Preparing for your son’s wedding is an interesting journey as a mother—the details, the emotions, and all the little things in between. And underneath it all is something deeper: the realization that you really have to let that boy of yours go.
This was our experience in the days leading up to Max’s wedding.
And, like many things in life, you can’t really gauge how that will all pan out until you’re right smack-dab in the middle of it.
The Details Behind the Celebration
As I write about all this, I want to emphasize that although there were a lot of details that went into the party/celebration (like what seemed like ten gazillion), the most beautiful part of the whole process…what it was all really about…was sitting in the temple watching those two be sealed together forever and ever. All the rest of this stuff is just fluff. Some not-so-fun fluff, some very fun fluff, some deep and wonderfully beautiful fluff, but the heart of the whole deal was that ceremony. And I’ll always hold it in my heart as one of my favorite memories ever…Max and Abby just beaming in that beautiful place, committing themselves to each other.
Back to the fluff a little for this post though 🙂
Since the celebration was at our house, Max and Abby were in the middle of finals (plus Abby had mono of all things…can you believe that??), and her family was in Texas away from where we needed to get things done, we got to work around here (with M&A and Abby’s family helping as much as they could from where they were). We rounded up a whole bunch of beautiful things to help adorn the yard for the big night.
Surrounded by So Much Help
We are so lucky to have good friends with beautiful candle lanterns, tablecloths, picture frames, easels, etc. that we borrowed to spiff everything up. I don’t know how we would have pulled this all off without the help of everyone in our “village.” A couple friends dropped off dinners, people came out of the woodwork asking what they could do to help, it was pretty non-stop and I will never know how to thank everyone enough!
One example of many: our friend made this big wall of hexagons for their daughter’s wedding, and they gave part of that big wall to Grace to put in her room. But transporting back here from California it needed to be fixed up a little and we never got around to it. It was dusty in our garage until my sweet friend came over and knew I kind of wanted to use it for the wedding party, picked it up, worked with her husband to attach the pieces that broke off, gave it a fresh paint job, and brought it back delivered right to us all spick and span.
Here’s a little peek as to how it looked on the big night:
Some Extra Wedding Details
But then I realized how silly that would be, way too much other stuff to do.
So I tried Texas Targets where Abby’s family was coming from. No luck there either. So I tried Utah where my family was coming from…finally found one mid way between two towns my parents HAPPENED to be driving right by, and they snatched it up for me. Ha!
Here’s how the wreaths looked when we were done:
Sarah, Abby’s mom wrapped those letters with moss.
Just one tiny example of all the countless silly little things that went into getting that yard all decked out.
On to other things, it was kind of fun to have boxes show up like this practically every day:
My friend who lived in China before we did manufactures the best ties!
Another friend offered to have cups made for the hot chocolate bar. (She and her husband own a dessert supply company.) Love how they turned out:
(12-20-2018 was on the back). They have a frozen desserts website if you want to take a look. Thank you Tim and Stephanie!
We got those and 593 other things wrapped up, plus as much Christmas as I could gather together so we wouldn’t have to scramble after the wedding. I was pretty bound and determined not to turn into a crazy person in those days before the wedding and before Christmas. There was no way I was going to let the little things take away the beauty of those two events wrapped right in together. So I worked my tail off to be organized and get things done early and I must admit I really did surprise myself with all the things I crossed off my list!
The Arrival of the Bride & Groom
And THEN, it was time for the guests of honor to arrive:
They also had mountains of things to do before the wedding. They had to move out of both their apartments, deal with final projects and assignments, take finals (early), find a new apartment, blah blah blah…all the stuff you have to do before you get married. And then there was that darn mono diagnosis. Yep, right after Thanksgiving she found out why she was feeling so awful, right at the end of the semester with all those big tests and assignments on the line. She was SO sick! But I tell you, that girl is a strong one, and she finally started to feel a little better right before the wedding.
And both these kids were glowing when we picked them up from the airport.
These girls were all glowing too, because they pretty much think Max and Abby can walk on water.
