inches from her work sitting at that desk.
How will it feel when that room is empty? The game cards gathering dust. The handles on the fridge smooth and clean? We play games every night in anticipation.
We bike one last time into the sunset. Her favorite.
The sunset on life as we know it.
Letting Go With Faith
How does a mother let her children go?
I think with help from all the villages. And this girl has many. There are so many people here on the blog who have loved and cheered on and prayed for this girl of mine through the years. I can’t tell you what that has meant to me as her mama.
I also think the only way moms can let go with faith is through praying for your child leaving for college. Reaching up to the One who I trust has them cradled in His love.
Praying for Angels
I have been praying for angels for the last few weeks. And asking everyone who asks about Lucy to join me. Because as we set this girl off for this new adventure she is going to need them. And I believe with all my heart that they are there.
I have been praying for them to show up in the form of roommates, teachers, friends. Strangers. Praying that she can be an angel too. Because oh, she is. This girl is golden.
Praying that not only can I see those angels and recognize them, but that she can too.
And as I pray, they have been showing up.
Right and left, and on every corner. Buoying her up.
Friends gathering for game nights. Taking her to a college-send-off lunch. Dropping off love. Her siblings asking questions. Quelling fears. Yes, there are angels everywhere.
As I send Lucy off to college, I’m holding tight to the hope that those angels will keep showing up—just as they always have.
She will need more as this journey begins. If anyone in this blogging village has extra prayers to share, we will take them. Thank you so much for all the love.
Sending it right back.
XOXO
More on Letting Kids Go and Sending Them to College
If you’re in this stage too, these posts may help as you navigate preparing, deciding, and letting go.
I am lifting that girl of your up in prayer. I am also praying for all of those Angels.
Thank you so much Paige!
xoxo
I just said a decade of the Rosary for Lucy! And I also have the refrain of the Catholic hymn “Be Not Afraid” in my head: Be not afraid/I go before you always/Come, follow me/and I shall give you rest.
I know we don’t share the same faith but know that Lucy has people from all sorts of faith traditions praying for her! May she be buoyed by the knowledge that God goes before her and is with her always — both literally and in through her family, community, and strangers alike!
This is the sweetest and I’m so grateful. I was so comforted by the “I shall give you rest,” we all need that about now. Thanks so much for the prayers.
xoxo
Lucy will have many angels surrounding her! Heavenly Father knows her and her heart! There will also be angels surrounding you as he knows you will worry. That is what us Mommas do! We want the best for our children.
Lucy is amazing and will do amazing things! She is blessed with an amazing family! You will all continue to love and support her!
She really is so amazing. I keep thinking in awe how incredible it is that she is so determined to do this very uncomfortable thing.
xoxo
Angel of God my Guardian dear ,
to whom God’s love , commits me here.
Ever this day be at my ( Lucy’s.) side , to light , to guard, to rule and to guide .Amen
What a sweet prayer, thank you so much Jo!
xoxo
Angels on earth and in heaven, ask the heavens and for angels on the other side of the veil to minister to her. I know they can.
I can only imagine how scary and how heart aches. Thinking of you!
Yes I feel them on both sides! So grateful for the buoying up of so many!
xoxo
I’m not very religious, but I believe prayer helps. Praying and pulling for Lucy. Of all the chances to take, that she chose college (away from home!) is nothing short of extraordinary. I pray she will find a community.
I believe it helps too, and can almost tangibly feel all these prayers. THANK YOU! I keep praying she’ll find a community as well. There are so many ups and downs going on and oh! She would so love even just one good friend.
xoxo
Recently my service hearted daughter shared how she helped out at the testing center. She doesn’t like to share her service because it isn’t “service” to her, it’s more “Soul lift”. Her favorite moment was helping a student who couldn’t see. She explained the sweet banter between them and the joy it brought her to try and figure out how to help best. I was so proud of her and instantly thought of you and Lucy. I know there will be angels for your girl, because believe it or not, the student needing help was just as much an angel for mine that day.
I hope Lucy will run into many like your daughter. She already has, in fact. It’s incredible. I believe Lucy can be an angel too, at least when she’s in a good mood! Oh so praying for that!
xoxo
Sending prayers from Canada. What a courageous and brave girl you have!
And what a courageous and brave mother she has!!
Thanks so much Jane!
xoxo
It is an honor to pray for one another. Bearing our hearts . I am praying for Lucy. I am praying for your family and for the angels to circle… to guide… to walk aside . God Bless you and Lucy. Thinking about you and this next chapter. Sending Love!
Thank you Cindy. Thanks for praying for the angels for us as her family as well. Sometimes they’re difficult to recognize but they are really all around. And I love to think of that!
xoxo
Praying for Lucy & you from the UK. x
I hope Lucy settles into college ok.
