Sometimes I wonder what my kids will remember from their growing-up years. I know I touched on this in the last post, but I have a few more thoughts to share because I’ve been on this kick of wondering lately.
Are there certain things we did all the time that they will forget? Will some of those things I poured all my whole heart into somehow morph into a blank slate in their memory? Will other things, perhaps even the bad ones, (my door slamming for instance, ha!) cement their way into their memories more deeply than the love?
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately as my last child maneuvers her senior year in high school.
My wondering thoughts about this started with a lot of things, as most thoughts to. But most recently I was thinking about this back in December when our neighbors hosted another poetry night. It brought up some poetry memorization reminiscing for me. Will my kids remember that I tried to weave poetry and quotes into their hearts as my parents did for me?
The Beauty of Memorization
When I first “interviewed” schools here in the desert, Max was starting Kindergarten. It was such a fresh start. And I wanted poetry memorization requirements. There were a few schools that did this. The kids had to recite a new memorized poem each month and boy, it lured me in.
Why, you may ask, was I so adamant about that? I think because I memorized things growing up. We had all kinds of quotes, phrases and poetry that we memorized and talked about as a family. They helped us make our “points” for our whizbang money system. They helped my parents explain different concepts to us. I love this quote they wrote in a book (The Entitlement Trap):
Memorizing focuses the mind and trains the concentration. And it can be a form of gaining mental ownership of concepts and values.
–Richard & Linda Eyre
And all those words I memorized growing up situated firmly in my heart over the years. They have become kind of jewels in my memory. Or maybe “friends” to call on in quiet moments of thought. Some of my favorite phrases:
“Happiness? It is an illusion to think more comfort brings more happiness.”
“Joy is secret smiling of the heart”
“I said to the man who stood at the gate of years…”
“It is not the critic who counts…”
But in the end, with all things weighed in, we made the choice for our kids to attend public schools.
I mean, how hard can it be to teach them memorization, right? We could just require that kind of thing in our own family like my growing-up family did. And we (ok “I”) tried.
I felt like we did a pretty good job.
We had quotes on our chalkboard at the top of our stairs.
I had the kids write quotes on the walls of our new house before we drywalled.
More quotes on our chalkboard in our new house.
We memorized quotes and scriptures…I have videos to prove it. Ha!
But honestly, if you ask my kids if they knew any poems by heart I think they may tell you no.
In fact, I did ask them last time they were here at home.
And yes, they said no. Dang it!
Kids! Go back and watch these videos, will you? (haha)
A Drive and a Mothering Epiphany
But I had a special experience driving with Max, Abby and Murphy one fall day when they were here last.
No, Max didn’t remember any of that memorizing mumbo-jumbo, but in the midst of our conversation he pulled up this quote he had come across and saved recently, and read it to me.

No, it doesn’t say anything about memorization itself. But it reminds me about the beauty of nature.
It “uses only the longest threads to weave her patterns.”
My kids may not remember so many of the things I poured blood and sweat and tears into to teach them.
But hopefully the love I talked about in the last post, and the “small pieces” I poured into raising them with my heart will still become part of the organization of the entire tapestry that is uniquely “them.”
And I think that thought is quite beautiful.
Thank you dear Maxwell David.
Poetry Night
So, on to my neighbor’s poetry night. Oh how I love that she does this.
Lucy, of course, was not pleased as punch that I had committed us to being there.
At first.
But then as she sorted out what she wanted to recite her energy changed. That girl started to glow.

She was up for the task.
She had remembered how “Good Timber Doesn’t Grow with Ease,” and brushed off the cobwebs of her memorization of a couple stanzas of that.
It was amazing the transformation that was made in her stature and her face as she decided to do that thing I was asking.

Do I wish I would have started earlier to help her remember more stanzas? Do I wish I worked on this more often with all my kids?
You bet I do.
My Epiphany
But as we sat there that night, reciting our own (I shared this one, ok not from memorization, but wanted to share), and listening to others I couldn’t help but feel so grateful.

Grateful for little seeds we plant as parents, no matter how big or small.
It could be something as small as our example of always sending thank you notes, taking time for an evening “tuck-in” even when our kids are big, a welcoming response or a little impromptu date.
The real deal is that it doesn’t matter if our kids remember that exact time, place or event. It doesn’t matter if it ends up being something we’ll reminisce around the dinner table some day or if it is something no one remembers.
What we do as parents really does matter.
And becomes the fabric of “natures long tapestry.”
It reminded me “life is long.”
Let’s keep doing the “good stuff.”
Sending love out this Monday morning!
I homeschooled my two sons (same age so it was easier:) for most of their years. Poetry memorization was included in the curriculum we used in the grade school years so we covered it regularly. They memorized so quickly and easily during those years; if I had understood at the time what a positive, important thing that was, I would have done so much more of it and I would have continued it through high school. One of my sons still remembers a long list of prepositions because they were learned through a poem, but I don’t think either of them remember much of the real poetry we covered. We used to listen to a poetry CD in the car a lot. It had some really funny poems on it and we used to laugh so much together about them.
We always started every school day with a read aloud book and frequently listened to books in the car. I read so many wonderful books to them over the years. Sadly, I don’t think they remember very many of them. I even hunted down a book that my third grade teacher had read aloud because I loved it so much I still remembered it and wanted to read it to them (Follow My Leader-about a boy that loses his sight and gets a guide dog). I have so many incredible, wonderful memories of these times, but I don’t think they remember much of their grade school years (we did lots of fun projects and experiments too). It wasn’t as much fun when they got older and started pushing back, and I really wish I had pushed back. Sorry this is so long. Your post just brought up a lot of memories for me:). Love your blog!
Hi,Lea!
I really think they do remembeer more than you’ll ever know. Maybe they don’t have a clear memory of some specific moments or books, but I’d say that what you have conveyed in the act of presenting poetry to them is definitely marked in them and maybe it even forged the way they see the world.
I have several issues with my mother, unfortunately, but she did do something very right in presenting art to me, taking me often to museums and giving me very nice literature and showing me awesome movies. In spite of my issues with her, I am deeply grateful for all the efforts she put into doing this and I’m sure my whole way of seeing things is very positively influenced by the sensitivity that she helped me develop to all that is related to art.
Your effort certainly has given good fruits ๐
xoxo
It was mission prep. Simple at that. Memorize and speak in front of groups or strangers.
Fear factor at the reunion also mission prep. The missionary is sent where ever and it was and still might be a rule to eat the food people prepare for you.
What tho if, like me, youโre a fussy eater & wonโt eat certain food?
I only like things like fish fingers & chicken nuggets. I would never have been able to cope with the food situation if Iโd gone on a mission.
What I’m wondering if I can remember from you, is where I can find the details about your salad swap ๐ I’m wanting to get one going, and am trying to work out some of the details. I think you had a post with some details. Could you direct me there? Or do a post with details??๐
Ha! I forgot to circle back to this comment. I don’t have a post about our salad swap but I should write one! I’ll put that in my drafts, because it’s the best idea my friend came up with!
xoxo