As we stood there, gathered in a huddle of happiness waiting for their bags to arrive I had a great moment where I dropped my phone and it shattered. Adding to the collection of shattered phones we have around here.
Pretty awful, right? We are not very good at this. Dang it! Mine is the bottom left and it had little glass shards coming out when I tried to use it. Not the best addition to all the wedding stuff we were preparing for!
The Giving Machine
We were all starving so we went right to lunch…and to the Giving Machine that is so cool!
Elle was home by then too (hooray!), so we had one precious night with our entire family.
What did we do? Played cards, of course.
(I think they did that every night pre-wedding.)
Max and Abby got their marriage license:
Meeting the In-Law Family
My favorite part was that all their kids and our kids got along like they had been best friends all their lives.
Then it was on to work, work, work to get the last little things shaped up.
Last Things to Shape Up
Abby’s little brothers jumped in and were SO polite and eager to help any way they could.
Prepping the Yard for the Wedding
So I put them to work showing them how to trim vines:
…and plant flowers:
Love them. Thank you Gavin and Ethan!!
Braces off as Part of the Wedding Prep!
In the midst of all this a very exciting thing happened: Claire got some hardware removed from her teeth.
Oh yeah.
(That is our family friend who works there…and behind him is our friend who is the orthodontist and one of Dave’s best friends growing up…he’s partners with the kid with Claire’s Dad. How’s that for confusing? Ha! Just wanted to give Garn/Mason a shout out!)
Claire was SO excited (as were the rest of us) and got to go show off her new smile when we went to meet all the girls for pre-wedding pedicures:
I know I have a pic of Abby’s family too…but I cannot find it so this will have to do for now:
Fun times right there.
These kids hung together like bees to honey, loved it:
Meanwhile, Bo couldn’t figure quite what all the fuss was about.
(Thanks Kara!)
Meeting the Temple Sealer
Ok, so this is kind of a special thing. The guy who sealed Max and Abby at the temple is one of Dave’s best-growing-up-around-the-corner friend’s dad. (And not to make this even more confusing than it is, but that friend is the orthodontist in the above picture if you want to boggle your mind:)
ANYWAY, Dave looks up to this man so much and we felt so grateful we got to go visit with him and his wife a couple days before the wedding. Wanted Max and Abby to get to know him and him to get to know them and we had a pretty beautiful visit sitting in their family room under the twinkling Christmas lights.
(Abby’s Dad, Lance was still not quite to town, darn it, but we filled him in well;)
Family Dance Parties
Then it was on to more dance parties at our house.
A New Daughter-in-Law
Love those two.
We had the funniest errands to run, just Sarah, Max and Abby and I…long story but it involved going to the wrong house and some funny wedding prep (just some little inside jokes I want to remember) and then we got home to my parents who had arrived:
WooHOO!
Although my Dad somehow missed that picture…
Here’s another girl who thinks her new sis-in-law (and brother) are pretty cool:
Lance arrived (Abby’s dad, below left), and we took a minute to watch the awesome video Grace made of Max and Abby and some little interviews of how they met.
(I’ll attach that tomorrow when I write about the wedding dinner…I hope!)
Coordinated Wedding Party Dance Prep
And then all these kids gathered to put the finishing touches on their “coordinated dance” they decided they were going to do at the post-wedding celebration.
Again, these are blurry out-takes, but you get the idea:
Ok, and on to the Eyres who arrived late that night and we went to visit the next morning:
Then it was on to the bridal shower.
The back yard starting to get all fancied up:
So excited to see all the wedding stuff!
this is so exciting!!! can't wait to read all the rest of it and see more pictures!
Soooo sweet, I love how she has just fit straight in with your family ! How did Elle feel about Max getting married so soon? I know they were so close! Soo many questions I want to ask lol
How did you feel with Abi being so young ?
What was your favourite thing about the wedding? ( apart from the Temple)
Did you have any freak out moments when they told you ?
Did you know it would happen ? So many questions lol
Good questions!
