Gathering the Sisters I Married Into

Over the course of a week and a half in California, I had the chance to gather three different circles of women who have shaped my life in different ways. Each gathering was unique, but each reminded me how powerful it is when women take time to connect, share, and learn from each other. This second gathering was with the women I married into — my mother-in-law and sisters-in-law. (You can read about the other gatherings here: Three Generations of Women and High School Friends Who Feel Like Sisters.

These sisters-in-law and my mother-in-law have shaped my life in ways I never could have predicted when I first joined their family and probably scarcely said a word. Ha! I think I was still in my shy days back then, and they were the best to encircle me in.

I had wanted to gather these women honestly for years. But what made it really happen was that my mother-in-law was at my house one day a while back. She mentioned how much she needs us daughters. She has no sisters left and as we know, there is power in connection. Especially when life gets so busy we forget the importance of togetherness. So I extended the invitation, and it worked!

Gathering With My Mother-in-Law and Sisters-in-Law

Boy do I ever love these sisters-in-law and a mother-in-law who are not only family but friends and mentors as well.

I believe God orchestrated these days to be together. I really do. A mid-week gathering is usually difficult. But the stars somehow aligned and all but Dave’s sister Carol Lynn were able to come. Oh we sure missed her with all our hearts, but tried our best to keep her in the loop as we shared our “favorite things” with links and love. And because we were missing one, we’ll have to do it again, right? 🙂

I looked around one evening while we prayed together and felt overwhelmed with gratitude. Not only do I get to belong to the family I grew up in, but also this family I married into — women who believe in God, who are trying to grow, and who share their hearts so openly. God sure must not have thought much of me to give me all these easy and strengthening relatives. (That phrase is from a parenting story my dad likes to share, but goes for in-laws too, I believe;)

We took the Duffy to Lido Village, ate dinner at Mama D’s, walked the boardwalk, and sat on the beach watching the sun go down.

And all the while we talked.

We talked sitting on the Duffy:

Gathered on those blue couches:

(So late that some of us were a bit tired, ha!)

And walking on that sun-drenched boardwalk, we talk, talk, talked.

Sharing our “Favorite Things”

Before everyone came, I asked each of them to bring one of their “favorite things” to share — a quote, scripture, idea, or thought that had been meaningful to them.

And every one of them came through with that assignment, weaving so much gold into our discussions.

This was not all in one evening. Those favorite things were squeezed into all the nooks and crannies of our time together and I loved them all.

“Favorite Things”

Marva: Proverbs 3:5-6, 2 Nephi 31:20, 1 Corinthians 2:9….She shared these scriptures that have shaped her life and got very serious proclaiming “God knows everything” with that signature twinkle in her eye.
Christy: testimony vs conversion, the oil and the lamp, how are we becoming more converted every day?
Angela: “All is Well in My Soul” song, hearing the background and then listening to it together
Shawni: quote from Theo of golden and also Little Saints Saydi had read us (more on these in a post coming soon)
Julie: the story of Jesus taking time with the woman with the issue of blood en route to heal Jairus’s daughter. What do we miss when we’re so focused on the “getting there”?
Laurel: TALK acronym for conversations on the beach from a book she recommended…trying to be more present and curious
Kara: primary songs and how much they have the power to influence us (we all had a lot to say about this!)
Annie: the mindset model of how thoughts are our free agency and we have the power to change our lives with them (while sitting around Thai food at dinner).

I could do a whole blog post on each of those thoughts. And I will on some of them coming up. Each led to a good discussion, bringing up thoughts, memories and new ideas.

There is nothing like TIME as a gift for connection.

Conversations About Parenting and Life

We talked about raising children — how to help kids want to grow from the inside instead of relying on outside pressure.

I loved hearing their wise thoughts about a phrase I’m getting ready to write a blog post about that I’ve sure been thinking about lately: “Our job as parents is to make our kids’ lives BETTER, not EASIER.”

Loved Marva’s story of her brother encouraging her on her grades when she was little.

A parent to child: “every time I give you something I’m taking something away.”

Financial literacy and how important that is to kids.

So many good things to think about.

Little Moments I Want to Remember

–We saw a humpback whale swimming SO close to shore while we were talking on the beach one night and three of us JUMPED up to run follow it along that orangey sunset horizon.

–This mother-in-law and her wisdom and how she has raised us in many ways, even those of us not related by blood. I love all she has taught us through the years with so much love in her twinkly eyes.

–Exploring Lido Village on such a perfect equilibrium sunny afternoon.

–A sunset walk to the end of the Balboa pier, huddled around a bag full of hot fries from Ruby’s to keep us warm while basking in the glow of the evening sky.

–I talked a couple sisters into a polar plunge one morning, and we felt so alive.

I didn’t get up before the sunrise (part of my sunrise challenge) these days. But I did get to slip out by myself while it was still early some mornings, the sun still slanged enough to create the most beautiful shadows.

It was so sad to say goodbye to Theo of Golden when I finished one morning by myself encircled by all this beauty. So much goodness in a life learning through mistakes and what to hold onto. More on that book coming soon, it is SO GOOD.

From in-law sisters to high school “sisters”

On the last day I made three airport drop-offs with these friends who are my sisters. And took one last bike ride with one of them before the last airport run. We got to stop and admire this gorgeous tree.

I love the tree as a symbol of families…the branches and the roots, all nourishing each other.

This was followed by a “sacred grove” conversation with that last sister. All about our kids and life and what we want to give as “inheritances.”

Loved walking into the condo to find my first two high school friends, Marie and Sara, who had arrived while we were gone. They gave the best welcoming response. We had a very entertaining (and stinky) discovery as to why the rental van was so foul-smelling while taking Christy to the airport with Marie and Sara in tow.

Din Tai Fung for dinner and talk, talk, talking on the couch until late. More to come on that next group of women.

The Power of Gathering Women

I feel so grateful for the chance to gather with women I love — something that always reminds me how powerful gatherings of women can be. We need these relationships. And sometimes relationships take time.

This time with my mother-in-law and sisters-in-law reminded me that family is something we can grow into with intention and grace.

And then there was the family I chose long before adulthood — a gathering with my high school girlfriends.

Related Posts:

• Three Generations of Women
• Lifelong Friendships