As has been quite evident, this blog took a bit of a back seat this summer.
I let go of posting every day and snuggled up my children and husband more.
There came a day a couple months ago where I was sitting here on this computer writing or editing or something or other and each of my children needed something different. And I realized I had neglected my husband more than I should. My computer and this blog were getting more of me than they were that week.
And right then and there I realized that is not how I want my life to be.
I want to be with them. When I turn off my technology and look in their eyes and listen with my heart to what they are saying to me we are all so much happier. So a lot of blog posts and thoughts were put on hold.
There was this poem that hung prominently in the nursery of a neighbor I babysat for a lot growing up. I memorized it just because I saw it so much. And still to this day it rings through my mind occasionally:
(The whole poem is here.)
While it is true that I have no more babies that need rocking to sleep, I will always have my babies. And in my own way I will always be “rocking” them.
Some of them are now teenagers who’s eyes shine bright when they come home from their own little worlds on the weekends. I want to be there to find out what happened and let my eyes shine too. Some are little girls who are dying to show me the latest dance they made up. I want to watch and not be distracted. Some need dividers for binders and homework help and fingernails clipped and help sounding out words. Others need doctor appointments and spirits lifted up and a serious explanation as to why we cannot bake cookies every day (oh wait, that’s me:). Some just need me to notice they did something great…and to announce that great thing that night at dinner so their eyes can sparkle. Others just need a little hug here or there.
And I want to be the one to do it.
I LOVE Iris Krasnow who said:
“When you surrender to that fact then real balance comes, of having your soul and mind and heart in sync. …We can never go back to the fleeting moment that constitutes our children’s childhood. We only get one chance to get it right. And doing it right takes a lot of time. How we choose to spend our time is ultimately our greatest power as human beings.”
(This is from her book “Surrendering to Motherhood”…more here and you can buy here
.)
Raising five individual people I adore and hanging with my husband are my number ones. Keeping on track spiritually is right up there too (I’ve been much more diligent reading my scriptures and putting my heart there). And this crazy house we are remodeling…well, let’s just say that it is a LOT more work than I could have ever dreamed.
I just think this summer I realized once again what all of us moms need to re-learn over and over and over again:
Babies don’t keep.
So quiet down blog posts, dust, stay right there in that new house we have to make so many darn decisions on.
I’m rocking my babies.
And babies….and this little corner of life we are in right now…don’t keep.
(unless I blog about them…then they keep in a different way…which is why I can’t quit documenting…just must find a balance)
So when I’m not here for days here and there, just know I’m rocking those babies of mine.
And our eyes are sparkling together.
Unless I’m breaking up a fight or nagging them to get their darn practicing done! 🙂
really feeling the power of this post!
I've had the poem "Song for a Fifth Child" hanging on my fridge for the past 20 years, since my son was born. He starts college this week (and I still "rock" him – only in a different way).
Thanks for the reality check.
When you don't blog, I never think, "Oh Shawni's losing it and neglecting us…" I more often think, "Shawni is busy loving her family and being the mom she talks about being."
Sometimes the blogs you don't write are as motivating as the ones you do, and I thank you for that perspective, too.
I've been aiming for that balance this summer, too. Some days are better than others, but I'm trying. Love the quote you shared. 🙂
You are amazing! I have no idea how you keep up with five. I have two littles and I feel like I am drowning! Thank you for showing us that balance, by not blogging, as well as living it! Thank you for lifting my spirits every time I read your blog and for making me want to be a better person!
beautiful! thank you for your inspiration. i have just entered the next chapter, as my three babies are now ALL in school! i can't believe how fast that happened. the time apart is definitely making me value the afternoon and night time snuggles that much more.
Was hoping this was the reason your posts had slowed!
The fact is: (as Maya Angelou said)
"People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did
…but people will never forget how you made them feel."
Sounds like you are letting your family feel you are "right there" with them… in every moment.
I am the mom of an 11 month old little girl and I have the same poem framed next to my rocking chair in her nursery. I couldn't have said any of that better myself and I think about it all the time. I can't believe she's almost 1! You are such a good example to me Shawni. I look to your experience raising 5 children so much. And I LOVE your blog! You'll never know how much you've helped me. We've never met and you don't know me, but I'm glad I've been able to get to know you through your blog. Thanks for the time away from your babies.
I wonder what is going on…I always know that you will post when you can and maybe fill in what is going on. Keep it up and now I will know you will be taking care of your family.
beautiful! thanks for the awesome reminder. What a great poem to have memorized.
Perfectly put! Hooray for balance because I know that you always have a hundred great ideas you'd like to be writing about. I know you will shelf them until it's the right time to spill them out! Hugs to those lucky kids from us too!
Love you!
LOVE THIS!!!
but I hope you never quit blogging, I love reading your challenges, struggles & sweet times with your family!! Your truly inspire me to be a better mom!!!
Thank you!!
This is just what I needed today! I have 3 little ones, and my oldest starts Kindergarten next week! I'm holding onto my babies for as long as I can!
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