This past summer before our reunion I wrote an email to my family detailing the latest things Lucy was struggling with. I asked each of them to explain to their children that Lucy was/is a little extra emotional…I didn’t want them to be caught off-guard by one of her outbursts. Cousins are core and have the potential to give so much love to each other in unique ways, and I know Lucy needed them to try to understand, rather than stand there with gaping mouths if she lashed out in one of her tough moments.
The reunion was great, and I’m so grateful for those good cousins who are so sweet to each other (Lucy included), and that we as parents can help nurture that kindness in so many ways. I know that some kids are just born with natural intuition as to how someone else is feeling, but perhaps much of kindness comes from taught awareness. And example.
But what I want to talk about today is the experience my sister Saydi told me about when she talked to her kids about Lucy’s situation. She told them that she envisioned Lucy as a glowing beautiful spirit in Heaven. And when God told her His plans for her: that she would have some struggles with a syndrome called BBS, she valiantly accepted with the knowledge that she could do it! She painted such a beautiful picture of Lucy accepting what those trials may bring her in life, and a beautiful willingness to go and do what God wanted her to do in order to help her learn what she needed to. And that she would be able to help others learn specific things that would build them up in many ways as well. When Saydi told me about that little talk with her kids, both of us were in tears. It was all so beautifully put (Saydi is beautiful inside and out that way).
I love to think about how God sees us. How He sees my children. How He sees me. It’s so easy to be down on ourselves as we compare and hit roadblocks and struggle through the trenches. And there’s something so beautiful about envisioning God seeing us in such a different way than we often see ourselves. So much more than what we see on the surface.
Which brings me, finally, to my point:
Last Sunday Grace got a special blessing. It was a blessing from a man we call a “Patriarch,” someone who is given this special opportunity to give blessings to those who request them. It is meant to give divine direction and love from God. I have loved being with each of my three oldest children for these blessings…all given during their senior year in high school (doesn’t have to be then, that’s just what they chose). During those blessings it is so easy to catch a glimpse into what God sees in my (also His) children, glowing and beautiful in His eyes. A peek into that Heavenly beauty and what He can see in them.
Their divine potential.
And Grace’s was no exception.
One thing I loved most about her blessing was that the Patriarch told her before we began that the blessing wasn’t just the words. It was the feelings she felt prompted with as he said the words. And that she should remember those feelings and keep them close. Write them down and remember them. I loved that.
As he gave that blessing and talked about how God would be intertwined in her life as she seeks Him, I couldn’t help but see a little glimpse of how He sees her: radiant and glowing in a way that is unfathomable in this life. She is so beautifully valiant. Made my heart knit to hers more than ever before and thank God forever for sending her glowing spirit into our family. That I get to be her mother. I could almost sense the things she will do as she makes herself willing to follow the promptings to build and connect and love as He wants her to. Just as Lucy will in her own way, that glowing spirit seeping out of her earthly body here and there, and as all of us can if we will just remember.
Remember that we are His. And even on the days where all is black and sorrowful around us, when we make poor decisions and mess up in every different way, His hand is outstretched. He sees our glow and is cheering for us to kindle and build, and He is there to help if we will only ask.
It just made me so grateful to feel His love. For Grace and for myself, for Dave nestled in beside me listening to that glorious blessing with light seeping out into that room last Sunday.
God is good.