Parenting

Growing up with “parenting experts” and having five children of my own, I’ve learned a thing or two about raising kids.

The biggest thing I’ve learned?

There’s no one “right way” to do it. We all have unique talents and personalities to bring to the table.

Hoping what I share here on 71toes.com will help stimulate your own ideas. Ideas for building stronger family relationships, creating a family economy, establishing family systems. It’s always good to see how others are doing it so we can add to our own “toolbox.”

Sending lots of love your way as you maneuver your own unique parenting adventure.

XOXO

  • Shawni & David with the kids who were home for Easter

    Easter With Grown Kids and Grandbabies

    Easter looks a little different these days—with our kids grown and celebrating in different places—but somehow, this holiday still holds us together. This year…

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  • Shawni, Dave and Lucy hugging in front of the sunset

    Building Independence as a Young Adult with Special Needs: Lucy’s First College Spring Break

    Watching your child with special needs step into adulthood can be quite an emotional ride. It brings a unique mix of pride, worry, and…

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  • a Caitlin Connolly painting zoomed into a woman sitting worshipfully at Jesus feet

    Easter Traditions That Hold Us Together (Even as Kids Grow Up)

    Every year as Easter approaches I find myself asking the same question:How do we make this holiday feel as meaningful as it really is?…

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  • Tips for Raising Teenage Boys – A Different Perspective

    When my son Max turned fifteen, I was caught in that familiar swirl of maternal worry: Will he be motivated? Is he prepared for…

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  • Shawni and David surfing together trying to balance and hold on

    Adjusting to Empty Nest Life: Finding Balance After Kids Leave Home

    There’s a strange balance to be found in adjusting to empty nest life. After nearly three decades of raising children, Dave and I are…

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  • Elle and Carson standing with the Golden Gate Bridge behind them

    Visiting Adult Children: A Quick Trip to Palo Alto and San Francisco

    There is something so magnificent to me about visiting your adult children and getting a glimpse into the life they are building. Dave and…

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  • adult kids standing around the kitchen island making heart-shaped pizzas for Valentine's Day

    Valentine’s Day Weekend with my Valentines

    I got to spend Valentine’s Day weekend with not only my very own husband-valentine, but also with my kid-valentines, plus a couple of their…

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  • tips on raising teenagers from “in the arena”

    Teenagers are confusing. And frustrating. And tricky. But they are also pretty dang awesome. Raising teenagers can evoke a wide range of emotions —…

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  • Ada with her family on her blessing day

    The Blessing of Miss Ada June

    On Sunday, Max gave our second granddaughter, Miss Ada June, a special blessing in a quiet little gathering at Max and Abby’s house. This…

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  • a picture of a hand holding a digitally generated AI world

    What Parents Need to Know About A.I. – Artificial Intelligence

    While I was at the Faith Matters Restore conference a couple weeks ago, there were breakout sessions during lunch. My siblings and I wanted…

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  • a screenshot of my sister's parenting collective program details

    Are you Overwhelmed in the Parenting Department? Try this!

    I was just talking to one of my daughters this morning about overwhelm. She’s in the thick of trying to find balance amidst so…

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  • Lucy holding her cookie for her first day of college "cookie chat"

    The Beginning of College for Lucy – “By Small and Simple Things”

    Yesterday Lucy became an official college student. Well, in all actuality, she started last week in a special “connections” class to kick things off.…

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  • Shawni and Lucy riding the tandem bike in the sunset

    Praying for Angels as Lucy Heads to College

    Oh gosh, there is SO much going on in my heart right now. I’m a little paralyzed with how to record this whole getting-Lucy-ready-for-college…

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  • Lucy getting on the bus for the first day of school

    Back to School: The Best First Day of School Traditions We Love

    For the first time in twenty-three years, school started here in the desert without a single one of my children in attendance. There were…

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  • My brothers loading up the cars full of kids to take off to make memories in the wilderness of Oregon

    The Power of Nature: Making Family Memories in the Wilderness

    Each year when our family reunion at Bear Lake comes to an end, my brothers pack up endless gear as well as what seems…

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  • A Simple Way to Connect With Adult Children Through Prayer

    We all want ways to connect with our young adults, right? I mean, as parents we are in this funky land of “moving to…

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  • Planting Summer Flowers in the Desert – An Analogy to Parenting

    Flower gardening in the desert isn’t really my normal mojo here on the blog. I’m here for family life, travel and sharing the motherhood…

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  • Shawni and Lucy hugging during the motherhood transition of high school graduation

    Motherhood Transitions – My Own Goodbye to High School

    I’m pretty sure that the only “constant” on parenting is that is keeps changing. Motherhood sure doesn’t stay stagnant. There will always be motherhood…

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  • Want to Celebrate Good Dads? Here are some Ideas