I know that Heavnly Father will watch over her. x
Thank you sweet Julie!
xoxo
I’m not the most obedient sheep in the flock (I’m the one in the way back, always dirty, eating the wrong grass, in perpetual danger of tumbling off of a cliff) but I’ll keep Lucy and you in my prayers.
Oh Kimberly I love this, we can all relate, and I’m sending you so much love right back. Thanks so much for the prayers and sharing love.
xoxo
Look at this comment section! What a beautiful sight. There are so many good people in this world. What a gift to bring them together, in whatever way speaks to their soul, to uplift and bless this family. This has renewed my faith in humanity today.
Me too, Lisa! So grateful there is just so much good!!
xoxo
Prayers and love sent, people will help and lift her and she will do the same for them.
Thank you Larissa!
xoxo
Praying for angels to surround Lucy and you and your family as she steps into this new chapter. I live in the Logan area and love this community, I believe you mentioned she will be going to USU. It’s such a fun smaller community. I can’t help but think that as we all lift you and Lucy in prayer that there might be those praying that might need Lucy in their life at USU. God really is in the details. God knows each of us and I know He’s aware of your girl. Sending love to you and all those mamas moving into new chapters.
I believe that so much, Brooke! I have seen Him in the details over and over and over again as we have been up here dropping her off. I need to keep a list of all the times I have recognized that. Maybe it will help me balance out all the times there is black hopelessness. This is such tricky business! Thanks so much for the reassurance and love. Keep an eye out for Lucy!
xoxo
I will definitely keep an eye out for her. One of our older YW is a freshman at USU this year. She’s a super friendly, kind girl. I’ll tell her to keep an eye out for Lucy too.
Praying for Lucy and for you also. Praying for angels and praying for an incredible 1st year for her.
Thanks so much Lea!
xoxo
Praying for Lucy in Rhode Island
THanks Christine, sending love right on back to Rhode Island!
xoxo
This post and the comments made me tear up. We are all routing for and praying for Lucy. In college I volunteered with services for students with disabilities. I will never forget Jason—he was legally blind and doing amazing in college. Sometimes I would type out papers for him that he would dictate, other times I would just guide him around campus. I’m sure the technology for the vision impaired has improved, but maybe her school will have a similar service.
My heart goes out to you as well—seeing your baby off after so many years of love and determination to do all you could for her. ❤️
I bet Jason is still so grateful for your service. That is just incredible and I wish Lucy had someone like that! She is having trouble accepting any help at the moment and I sure hope she’ll eventually learn to let those “angels” like you were to Jason in!
xoxo
I am with Mariana, tearing up at the comments in this post. THANK YOU for all the love and support. I can honestly feel tangible love stretching to us as we work to navigate these mountains to climb. We have so many question marks as we head into this new journey. Dave and I keep looking at each other wondering HOW this is going to all work. But the angels are showing up every day. And I just hope Lucy will keep her eyes open to them and accept them. She can use all the prayers she can get as she bravely sets off on this adventure, so please keep them coming if you have prayers to spare.
Thank you for being MY angels to buoy us all up as we maneuver all this. I am sending so much love right on back!
XOXO
I am not religious but recently started praying anyways when my friend who is LDS gave me permission in a very hard time
My prayers now go to Lucy
She and you are so so much goodness
May she shine and have others shine upon her ❤️
Oh I LOVE you Tarina, So grateful you found prayer, and that you are sending some to Lucy. We can feel them.
XOXO
“Dave and I keep looking at each other wondering HOW this is going to all work.”
Just think about all those other things she’s done in the past few years — things you’ve shared with us, and I’m sure there are other things. I bet for every one of those things you thought ‘HOW is this going to work?!’ and it worked out beautifully. I am absolutely certain that it will again. 🙂
She has so many Internet Aunties out here rooting for her!!
This. I keep thinking about these words you shared over and over and over again. Yes. Sometimes we need to look back and recognize how all those “hows” came to be. I appreciate this more than I can say.
xoxo
Goooo Lucy! So proud of you and I always learn so much from you. You will do great things! Thanks for sharing this part of the journey. We love you!!!! 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼
Supporting you close by In Ogden!
Thank you sweet Amanda!!
xoxo
Yes! Praying for Lucy that she may do well and thrive and praying for you to know peace about her next adventure.
Thank you Thank you!
xoxo
Look at all of Lucy’s cheerleaders here in the comments! Praying for her – and you too!
Thanks Tracy! She is so lucky to have this village of pray-ers!! Means so very much!
xoxo
Praying for Lucy this prayer I always pray for my child.
Lord, hover around Lucy. Hover around here where she is now. Hover around her wherever she goes. Send angels to walk in front of her, beside her and behind her. Send angels to surround her.
Oh I love this so much and sending up that same prayer as she’s trying to maneuver her second day. I hope she feels all the prayers. Thank you thank you!
xoxo