Elle was right in on the jaw-dropping with the rest of us, but she sure loves Abby! I'm so glad she got to be here a little before the wedding and that she had a couple opportunities to get to know Abby before the big day as well.
I wrote a lot about how I feel about them both being so young and also how I felt when Max moved toward getting so serious with dating back here: https://71toes.com/2018/10/a-boy-meets-girl.html
I explained a little back there, but I did feel like this was going to happen kind of near the start…I think that's why I was freaking out a little 😉
Hmmm…favorite thing about the wedding was the temple for sure, but also just the whole feeling of peace around the choice that those two made. I'm so grateful for that peace that kept surrounding me every time I started to gear up in stress. It was my favorite to watch them just glow.
Sorry, I posted not realizing my super private family blog was linked to my profile. I had to make it public to print my book, and I didn't realize-so I deleted thinking it would remove my post, but it left my profile and link! UGH!
I am super happy for Max and Abby. They are so sweet together- you can see it in their eyes. I'm happy you had awesome friends to help you with all the prep work. It is a lot of work and your back yard looks amazing! What a beautiful setting.
Thank you! Yes, we were so so grateful for so many people who helped so much!
Thanks for posting and sharing the behind the scenes pics. Super exciting!!! It’s beautiful to see so many people pitch in. You guys rock! Looks like a lot of fun as well. Keep posting pics. You create wonderful memories for your children and those around you. Everything looks amazing!!!!
I’ve been a long time reader, and can’t believe Max is married! It seems like such a busy time to try to have a wedding, was there a reason for it to take place so quickly? I ask because my cousin’s daughter just recently got engaged and the wedding isn’t until April 2020. I find longer engagements to be pretty common these days and wondered if the rush to marriage is a LDS thing? I am Catholic.
Looking forward to more photos! Thanks for sharing!
I think there are so many reasons, it is definitely a part of the LDS culture, but not the doctrine. We believe in personal revelation and for my husband and I, that meant all the preparation of knowing we wanted to marry each other came before our engagement. So when we were preparing for the wedding it was more important for us to find time around our school schedules. We also follow a law of chastity where we commit to not having sexual relations before marriage, so there is no living together before marriage and I think that is part of it as well.
Glad you asked because it made me really think about the why!
Thanks for your answer!
Thank you Heather! Couldn't have said it better.
xoxo
Also, Max and Abby knew volleyball would be a big time commitment in the winter semester and they decided they'd rather be married through it than not.
I think the reason people have longer engagements is cause it can take a year to find a hall and church free for both the bride and groom schedules and to save up for the reception costs. I bet LDS are wondering why it takes so long to actually marry once engaged for everyone else. Unlike a parish that has one or two weddings on the weekends the LDS temples are set up to do many services most days of the week. With ward buildings for the reception or simply an at home thing there isn’t that same scehduling issue. No alcohol the food/drink expense the wedding reception isn’t the size of a down payment.
Good points. I think every wedding is just so different and is catered to those who are getting married.
Off subject— but i love your sectional. Would you mind sharing where it is from? I love the color. Seems like it can hide dirt and pet friendly?!
I think you're talking about the couches in our family room…not a sectional but maybe they look like one. They are from Thrive Furniture which unfortunately looks like it went out of business.
What impressed me so much is just the very down to earth, community effort this whole wedding seems to be. I know I’m just looking at pictures — but I’m so touched by all of the friends and family pitching in, the thriftiness of re-using some wedding displays from other weddings and the use of your beautiful backyard for the rehearsal party and the reception. Way to go! And going by your pictures it seems like your new daughter n law is naturally adirable inside and out and fits right in. I know some people bring up how they have trouble relating to your blog because of your nice home and all of your travels. Seems like you are able to do that because you make mindful and financially wise decisions along the way.
Thank you! Abby is certainly so easy to incorporate into the family we love her so much. And I'm with you on being touched by all the helping friends and family. Overwhelmed still thinking about the beauty of all that service.