I don’t know that I will ever hear “O Holy Night” in the same way again after Lucy’s MCO Christmas concert. The words “Fall on your knees, Oh hear the angel voices” has woven gold through my heart this Christmas season.
But let’s back up to when we were sitting in that concert hall filled up with the MCO choir and orchestra. I was really sleep deprived by this point in the aftermath of Thanksgiving journey, hosting our Relief Society Christmas dinner, Dave’s birthday and our all-but-Claire family gathered in close. We stayed up late over and over again to fit it all in. So as I sat there in that concert hall and that giant sound started filling it up, I started crying. Oh it was so much more than the tiredness, of course. That music is so beautiful. But perhaps the tiredness contributed to the fact that once I started I couldn’t seem to stop. I turned to Dave at one point, giant tears in my eyes and wondered if I could even handle all this goodness right at that moment.
But how glad I am that I did.
It’s not just the concert. It’s my girl up there in the balcony, raising her voice heavenward with all her might, singing praises to the God she tends to be a little mad at these days.
Oh she is trying so hard to keep that beautiful tether from His heart to hers. But she is also angry. Why does she have to be the one to lose her vision? How can a loving God let this happen? She asks in her heart each day.
But there in the midst of that choir of angels I know she felt His reassurance. She strengthened her tether. She willed her heart to let Him in. And, whenever that happens, we come out with more light. At least Lucy sure did following these concerts.
Can you see it?
Ok, so back to O Holy Night.
I love that Professor Stewart, the co-founder of this organization, gave a little background before this song. He talked about the line “Fall on your knees, O hear the angel voices.”
I don’t remember exactly what he said to weave this line so fully into my heart. But it was along the lines of how in a world of sometimes confusion and darkness, the best remedy is to “fall on our knees” and “hear the angel voices.” Just even the thought of falling on our knees. When the world and our sorrows seem to be too much to carry. When we need those angels to help us carry our load.
(Painting by J. Kirk Richards)
It made me think about the voices I let into my heart. The ones that tell me I’m not enough or the ones that connect me to God.
Oh let me let those angel builders in!
I believe some of them are my ancestors, guardian angels.
Trying to “hear those angel voices” more than ever this Christmas season.
Trying to listen to their whisperings helping me remember what’s most important.
So grateful for music and it’s “balm for sorrow.”
I went back to volunteer as a parent helper the last performance evening (there were six performances in all, phew!).
As each of those stange changes happened, white robes on in some, candles held in some, those choir girls filing in and out, their faces literally glowed. How does that happen when you are on your feet, performing over and over again?
I think it’s because they could tell they had heard the “angel voices” in that music. Through their own singing they were connecting with Heaven.
And that is a pretty good place to feel connected.
Love you Lu! And love that you find so much joy in this choir to buoy you up amidst your own secret sorrows. I love how you connect with and strain to hear those “angel voices.”
Sending out so much love today.
And also a hope that we can all “fall on our knees” and be attuned to “hear the angel voices” more often this Christmas season.
As we think of that host of angels surrounding those shepherds in the fields long ago.
My favorite painting from Ellie Wilson
They are here with us today too.
Beckoning us to the light and goodness that surrounds.