What Japanese World Cup Fans Taught Me About Raising Kids Who Pitch In

I’ve been thinking about teaching kids to pitch in, building unity and hard work lately. Especially in light of this news coverage of Japanese fans at the World Cup:

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I mean, is that not the most beautiful thing? Fans cleaning up after a sporting event even though it keeps them there late, because that’s what’s good for our community? And also our unity.

I loved it.

Why Teaching Kids to Pitch In Matters

And it doesn’t stop at home. Those Japanese fans are proof that the habit of pitching in, when taught young, spills out into communities, stadiums, and the world. Kids who learn to contribute at home naturally look for ways to contribute everywhere.

Recently Abby sent of my barely three-year-old granddaughter Murphy vacuuming recently. I just have a screenshot, but I love how that little girl, maneuvering that huge vacuum, is putting in work to be a contributing member of her family.

I believe that does something to the heart of kids. Gives them a sense of belonging.

As a side-note, I talked in my Saturday chores post about a study from the University of Minnesota that found one of the biggest predictors of success for adults in their twenties. It wasn’t the amount of education or prestige. It was whether they learned to contribute to household tasks (I’m sure community help and involvement count) starting in their preschool years. And it makes sense, right? Teaching kids to pitch in so they can see needs that need to be accomplished, and working together to make them happen are so important! And feeling that sense of accomplishment when they’re done is powerful.

Anyway, that little Murphy, along with those Japanese soccer fans, are learning they are part of something bigger than themselves.

And it’s such a huge benefit when we recognize that.

They are learning that when we pitch in and respect what is ours our world is not only a better place, but we are happier. (Did you see the smiles on those Japanese fans’ faces? I LOVED it!)

The Con of Not Teaching Kids to Pitch In: Entitlement

The con of NOT pitching in and helping out? And not having this be an expectation?

Entitlement.

I recently came across this post I wrote about a simple experience where I felt entitlement seeping into our kids. I did not like it one bit. It was a small moment, but one that really made me question our parenting tactics.

Were we doing too much for our kids?

How could we set up realistic expectations?

How could we train our kids to rise to the occasion of pitching in to help without being asked?

And guess what? I’m STILL asking myself this question every day. But I have learned a thing or two that has helped.

Ideas to Get Kids (Even Adult Kids!) to Pitch In

Work together to see what needs to be done

Having assigned after-dinner chores is awesome and important. But sometimes it’s great to sit at the table together after dinner and have kids look around and notice what needs to be done. And then get to work.

This is one of my very favorite videos when we did this when our kids were little:

Yes, teaching kids to pitch in and working together brings happiness for sure!

Make a simple “bubble job chart” on the spot

Often when we were getting ready for something, whether having guests over or leaving on a trip or needing some extra Saturday projects done I would (and sometimes still do!) write up a “bubble job chart.” I would write down all the tasks that needed to be done. I would put a “bubble” by each task. Then I’d let the kids put their initials in the bubbles next to the ones they wanted to do. This way they could see the big picture of the work to be done and would work together to make it happen. They would fill in that bubble when they were done.

What to do when kids resist pitching in

Of course, pitching in doesn’t always come naturally. When kids push back, I’ve found that working alongside them rather than just assigning and walking away makes all the difference. There’s something about a parent rolling up their sleeves too that communicates “we’re in this together” and that’s really the whole point.

Step back and admire a job well done

Stepping back and admiring a job well done is such an important part of helping kids realize when they pitch in they are helping the “whole.” Sometimes we’re so quick to cross tasks off the list. Then we move on to the next thing that we forget admiring a job well done is a beautiful thing. I hope my kids will remember the times when I would stop for a moment after our work was done and admire. Take pride in a clean room, a lawn beautifully mowed, or a sparkling bathroom. And note how good that feels to have worked together to make that happen.

I came across this scripture recently:

“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6.

I still remember the first time one of my older kids, without being asked, stopped to help a younger sibling with their chore. That was the moment I knew the training was working and it was worth every hard, repetitive day of it. I watch them today still reaching out to each other. And pitching in together. It makes me realize that little scripture is true.

Of course it’s best to start when kids are young. But I don’t believe it’s EVER too late (or too early!!) to lovingly help kids recognize they are part of something bigger than themselves. And the power they have to make their community, family, club or friend group even better. They (and we!) can all be examples through our actions of making the world a better place.

So thank you, World Cup Japanese fans who pitch in, for making me think. And helping me want to step up my own actions, small and big, to make the world a better place!

Other Posts About Helping Kids Learn to Pitch In

• The connection between hard work and happiness
• Saturday chores that work (with age-appropriate job ideas)
• Three specific ideas to teach kids to work
• Raising independent kids