Home Claire some girls and a coach banding together to fill big shoes

some girls and a coach banding together to fill big shoes

by Shawni

Let’s talk about volleyball.

We are already deep into the school volleyball season over here, and this is how these girls feel about that little fact:

Ok, not always like that, because there are always some growing pains with a new team.

The other day I was talking with a friend about our kids growing up and leaving.

We were talking about how interesting (and beautiful) it is to watch the next-oldest kid take the oldest-kid-at-home position after their older sibling leaves. You wonder how it’s going to go, and then they just mature and grow and blossom and you realize, “oh yes, they can do this!”

I think the same thing happens with volleyball each year. At the end of the season we mourn the departure of those big heavy-hitters who we have grown to love so much, and wonder how in the world the next group will ever fill their shoes.

And then we watch the work of growing and learning and guess what?

They do fill those shoes.

Sure, in a different way, and with different talents, but each year I love watching this process.

So many seniors graduated last year and we have a new coach. So this team has had some work to do to figure things out, still do.

But man, this is a cool process.

And it’s so weird that now MY girl is one of the seniors…

So weird to see all these seniors lined up on the wall replacing last year’s banners:

Learning to lead and motivate and lift (she and her friend are the co-team-captains and she’s learning so much).

And hitting her heart out:

On top of the season games we’ve had so far, we had a big multi-school scrimmage and two weekend tournaments as well so this team is definitely learning and growing.

I love watching the energy develop and grow.

And come together as a team cheering each other on.

Some fun spectators:

In the last tournament Claire got selected for the “All Tournament Team” which was a pretty exciting honor.

We got to feed the team at our house (the families of the girls take turns on game days):

Fun to run into club teammates through all this. By this time Claire knows so many of the kids on other teams.

She sure makes this fun for her mom and dad 🙂

Part of me wants everything just to slow on down.

Why does life have to move so fast? Especially that first game when I walked into the gym, my heart cinching up because I knew it was the beginning of the end.

But gradually I’m just learning, like these girls, to lean into it.

And celebrate the here and now while it’s here in front of me like Claire is below:)

I get to be along for the ride!

Go Claire, and GO HAWKS!

On a completely unrelated note, speaking of letting kids grow up, today is the day my little “class” airs as part of the “Get Organized HQ,” talking all about transitions in motherhood.

You can find out all the details (and sign up to hear all the other speakers too for FREE) by clicking HERE. If you want to hear the speakers from the first few days you can check out the All-Access pass HERE.

I have a huge clean-out planned for our house this weekend inspired by those presenters, they are awesome.

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20 comments

KerstinEK September 16, 2021 - 3:09 am

I don’t want IN ANY WAY shame those girls for the way they dress or even open up a debate about it that would lead to shaming. However, I can’t help but wonder why female volleyball players (even underage) have to wear such short shorts and male ones don’t.

Also, it’s crazy to me how high Claire can jump. Pretty sure, she could jump over me (I’m small)…

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Shawni September 16, 2021 - 7:24 am

I don’t get it either…so strange to me that they don’t just wear regular workout shorts. No answers for you there!

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Lizzie September 16, 2021 - 9:36 am

Do you have an answer for this? When a Mormon person begins to wear garments do they have to wear them for everything? Such as outside activities? It doesn’t appear so when you look at your bear lake pics, or pics on trips with your older kids. Don’t the garments go below the knee? Please explain. Thanks.

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Shawni September 16, 2021 - 11:43 am

Good question. These are the instructions from the church website about garments: “The garment should be worn beneath the outer clothing. It should not be removed for activities that can reasonably be done while wearing the garment, and it should not be modified to accommodate different styles of clothing. Endowed members should seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit to answer personal questions about wearing the garment.”

I think the most important part of any garment discussion is to step back and think about the overall reason for garments in the first place. I think sometimes people mix up the wearing of garments to be for the sake of modesty. But in reality, they are a reminder of our commitment to follow Jesus Christ. That through Him there is Grace. There is repentance. There is so much more to learn. There is room for everyone, we are all sons and daughters of God. I’m so grateful for daily reminders of this. The garment is such a beautiful thing to me!

My friend Emily Belle Freeman has a pretty great explanation over here if your’e interested: https://www.instagram.com/p/CTPzpp4lQJ7/

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Lizzie September 16, 2021 - 12:56 pm

Ok, thanks! So Elle obviously hasn’t been through the temple or gone on a mission so that explains her shorter shorts. When does she make her commitment to the church? We should be able to tell by her drastic change in wardrobe, right? And when Grace gets home, same thing- can’t wait to see how she dresses post mission!

Jo September 17, 2021 - 11:29 am

Lizzie,
The activity dictates the clothing. LDS people wear clothing for sports much like the general population. Sometimes you have individual families that interpret things differently. (more orthodox) For example: I don’t care for the skimpy olympic beach volleyball garbs the women wear. Missions and daily garment wearing are very much individual choices. Family culture influences, but no one mandates these serious activities/endeavors. It is a choice only adult members make.

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Lizzie September 17, 2021 - 12:46 pm

“The garment should be worn beneath the outer clothing. It should not be removed for activities that can reasonably be done while wearing the garment…” The church website says that. Does not sound like it’s a personal choice. And walking around Venice is not a sport. Abby and Shawni were covered up to the knees. Elle was not.

