One week a month or so ago when I was at the end of my “parenting rope,” my sister told me about something her yoga instructor had said during a recent class. They were trying to hold a complicated pose and the instructor had said, “don’t worry if you lose balance and fall out of pose, just recompose yourself and try again.”
So simple, right?
But in sharing that story my sister helped me remember that it was ok I was having a crappy parenting week, I had just slipped out of my “parenting pose.” I could recompose myself and find it again.
Last week Lucy came home from school all lit up and chatty.
I was in the middle of trying to coordinate something for Relief Society and stood stooped over my phone trying to text but also trying to listen haphazardly to what she was saying, offering a distracted “uh-huh” or “really?’ here and there.
After a few minutes she left to do her homework and I realized, too late, that I had just missed out on a beautiful opportunity to look into her eyes and listen.
Oh this is not the first time this has happened, and sadly I know it won’t be the last. I went to find her, ready to really listen but she was on to the next thing, the moment was gone.
I had lost my “pose.”
How many times in life do we “lose our pose!” We start a new exercise routine that doesn’t last, we make new goals we don’t keep, we don’t “show up” in the ways we desire.
But you know what? That’s ok! That’s all part of being human. We all go through phases where we feel like we can conquer the world…oh, our “pose” is so on pointe! And then we lose balance.
The point is to just keep trying.
And also to realize when we’ve fallen out of pose so we can learn to do it differently next time.
There is this beautiful painting I have hanging in my closet where I see it every day:
It is a mother putting all her strength and energy into her baby (I wrote a post about that painting in much more detail back HERE.) She is in the “parenting pose” if there ever was one. I mean, just look at those muscles trying to focus on her responsibility!
But that inverted tension just can’t last forever.
We have to give ourselves a break every now and again.
And then recompose and try again.
I’m so grateful for second chances.