    Oh my goodness I’m slow posting this week. I’m really celebrating this good Dad I’m married to since we’re coming up on our thirtieth…

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  • Thank you to the Village: Why Community Matters in Parenting

    Leading up to Lucy’s graduation, I was carrying a heavy load of emotions. I knew that having a daughter with special needs graduate from…

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  • Letting Go of High School, One Ceremony at a Time

    Welp, Lucy graduated yesterday. Which means so did I as a mother of high-school-goers. The business of letting go of high school has been…

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  • “Moving to the Bleachers” For Easter – Easter 2025

    We got lucky enough to celebrate with most of our kids this Easter. The weekend was filled up with kids, grand babies, long walks…

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  • How Love Can Help Our Kids Become Extraordinary

    As my kids have grown older I often look back and wonder: Did we push for the extraordinary too much? Did we not push…

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  • How to Reinvent Good Parenting…Over and Over!

    I have learned through the years that we have to reinvent good parenting. Over and over again. Parenting is certainly NOT something we learn…

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  • Squabbling Sisters Can Grow Up to be Best Friends

    Here’s another post in my series of “sister posts.” Today I am here to give mothers of young squabbling sisters some hope. Because guess…

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  • Cousins Make High School Dances Even Better

    Lucy went to another high school dance. And this time around I realized that cousins make high school dances even better. But before we…

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  • How to Foster Deeper Discussions with Your Family

    I am often asked how Dave and I foster deeper discussions with our family. Conversations that are more meaningful and make us closer. The…

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  • predictability promotes the best development

    I keep thinking about the developmental psychology class I took a while back that explored the “Attachment Theory.” I learned about the preciousness of…

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  • A Brand New Entrepreneur

    Finding meaningful work can be challenging for anyone—but finding jobs for people with visual impairment can feel especially overwhelming. This is the story of…

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  • mothering Max and Elle

    Do We Strive for “Superior” Motherhood?

    I read the most interesting article a few years ago that made me think. In our world where “gentle parenting” is becoming king, are…

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  • New Years Resolutions that Actually KEEP – One Way to Look at the “Big Picture”

    Oh I am sending out so much holiday love. Hope everyone had the best Christmas. So much I want to writ and ponder on…

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  • How to Organize your Fridge when you have Low Vision

    Want to know how to organize your fridge when you have low vision? Just grab some green masking tape and ask Lucy to help…

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  • The Importance of Good Men

    I’ve been thinking lately about the importance of good men. I think our world needs them desperately. OF COURSE we need good, strong women…

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  • Shawni and Claire hugging on a road in the sunset

    How to Build Relationships by Setting Boundaries

    Sometimes as parents we think we need to give up boundaries in order to build relationships with our kids. But actually the opposite is…

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  • Happy Father’s Day — I love David.

    As Dave and I drove Lucy to the airport to head off on her grand summer adventure I mentioned that so much love filled…

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  • An Excellent Book For Dads written by My Brother…in time for Father’s Day!

    Welp, I mentioned this in my Utah post, but let’s get to the details. Because my brother Tal wrote a book! A book for…

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  • Florida with our married kids after Carson’s Graduation — Goodbye Miami!

    It’s so strange to be in a season of life with adult children moving away. Again and again. It makes any time we get…

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  • We have an official Doctor in the Family!

    Yep, Carson is official. And I got a little teary as he stood with his classmates and recited the “Oath of Hippocrates,” pledging to…

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  • A New Key to create Better Communication

    Our communication matters! It is what relationships are all about. I recently learned a new key to create better communication

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  • Our family screen-time challenge results

    Ok let’s talk about our family screen time challenge results. (I asked if anyone wanted to join me in this leading up to Easter…

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  • What to do for FHE when you only have one kid at home

    I have an update coming soon about what the big kids are up to, because they are up to a lot. And oh how…

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  • A New Season of our “In the Arena” Podcast!

    Yep, the first THREE episodes of the new season are live for “In the Arena.” WooHOO! I love learning from my sisters as we…

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  • Lucy’s First Dance! – MORP

    Well, the long awaited and much hand-wrung-over high school dance has come and gone for Lucy. I talked about some of our emotions swirling…

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  • Three Ways to Help Teenagers Build a Positive Self-Image

    Let’s talk about three ways to help teenagers build a positive self-image. Because when you’re a teenager, especially in this world filled to the…

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  • Lucy’s First Date: Navigating Teen Dating with Special Needs

    Watching your teen go on a first date is emotional for any parent—but when special needs are part of the story, it can feel…

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  • How to Nurture one son

    I came across two old blog questions the other day about raising a boy. How to nurture one son. And also how to build…

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  • Lucy and Dave playing a game and Lucy is so happy.

    the most important nine minutes of the day

    I want to talk about a comment made on this blog a while back that talked about the most important nine minutes of the…

