We were supposed to take off this morning for Lucy’s testing in Bethesda, Maryland.
We were going a day early because that’s the way they arranged it, and we figured what the heck, we could visit friends and family there before all the serious stuff begins.
But last night as I waited for Dave to come home (he had been out of town most of the week…some for work, some for a golf trip), worry started spilling in about leaving. It started off just trickling in, but built up until I was pretty much a wreck.
I had thought since we were bringing Lucy with us it would be a cinch to leave four other “old” kids who have grown out of throwing tantrums. But as I sat there with the web of carpools and concerts and games and needs laid out before me I got overwhelmed. Even more importantly, my heart has been in a knot with worry about some different issues with our kids right now…things that I can’t control that make me feel sick to my stomach for them. And I just wanted to be with them and hold them tight for one more day.
And most importantly all the worry began to seep in about Lucy’s tests…How they would run? What they would tell us? How many more things for us to worry about will be brought to light?
After all the hype of getting ready to leave town and the adventures I relish that come with traveling, all I really wanted for today was to have that “gift” of an ordinary Sunday home with our family all together. I wanted to snuggle with Claire who had fallen asleep without a hug. I wanted to get more details about Max’s first volleyball tournament that I had had to miss. I wanted to sit on the piano bench with my kids and snuggle them up, making sure they could feel my heart reaching out to them.
So, at 11:00 last night Dave came home and saved the day and switched our flights to tomorrow.
And it made me so thankful for what a gift an “ordinary” day can be. I so often take those for granted.
And now we’re ready to hit the other kind of “real life” tomorrow morning.
p.s. Click here to see the great video about the “gift of an ordinary day” if you haven’t already seen it. Man, we’re lucky to have those.
Beautifully written. I feel the same. I have seen the video and I love it. I could watch it over and over. Oh wait–I do! Good reminder for me. Enjoy your trip. Sending prayers and blessing for the tests.
Oh Shawni, I know what you mean. One of the first hospital experiences we had with our daughter, Sariah, was being after a 2 hour ambulance ride to Boston Children's one Saturday. They were planning an experimental procedure in the cath lab, a last ditch effort to prevent heart surgery. It seemed like such an emergency getting us there, we were surprised when they told us they wouldn't do anything until Monday. I'll never forget the Sunday my husband and I spent with her in Boston. We were so scared, but wanted to do the "normal" things with her like have lunch, go outside to play, find all the fish tanks, etc. We were able to feel so much peace that day, giving us strength for the next day, which (not to be a downer, but seriously) was awful.
Ordinary really is a gift, and I'm glad that you were able have it yesterday. I hope everything goes well for you this week, and that they'll have terrific bravery prizes/bribes for Lucy.
Shawni, both of Katrina's books are amazing…you have to put them on your reading list. She's one of my favorites. I call her writing "yoga for the mother's mind".
I am giving you an award on my blog.
Please join the fun.
One of my favorite books ever! And your blog is one of my favorites too! Thank you for reminding me each day the importance of motherhood and family. Good luck with your week.
Hi Shawni! I knew you in Virginia for just a few months in 1997 before we moved. We were also in the Oakton Ward. I have always adored your parents. It is so much fun now to read your blog. You and I are the same age and have many of the same thoughts, I have found. Thank you for sharing your heart. With love,
Hi Shawni, I hope you are able to read this at the NIH. Remember to slow down and ENJOY the trip! Take Lucy to the tree house and out back in the Crooked houses! Take one of the trips out with the other families, enjoy a family dinner provided by one of the local business. Sit in the rocking chair while Lucy plays – and just be thankful for having these wonderful doctors at your fingertips. Tell Julie S. Hi from me!
thanks Shawni – I really enjoyed watching this and might share it on my blog too! what great thoughts she has and from other's comments I can see she has a few books – I might look them up – any help I can get is great! Naomi
We're at the same position, eldest about to start high school & 3 younger ones completely easy to manage. We'll start the baby steps with dinner out alone here & there. All the best to Lucy & her tests, you have great instincts, stay calm & courageous. Love Posie
I am blub-ber-ing shawni. This makes me wake my kids up to give them one last hug for the day. Maybe I'll just go watch them sleeping. Thanks for sharing this.