three things I’ve learned about traditions and routines

Let’s talk about traditions and routines. Because I got this question that made me think about it:

I know your family has a lot of traditions and routines. What traditions did you start when they were young? Or which do you wish you would have started?

Oh the answer to this question could be very lengthy.

Especially as I am in a time of life when I’m trying to hold onto this “younger motherhood” business as it slips quietly yet steadily out of my grasp.

Routines

There are so many things I thank my lucky stars that we did, and are doing. Family dinners, scriptures in the mornings (comes up in all those annual “snapshots”), and Family Home Evening, Fasting Club just to name a few (I wonder if my kids even remember how hard we worked on those things though??) And there are so many other things I wish I would have thought of. Things I’ve learned through the years from others that would have been so awesome. There are things I wish I would have been a little more low-key about. I mean, really, does a three-year-old need to be on a soccer team?? (Ha! I know there are people out there who love that, and they do look pretty cute in those little outfits I have to say!) And others I wish I could hold onto forever.

Traditions

As anyone who has read this blog for a while knows, we are big believers in traditions around here.

From holiday traditions (painting eggs and Jerusalem supper and the 4th of July), to food traditions (eggs Benedict to ocean pancakes to chicken tikka to our fav. place to eat out), to spiritual traditions (“fasting club” and family testimony meeting). (Lots more traditions HERE.)

And Dave is a routine guy, so we have all become somewhat “routine oriented.” (Dave may disagree with that one, he thinks we still have a lot of work to go, ha!)

Back to my question above though, do our kids really even remember so many of those things? Sure, they do remember some. But do THEY think all the things I thought were important are important?

I don’t know. But I have learned some important things through the years that I want to share. Here are three of them.

Three Things I’ve Learned About Traditions and Routines:

1) You can fill up your family time with all kinds of things. And what those things are doesn’t matter nearly as much as whether they are filled up to the brim with LOVE.

You can never start too early on traditions that infiltrate love. I thought we started family testimony meeting too early, family home evening, when kids were running around like crazy maniacs and we couldn’t get anyone’s attention. But I look back and feel so glad for the PROCESS of it all. Because the intention was fueled by love. And I think that matters.

The feelings are what they are going to remember, not really the actually things they did. If they felt loved and safe, you can bet those are good things.

(But really, we did probably start Family Testimony Meetings too early, ha!:)

2) You will make mistakes, and that is ok!

No one is going to get this gig perfect. It’s all part of the journey. I started all my kids in sports too early in my opinion. I pushed my older kids too much. Sometimes I worry I’m pushing my younger kids not enough. But it’s all part of the process. I believe fully in a “God of second chances,” and every day is a new slate. I think kids are resilient enough to give us second chances too!

3) “Life is long”

This is one of my very favorite quotes from my very wise mother. Because it’s so easy to get frustrated while trying to establish good family routines and traditions. It’s easy to think they should all just come together. I mean, you see them in other families “getting it right” surrounding you. Especially with social media blasting all kinds of apparent perfection from our screens. I always envisioned things would be like what my growing-up family had evolved into. I wanted to have meetings that weren’t chaotic and I wanted to get it all right. But two things:

• Establishing traditions take TIME.
• You will never get things “just right.” Life is filled up with continual progress and setbacks. If we expect things to just fall into place we’ll just be frustrated. Things will evolve, and that will happen even more beautifully if you listen and act on the “nudges” in your days. Especially when you begin it with a prayer and seek guidance from above. I’ve done great at this at some points in my life and horrible at others. But I just keep trying.

I believe God is in the details.

Every family is going to come from different angles. Every family will prioritize different things. Every family sees the world a little bit different.

But everyone, no matter what, needs to know they matter.

And what an incredible thing to learn enveloped in the midst of a family!