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  • Podcast recording with our brother Eli

    When Parenting gets tricky: some ideas to help

    I forgot to mention that we recorded a few of podcasts while we were together in Utah: a sister’s overnight podcast fest:) My brother…

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  • Annie and friends, learning about what single parents want you to know

    Six Things Single Parents Want you to Know

    My sister-in-law Annie is one of my great examples in life. I love her, and how her mind and heart work. I shared one…

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  • Shawni with Grace and Claire

    how to trust kids to figure out their own paths

    With emergent teenagers, one of my always-biggest questions was how to trust kids to figure out their own paths. Just like my fellow mothers,…

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  • Dave, Shawni and Lucy dropping off Claire at the airport

    Sending Claire off…How the “big” kids took their sister under their wings and eased their mother’s heart in the process

    I thought I would be ok just sending Claire off to the MTC by herself. You see, she has eight more weeks of study…

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  • Claire ready to start the Home MTC

    An official missionary and how the “Home MTC” works

    By the time this posts, Claire will be en route to her next adventure: the “official Missionary Training Center.” She will be in rigorous…

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  • Lots of “little things” leading up to Claire becoming a missionary

    Oh I have SO much to say about this “Home MTC” thing Claire is smack-dab in the middle of right now. But let’s take…

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  • Claire with extended family at her farewell at church

    Two big steps in mission preparation: temple and farewell for Claire

    Oh my goodness. TODAY Claire starts the “home MTC.” And I have a million and one things to say about that. There are a…

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  • a little fingertip-talent boost

    Already just at the beginning of junior year, Lucy and I have come to the realization this year might be a rough one. Her…

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  • Grateful for parenting partners – girls camp love

    The older I get the more I appreciate my village. I’m so grateful for parenting partners. Because try as I might, I cannot be…

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  • Lucy and Shawni at the LDS conference center

    How to inspire children Spiritually

    Let’s talk about how to inspire children spiritually. Something I’ve been thinking about lately. So I thought it was interesting that I came across…

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  • Lucy and Bo Jangles on the first day of school

    back at it, setting up for a “positive” school year

    Lucy started school yesterday. Yep, still in July, and on I think the 24th day in a row where the desert has hit 110…

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  • Shawni and David with Grace

    how to hold a five-facet review

    A five-facet review is a great way to think more deeply about how your kids are doing. And also how you can help!

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  • Claire’s prep for two new adventures – mission and study abroad

    Let’s talk about Claire’s prep for two new adventures: study abroad and a mission. As I type, she is already checked into her new…

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  • the powerful effects of a good dad

    Oh there is so much to say about the powerful effects of a good dad. Sometimes, when I slow down enough to notice, I…

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  • Ode to my Dad on Father’s Day

    He taught me the depths of cherishing others. To hold onto the goodness of people. And to honor memories. Especially his dad. Grandpa Dean.…

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  • Shawni and Lucy looking eye to eye

    The Magic of Connecting even when you’re far apart

    En route down the canyon after Ana’s wedding our car filled up with the magic of connecting even when you’re far apart. You see,…

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  • Grace and friends teaching their own gymnastics class

    How to Help kids be Productive in the summertime

    Summer is such an incredible time to learn and grow! So let’s talk about how to help kids be productive in the summertime.

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  • screenshot of Magnify podcast episode

    The best place to reach for Parenting Help

    As everyone is easing into summer vacation, I have a few things to say. Because I know from experience that summers can be tricky.…

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  • Our first three-generations family picture

    Our First Three-generation family Reunion

    We were able to meet up with our whole family over Memorial Day. It was our first three-generation family reunion.

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  • Shawni driving the high school carpool with Lucy and friends

    How to get through your Sophomore year with Low vision

    School is out here in the desert. The last day was the day before Memorial Day weekend. So let’s talk for a minute about…

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  • Lucy intently reading a book

    One of the Greatest Gifts we can Give our Children

    One of the greatest gifts we can give our children is to provide multiple opportunities for them glean the benefits of reading.

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  • simple job list

    How to make a simple chore chart

    One of my favorite parenting hacks to date involves how to make a simple chore chart. The thing I love most is that IT…

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  • A screenshot of Lucy's acceptance into the FBC Summer Program

    Lucy’s exciting acceptance into the FBC summer program

    We have some big news to share. Something we have really, really been praying for: Lucy’s exciting acceptance into the FBC summer program.