Heidi September 16, 2021 - 11:00 am

Shawni, oh this pulled at my heart. My Sr girls first volleyball game of the season is next week and I’m praying it will go ahead.. they put us under restrictions again last night. These girls love this sport so much. I want this year to be amazing for them!!
Does Claire know where she’s applying to school yet for next year?

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Shawni September 16, 2021 - 11:27 am

No she still doesn’t know. She’s in denial. She’s talking to a few volleyball coaches and trying to figure out if that’s the route she wants to go or not. We’ll see! What is your daughter planning to do? And crossing my fingers volleyball season will be safe to go ahead!

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Heidi September 16, 2021 - 11:34 am

She’s not sure yet either! She’s adopting to BYUI & a few schools here in Alberta, but not ruling out a mission either. She’s turning 18 soon so if she goes the mission route she’ll graduate in June and can leave November.

Kristine September 18, 2021 - 5:07 pm

BYU women’s volleyball teams wear the same kind of shorts. Some of them have been through the temple and some not. And it is fine for BYU. You know the place obsessed about male beards and flip flops, well the Idaho campus anyway. The BYU swim team wears a swim suit. Obviously without garments. They don’t need to be worn for activities like sports. They could be. They don’t have to be. Why on earth people are upset at a 40 something over her twenty two year old married daughter’s outfits I’ll never know. They are COJCOLDS’s not JW. A pamphlet is not the word of God. Elle can go through the temple or not. Or decide when she goes. Or be a great member or not in appearance. All without her mother being responsible for it.

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Bennett+Delaney September 16, 2021 - 7:07 am

I don’t know if this was on purpose, but if it was I want to give you a shout-out for it … how cleverly the photo of the banners is composed so that all the other girls’ names are hidden for privacy and Claire is fully visible, but it’s done in an artsy way that seems fully organic and makes it a visually interesting photo.

You don’t need validation from a rando on the internet for your photography skills, but I just want to say that I noticed that and appreciated it. 🙂

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Shawni September 16, 2021 - 7:25 am

Ha! That is nice of you to notice 😉 I didn’t intentionally take the pic like that but I did notice that it was serendipitously helpful for posting on the blog!
xoxo

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Andrea September 17, 2021 - 10:05 am

Love these pictures! Good luck Claire 😉

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K September 17, 2021 - 4:15 pm

As we are reminded every two years when we renew our temple recommends if we are keeping them current, wearing the garment is an “outward expression of an inward commitment.” Wearing garments is a privilege and a sacred covenant made with God.

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Lizzie September 17, 2021 - 6:59 pm

Then why are these LDS members saying it’s not a big deal, it’s a personal choice, families can do it or not…? If this family is so in-your-face LDS… then why is Shawni defending her daughter not wearing them. I am tired if the two faced hypocrisy in this blog. Anything they don’t want to do is all of a sudden a “personal choice”. Pre mission, Grace wore torn up jeans, short shorts and midriff shirts. Now on her mission we see her in white tee shirts under long jumpers with bobby socks and buckle up shoes. Drastic change, like her mission costume. Am I the only one to notice this?!?

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PS September 18, 2021 - 8:29 am

Missionaries have a dress code they are required to adhere to as part of their program – it is like a uniform. Why does it bother you how others practice their religion if it doesn’t affect you? I find this unique to the modern US – perhaps driven by evangelicals pushing religion into politics and making it synonymous with the law. If your religion has lots of rules that you feel you must adhere to, fine. But many people all over the world from many religions practice what is in their hearts. They take the good – the things that have meaning to them, and leave the bad. It is ok to be yourself.

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Heidi September 18, 2021 - 10:57 am

Hi Lizzi

Elle hasn’t been to the temple yet. That’s why she doesn’t wear garments. with Grace, she didn’t need to wear them until she went to the temple when she went on her mission.
After Elle gets sealed in the temple ( a ceremony to seal you for eternity) then she will wear them and yes her wardrobe might change. I know there has been a lot of talk recently about the garment. The wording in the questions you get asked to be able to go to the temple slightly changed and I think it left it open for different interpretations. Some people feel you need to wear them 24/7 ( apart from swimming, sex etc) others think it’s a personal choice when and how you wear them. In the end people can tell you exactly how to wear something or do something but it’s still upto you in the end.. that’s not just LDS anything in life.

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Shawni November 3, 2021 - 4:25 pm

Thank you for these thoughtful answers, I missed these questions!

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angie September 19, 2021 - 3:38 pm

Lizzie, I understand your curiosity, especially since Shawni and her family have been very open about the faith and practicing it. And the temple garment is interesting to many people. I don’t know Shawni personally, but I would say that when your child becomes a young adult and then a married adult, all you can do is love and support them. Shawni as a mom might well wish (and pray) that her adult child wants to make the temple commitment (including wearing the garments), but there is really nothing else she can do. Any pressure or criticism could well drive a child away. As individual members, parents or otherwise, we make no judgements. That is following Jesus. We try to love, support and include. If someone would like a temple recommend and go to the temple, then they ask for an interview with the designated and inspired church leader who can sign the recommend. – Hope that clarifies it a little. Thank you for being curious. If you know any believing and active members of the church in your area, don’t hesitate to ask them personally.

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