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  • "big" girls home for a visit at a restaurant

    in the wake of having my “big” girls home

    This whole last week has been filled right up. My girls were in town for my niece (their cousin)’s wedding. So, I have to…

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  • parent and children hugging on a hike

    How to Solidify and Nurture the Parent Child Relationship

    We all want our kids to like us, right? But the truth is the parent child relationship is about so much more than our…

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  • A great way to help kids make “Decisions in Advance”

    My parents had lots of good ideas as they raised us nine kids. One of their “masterpieces” in my book was that they figured…

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  • how to “move to the bleachers” parenting adult kids

    Let’s talk about how to “move to the bleachers” parenting adult kids. The act of leaving the field of duty, and even leaving “the…

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  • Should Your Kids and Teens have Social Media?

    One of the biggest questions parents are asking about technology and phones — is it okay for my teens to have access to their…

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  • Surviving and Thriving in the “Little Kid” years

    I’ve been thinking a lot about surviving and thriving in the “little kid” years lately, and about how incredibly important those early years are.…

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  • the best course for capitalizing on grandparenthood

    Ok, so speaking of my parents, I need to post about them and how they’re focusing so beautifully on grandparenthood before the day is…

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  • all my kids under my wings again

    As I mentioned in the last post, there is something kind of indescribably incredible about letting your kids fly away, and then getting them…

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  • the magic of parental listening

    Let’s talk about the magic of Parental Listening. Because Lucy gave me a really good parenting tip a few weeks ago without even meaning…

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  • a big miracle for Lucy

    The other day I was thinking about miracles. And their evolution. Remember how Lucy’s vision teachers took special care to enlarge her homework worksheets…

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  • some thoughts about how to talk to your child about sex

    I feel SO grateful my parents talked to me early and often, and openly about sex. I mean, they did write a book about…

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  • four ways for young adults to learn to love themselves

    Leading up to Valentine’s Day tomorrow, let’s talk about learning to love ourselves. Specifically, four ways for young adults to learn to love themselves.…

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  • some tips to better parent with your valentine

    With Valentine’s Day approaching, the latest “In the Arena” podcast is all about: 1) How to keep your spouse as your #1. and 2)…

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  • one way to teach kids to look outside of themselves

    We had our annual Children for Children Concert this week. It might have been my favorite. “Children for Children” concerts are something my family…

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  • what’s better than having a bunch of sisters?

    I am thankful every day for my sisters. And really, what’s better than having sisters? Doing a podcast with them! Sure, there have been…

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  • the “right” parenting style, and is yours working?

    We jokingly call this new episode “How to Control Your Kids,” but tune in to hear some thoughts on control, parenting styles, how our…

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  • The best way to parent young adults

    My parents have always pointed out that there’s no instruction manual when you pack up that tiny newborn in that seemingly gigantic carseat and…

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  • the powerful imprint of a good dad

    Each year at the Turkey Trot I think about how my sister-in-law Kara has made an imprint on all that swirling activity. As a…

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  • the gang (was) all here…the “little things” of the gathering

    We thought only Grace was going to be able to come home for Thanksgiving. But in the end, EVERYONE was able to make it.…

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  • Claire holding up one of the slips from the job jar

    job jar – add some fun to household chores

    Having a “job jar” not only helps keep your house clean, it has the power to add some fun to household chores.

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  • how to create a money-earning system that works for YOUR family

    I was talking with Abby on the phone the other day and she was laughing about how into budgeting Max is lately. And I…

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  • How to Improve the Sibling Dynamic in Your Home

    Depending on what stage you’re in with your family, it may sound impossible to improve the sibling dynamic because there are all kinds of…

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  • some thoughts about how to raise contributing adults

    We are deep into some serious fall foliage glory for Fall Break right now (too many pictures coming soon), but I’ve been thinking, as…

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  • How to Get Involved in BBS Global Awareness Day

    Bardet-Biedl Syndrome (BBS) is a rare genetic condition that affects many parts of the body—and for families like ours, it shapes daily life in…

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  • a mighty miracle found in a team of helpers

    In a discussion with some neighbors the other day we somehow got talking about miracles. We talked about how sometimes we have to recognize…

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  • Podcast follow-up and a party invite!

    We are so grateful for the incredible response we had yesterday with the grand LAUNCH of our sisters podcast. Whoa, first hurdle over. Thank…

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  • podcast launch day for “In the Arena” (WOOHOO!!!)

    HOORAY!!! The day is finally here!! The day we’ve been working toward to launch our first three podcast episodes. A Sisters Podcast on Growing…

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  • “In the Arena” podcast launch is in TWO WEEKS!

    Welp, we’re really doing it: TWO WEEKS FROM TODAY these sisters and I are officially launching our sisters podcast called “In the Arena.” WOOHOO!…

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  • the steep climbs and beautiful vistas of parenting young adults

    There is so much advice about raising kids, and gradually more and more about raising teens, but when it comes to young adults, poof!…

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  • regrets and why social media is *still* ruining our kids

    ** post-edit note: I don’t know who will come back to this post but I’m kicking myself I didn’t ask for what other readers…

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